Rob Gage

[BITSA]

@Alterforme

Ok, it took me a lot of pondering and soul searching to decide to write this post. Obviously this is under an alter. My heart is pounding as a write it. It’s scary to put this out for people to read, because this is something I’ve been carrying around with me for about 47 years. A dark secret. A shameful secret.
I’m 50… so this story takes place when I was about 7. My parents were blue collar, this was mid 1970 & the world was a different place. My younger brother & Our neighborhood friends rode our bikes all over our small town with no adults or parents in tow. We were free & on our own for the most part, unless we were in school.
Normal we would stay with grandparents if our parents went out for the night. This particular night we had a babysitter. The sitter was actually my best friends much older sister. My friend was 7, like me. Her sister was in HS and dated an older boy. I had heard whispers from adults that sitters BF was a few years older then her & I remember that some of the adults really didn’t like how much older her was. However… I have no idea what his name was or his age.
Anyway, my parents left & The sitter made us dinner and as we watch tv on our tiny black & white tv, the sitters BF showed up. Then it was time for bed. I just remember being in bed & playing with a toy. I heard the door open & as kids do… I quickly closed my eyes & pretended to be asleep. I open my eyes enough to see the BF come into my room & close & lock the door. I was scared & didn’t know what to do…so, I pretended to be asleep. That’s when I felt him come to the side of the bed, lift up my nightgown, pull my panties down, he spread my legs apart & started touching me & massaging me. My heart was beating a million miles an hour. I was scared to death, I didn’t know what was happening, but I didn’t like it, I wanted him to stop, to go away, but at the same time, I was to scared to open my eyes. I was scared of what might happen to me if he knew I was really awake. I heard the sitter calling him & he stopped & left the room. I had nightmares for weeks after.
The sitter watched us 2 more times. He did it again to me a few weeks later. The third time… when we went to bed I decided to sleep on the floor in my sleeping bag. That did work, cause the sleeping bag didn’t have a zipper and he did try to get to me, but couldn’t. We actually moved away a few months later to a new town hours away.
The reason as a 7 year old kid that I never told a soul. I knew it would cause a lot of turmoil. I felt ashamed. I felt dirty.
i didn’t want people to know & label me “ that’s the girl that was touched “. ( I didn’t know the word molested). I didn’t want my friends talking about it on the playground. I didn’t want the teachers talking amongst themselves about it. I was embarrassed, I was humiliated.
I didn’t want to put my parents in the situation of thinking they were bad for hiring the sitter. Or having to figure out what to do or say to the sitters BF. I didn’t want my parents to be embarrassed that I this that happen to me. I didn’t want my best friend to know her sister had a bad BF.
I didn’t want my grandma to be mad or feel bad that she wasn’t around to watch me those nights.
So… I kept this deep dark secret. A year later when I was 8, I heard all the adults saying that the sitters BF had gotten into a bad motorcycle accident & lost a leg. All the adults were very sad. I was secretly happy about that.
Thru the years I kept this secret. The memory never goes away. It pops up when I see something on tv, hear something in the news, or sometimes just for no reason. The secret is just as bad as the memory of the incident. I’m 50 now… & I still would never tell my mom. After all these years, I feel like it would still hurt her to know. The guilt I carry about this is… I wonder how many other girls he has done this to over his lifetime. If he did hurt other girls after me… if I had told, they could have been spared.
To me, for a victim to come forward publicly to tell their story is so courageous. They do it to get rid of the guilt, to possibly save other girls, to validate that none of it was their fault. It doesn’t matter if it was 30 years later. It takes courage to tell your story. I’m not at that point.
But, one thing I do realize… it wasn’t my fault. Also… I do believe that this BF was in his mid 20’s and the sitter was probably 16 or 17 at the time.

Safe Sport is needed to protect kids.

I’m so sorry. I hope even now you will get some professional help. This was not your fault and you should not be packing around the guilt. You are so very strong.

[BITSA]

@CindyCRNA

This is from Robs lawyer

SAFESPORT CLARIFICATION -

I wish I could take the time to respond to each and every mis-step and mis-information that people post about SafeSport and understand even after one year we lawyers still muddle through much of it as it is a moving target. That said let’s hit a few points:

Safesport’s representative Dan Hill said Gage was:
SafeSport spokesman Dan Hill told USA TODAY Sports on Friday that investigators found Gage was guilty. . ."

Please search the current rules of SS and look for the word GUILTY. You will only find it ONCE on page 7 referring to a criminal court conviction. There is NO such ruling in SS that someone is guilty or innocent. The issue is whether or not someone may have violated the SS code and if so, in light of that what is their current fitness to be in the sport TODAY. That is the measure that is to be weighed. That measure also comes with review of mitigating factors - then a sanction is recommended.
Keep in mind NO one can violate the Code if the act occurred before the effective date of the Code which is March 2018. If an act is alleged to have occurred prior they then look to the NGB rule book for rules that may have been violated. In Rob’s case the NGB never had such rules. Thus SS went to the catch-all of “any violation of any law or rule in effect at the time” and chose to assign a criminal standard reserved to use in a criminal court, where each side is appointed counsel trained in handling such criminal cases and where the standard is “beyond all reasonable doubt”, and statute of limitations apply. SS instead slid the standard down to “preponderance of the evidence” which was never a standard to use for such situations. This is one of the areas where SS is unfair in its process in our humble opinion.
.

The safesport rules say its a preponderance of the evidence. This wasn’t a change, this is a normal civil case standard.

[2tempe]

Alterforme: I too am very sorry for what you have dealt with for so many years. But I will say that your description of why you stayed quiet just struck me to the core. I had tears in my eyes. So accurate and clear as to how a young girl thinks and feels. Thank you for the guts to now put it in words. And hugs to you.

[fordtraktor]

Geez. I am embarrassed for my profession that a lawyer purportedly wrote that basically illiterate and totally unprofessional response. I am speechless that is from an attorney.

[HLMom]

Holy cow, if this statistic is correct, it certainly gives one pause. Even if you could say the system “self-corrects” on the second go-round, something appears very wrong. We complain about bad judges on the civil bench but none of them get it wrong 90% of the time.

SS says they only find someone permanently ineligible to the most egregious scenario - again untrue, they were permanently banning everyone until pressure was placed on them and the arbitrations lead to over 90% reversals.

[Virginia_Horse_Mom]

@fordtraktor

Geez. I am embarrassed for my profession that a lawyer purportedly wrote that basically illiterate and totally unprofessional response. I am speechless that is from an attorney.

Thanks for this comment. I read her post and was QUITE curious about what other attorneys thought about it.

[fordtraktor]

@HLMom

Holy cow, if this statistic is correct, it certainly gives one pause. Even if you could say the system “self-corrects” on the second go-round, something appears very wrong. We complain about bad judges on the civil bench but none of them get it wrong 90% of the time.

SS says they only find someone permanently ineligible to the most egregious scenario - again untrue, they were permanently banning everyone until pressure was placed on them and the arbitrations lead to over 90% reversals.

That is frightening. That is way too much for an initial appeal. The average is under 10%. The Supreme Court is higher because they often only
take cases that are interpreting the law differently across circuits (circuit splits) and only take a small percentage of cases, the vast majority are not granted certiorari to be heard even if they believe the outcome may be wrong on the facts.

[Virginia_Horse_Mom]

I did read through her entire post, and though it does raise questions about some aspects of the SafeSport process… I’m actually sort of left wondering if RG maybe would have been better off with an attorney who was LESS connected to the insular equestrian world, someone who was NOT carrying around a massive grudge against USEF, and someone who was SPECIALIZED in this area of law (not sure of the specific area… maybe administrative processes or something) representing him.

Just a thought.

We don’t know the specifics of the case. There is a lot of insinuating by a lot of people as to what the actual complaints involved. If they really WERE as “trivial” as many people who are upset over RGs death are leading everyone to believe… PERHAPS a good, dispassionate attorney skilled in this area of law, with a lot of experience working through administrative processes… well, maybe that would have been better for the client, and led to a different outcome. Maybe not. Maybe the permanent ban was inevitable and there wasn’t a chance of overturning it. Neither I nor most other people TRULY know what the allegations were.

I don’t know Bonnie N. And maybe she is a great fit professionally in terms of representing people going through the Safe Sport process. Maybe not. The impression is that she is looking for a fight with USEF over a number of issues. Maybe it would be best for people to only use dispassionate attorneys when it comes to Safe Sport issues in the future.

[IPEsq]

USA Today did not put “guilty” in quotes like many other statements from SS. I’m inclined to believe there was as much bad reporting going on as a SS rep would use the word “guilty.”

I kind of lost the rant after that.

But I suppose one very interesting question raised is whether or not conduct that occurred before the effective date of the Act can actually be used to support a sanction under the Act.

[Midge]

@IPEsq

USA Today did not put “guilty” in quotes like many other statements from SS. I’m inclined to believe there was as much bad reporting going on as a SS rep would use the word “guilty.”

.

Since that is what she lead with, that is what I checked first. I would have bet money, pre-check, that it wasn’t a quote.

Is there any way to double check the 90% reversal claim?

[Virginia_Horse_Mom]

If the standard becomes “conduct that occurred before the act can not be used to impose sanctions after the fact” then any previously convicted sex offender who has served their time can set up a barn right down the street and market to families… and the only way you will have a clue is if you check the sex offender registry and the guy is listed. But we will still have a Safe Sport law so a lot of parents will think that a convicted sex offender would be on the list, and NOT down the street running a program with juniors as the primary clients.

If that person ever re-offends, and a junior is molested… there will be hell to pay, and the parents will be outraged at how stupid and limited the the law was. If a lot of kids get molested… good luck.

[poltroon]

@Virginia Horse Mom

I don’t know Bonnie N. And maybe she is a great fit professionally in terms of representing people going through the Safe Sport process. Maybe not. The impression is that she is looking for a fight with USEF over a number of issues. Maybe it would be best for people to only use dispassionate attorneys when it comes to Safe Sport issues in the future.

Ms. Navin is best known for her handling of high profile USEF hearings (typically around drug testing) and there’s a fair count of transcripts from some cases that went to appeal and interviews as well as her own social media presence if you want to get a more complete picture.

Assuming she wrote that, it seems she approached this in the same way as she approaches the drug cases she’s handled, which is to argue along the lines of NGB authority. If I were to advise someone I cared about on selecting an attorney for this matter, I’d probably suggest instead someone with more expertise in criminal defense on sex offenses, even though, as we’ve noted many times, this is not a criminal trial.

In a criminal court, of course the people pay for the prosecutor, not the victim, and the suspect generally loses his liberty and/or pays a hefty bond as well as paying attorney fees while the case is in play. Of course for any person to go through any of these processes is life-altering. Never forget that innocent people deal with the criminal system as well, and there the prosecutors have far more leverage.

The defense of “where does it say molestation of minors is a crime in the USEF rules” is sure not one I’d be putting on social media, were I someone’s attorney, even though I appreciate the legal question.

[Keep_it_Simple]

The attorney’s rambling contains more than one false statement. The description she provided is presented to swing people over to her side.

To start…

1. The Responding Party absolutely knows the accuser. While they are only provided a short description and initials, they can find out the name from SS. (And against policy, this information can get shared; a lawyer will tell you they need to know the name on order to build a defense for their client.)

2. The arbitration is done by videoconference, therefore the Responding Party DOES NOT need to pay the cost of witness travel. Any witness can utilize phone or video conferencing.

3. JAMS is used for arbitration. They specialize in mediation and arbitration WORLDWIDE. It is not some small little private company.

[Virginia_Horse_Mom]

In other notable news… “Randy Cates” has immediately weighed in on BNs post on her personal page, and people are supporting him. You can find his name on the Safe Sport list… he was permanently banned after a hearing by USEF (I believe before the current Safe Sport Center and process were in existence). This was back in 2015. The allegation is that he had engaged in extensive “grooming” with a teenage victim. Thousands of specialized text messages were found, as well as diary entries. The girls parents did call police and they investigated and though police and the parents did think that the “relationship” had involved intercourse, the girl refused to cooperate, and refused to testify against him. So Mr. Cates wasn’t prosecuted. But the available evidence was presented in 2015, and USEF did issue a lifetime ban.

Fast forward to 2018, and the state of Oklahoma made a mistake, and chose to feature his lesson business and farm in a promotional tourism video, someone noticed, and that person knew enough to know that Mr. Cates was banned for life by USEF and on the Safe Sport list… and the person who noticed the tourism video called USA Today. Well… they did an article on it…

State of Oklahoma touts business of equestrian coach banned for sexual...

Anyway, the state of Oklahoma has a lot of egg on their face for sure. But guess what? Even after the lifetime ban, and the USA Today article, Mr. Cates is still out there. And hopes to be reinstated. And following this whole situation… and he had commented on RGs attorney’s passionate post. Here is Mr. Cates’ comment:

Bonnie,
My case as a previously adjudicated case (USEF’s only one but supposedly across the NGB’s there are 900) I don’t understand how it’s “legal” but SS is retroactively applying all these new rules to these old cases. The level of due process is across the board in these old cases, mine for example wasn’t given any independent examination and was not only not supported by the alleged victim but was refuted by the alleged victim. My point, if SS can do that then Katie bar the door. Everyone is at risk.

13 people have had supportive reactions to his comment. To her credit, BN is not one of them. But you know what I haven’t seen? I haven’t seen anyone tell this slime ball to fuck off, stay out of it, we do want an equestrian community free of abuse, it’s just that we don’t like Safe Sport the way it has been implemented. But we ALSO don’t like 40 yr old men who manipulate teenage girls, drive a wedge between them and their parents… and very likely have sex with them. At least the police think so. As do the parents. But they can’t prove it because you are a seriously clever asshole.

Nope. The sheep are not getting it… as usual. Several of them are bleating in agreement with “Randy.” Other sheep are ok with the wolf wearing a sheepskin hanging out in their herd. Maybe others are “blind sheep” or “clueless sheep.” Whatever the case, there seems to be a wolf hanging out in this flock, and he is listening and watching attentively, and he likes what BN is saying, and hopes that Safe Sport gets overturned.

Anyway… that’s just how I read it. But perhaps I’m just “judgemental” and “paranoid”.

But as far as I am concerned, Randall Cates is an excellent example of why we NEED Safe Sport.

[dannyboy]

@Alterforme I’m so sorry you had to go through this. You have guts to speak out about it even now. This is exactly why there should be no statute of limitations on such evil behaviour. Sure, it was a long time ago - but not for you.

[Max123]

@Midge

Since that is what she lead with, that is what I checked first. I would have bet money, pre-check, that it wasn’t a quote.

Is there any way to double check the 90% reversal claim?

That statistic of 90% reversal claim is bogus. It was posted on an equine council website (which is dedicated to taking down Safe Sport) that she is heavily involved with. There is no way to even come up with a statistic since Safe Sport hasn’t released the amount of cases there are, how many have actually gone to arbitration - etc. Where in the world did she get the data for that statistic?? Pulled it out of her ass I’m sure.

She complains about the cost to the accused in having to defend themselves - so did she take RG’s case pro bono?

[GPjumper]

@Max123

That statistic of 90% reversal claim is bogus. It was posted on an equine council website (which is dedicated to taking down Safe Sport) that she is heavily involved with. There is no way to even come up with a statistic since Safe Sport hasn’t released the amount of cases there are, how many have actually gone to arbitration - etc. Where in the world did she get the data for that statistic?? Pulled it out of her ass I’m sure.

She complains about the cost to the accused in having to defend themselves - so did she take RG’s case pro bono?

The accused does pay all the fees. I’m assuming to get through arbitration, depending on your lawyer’s cost, it could easily reach 50k+ for someone.

I haven’t found a website with data for reversals aside from that one but if I find one in my googling, I will post it.

[Virginia_Horse_Mom]

I was wondering about that whole pro bono issue. I thought she took the Serio case pro bono… but haven’t seen anything about RG.

[Max123]

@GPjumper

The accused does pay all the fees. I’m assuming to get through arbitration, depending on your lawyer’s cost, it could easily reach 50k+ for someone.

I haven’t found a website with data for reversals aside from that one but if I find one in my googling, I will post it.

I’m aware the accused pays a fee for arbitration and whatever their attorneys charge them. If the accusers want an attorney to represent them, they have to pay for one as well. The accusers are NOT represented by Safe Sport or Safe Sport attorneys, they are witnesses.

[Horsegirl_s_Mom]

@Max123

That statistic of 90% reversal claim is bogus. It was posted on an equine council website (which is dedicated to taking down Safe Sport) that she is heavily involved with. There is no way to even come up with a statistic since Safe Sport hasn’t released the amount of cases there are, how many have actually gone to arbitration - etc. Where in the world did she get the data for that statistic??

Well, there is no doubt SafeSport keeps these statistics. Perhaps they should release them if the correct statistics would increase confidence in the process.