Rob Gage

[Virginia_Horse_Mom]

@RugBug

Nope…that isn’t all that was posted. oneequestrienne posted information that came out yesterday, 6/23/19 about four victims coming forward, one saying she was 13 at the time.

We all have varying levels of attention to what we read. I’ve certainly read things incorrectly on this thread… We all also recount what was posted in different ways…For instance, Virginia Horse Mom took this:

and turned it into this:

It’s neither here nor there because contact with ANY 13 yr. olds is abhorrent. But for those of us that desire accuracy, it becomes a sticking point. Not because it’s justification of anything, but because embellishment is “lying” to us…and we write off that person completely, becoming unable to ‘hear’ anything further from them.

I. thankfully, had the opportunity to learn that is just how some people are wired. It was during a professional team building activity and I had a lightbulb moment on why I had a problem with a colleague. They didn’t have the same tie to absolute accuracy that I do. They focused on high level and would embellish/exaggerate, not to obfuscate, but because that’s how they see things. Bright, shiny, new is more important than accuracy.

There ARE cases of ‘telephone’ on this thread…and it creates confusion and unnecessary drama… And some of the drama is because we focus on different things.

I’m having a bit of trouble following how it is that I have “embellished” or “lied” about information that has come out publicly about this case.

Hillary Ridland and others have now come forward… sexual cobtCt began with HR at the age of 13 (when RG was in his 20’s) another at age 14, and oneequestrian herself has mentioned earlier in a comment in this thread that there is another victim for whom the contact started when they were 12.

So - can you clarify as to how it is that I exaggerated the facts of the situation by saying that there are MULTIPLE 13 year olds? That I have “lied” somehow?

I’m very sorry for those who knew him and are grieving. But a man in his mid twenties having sexual contact with a 12, 13, or 14 year old girl is a very troubling pattern of behavior. I’d like to understand why you consider this an “exaggeration.”

[2bayboys]

@McGurk

I think it is incredibly, incredibly brave for anyone to come forward and identify themselves as an accuser and victim, considering all that’s been said.

I am simply in awe of that courage.

Yes indeed.

It helps that Hillary Ridland has her own resume to stand on and is married to the former chef d’equipe show jumper Robert Ridland. Her accusations can not be dismissed lightly.

If five women were willing to come forward publicly about Rob Gage this weekend, just imagine how many more are out there with their own compelling stories.

[fair_judy]

@AllOverFarm

One said-“ I love listening to lies when I know the truth”
another was-“ No need to explain yourself, God knows what happened and that’s all that important. No matter what everyone else says.”
Another-“ Before you tell something make sure you’re telling the whole truth not your version of the truth. Others may not know, but God does.”

i just found it strange these sayings or memes were posted yesterday. Same day as the victims coming forward.

I really hope it has nothing to do with the victims. They are hero’s in my eyes.

Bonnie Navin ( I will say her name) has a presence here. I haven’t seen her comment but trust me Bonnie is reading every word . I used to admire Bonnie… now I actually see her as damaged. She was low on
the totem pole and now she has attention
from Glefke and others who never gave her the time of day. If she has posted such memes I did that ineffably sad and hideous at the same time.

[Midge]

@fair judy

Bonnie Navin ( I will say her name) has a presence here. I haven’t seen her comment but trust me Bonnie is reading every word . I used to admire Bonnie… now I actually see her as damaged. She was low on
the totem pole and now she has attention
from Glefke and others who never gave her the time of day. If she has posted such memes I did that ineffably sad and hideous at the same time.

All you have to look at is who gains and who loses.

On one side, five women marching into the abyss where they have already been trashed or disbelieved or declared nonexistent. Less than nothing to gain here because people will still call them liars.

On the other, a lawyer who is trying to be the go to for all things anti- SafeSport and USEF. So this is the other problem I have. She says SafeSport is fatally flawed and can ruin lives, yet she used that system to get someone permanently banned. Pro Bono. How does that make any sense?

[RugBug]

@Virginia Horse Mom

I’m having a bit of trouble following how it is that I have “embellished” or “lied” about information that has come out publicly about this case.

Hillary Ridland and others have now come forward… sexual cobtCt began with HR at the age of 13 (when RG was in his 20’s) another at age 14, and oneequestrian herself has mentioned earlier in a comment in this thread that there is another victim for whom the contact started when they were 12.

So - can you clarify as to how it is that I exaggerated the facts of the situation by saying that there are MULTIPLE 13 year olds? That I have “lied” somehow?

I’m very sorry for those who knew him and are grieving. But a man in his mid twenties having sexual contact with a 12, 13, or 14 year old girl is a very troubling pattern of behavior. I’d like to understand why you consider this an “exaggeration.”

I could go back and establish the facts and suppositions in the 63 pages here and when and by whom they were noted. That’s the type of thing I typically like to do, but its a rabbit hole I’m not going to go down today.

What I had an issue with is that oneequestrienne noted one victim as being 12 earlier (i still haven’t actually seen that particular post…not sure why I couldn’t ever find it, but I gave up). Then she noted that in the conversation yesterday that one of the people speaking up was 13 at the time of the abuse. Is that just one person or is that the same person that was previously mentioned but the age misremembered?. Not sure. You potentially took that as ‘multiple’, I read it as the same person and therefore just one…and thus what feels like embellishment. After typing this out, perhaps it was just a lack of clarity. Subsequently, oneequestrienne noted that another was 14, so there is that.

Did you embellish? Maybe not after reviewing/rereading/typing out my response which shows where there is some vagueness. Pattern? hrmmm, I’d like more details. But in the end, I know it’s just splitting hairs in something that is just wrong all around. So, I try to shut that side of my brain off that looks for little threads of inaccuracy and just let it go. Please note that “lying” is in quotes. It feels like a lie to me but it may not be from someone else’s perspective. And there’s the real rub…we all read things differently and we are all open to errors in comprehension or to a lack of clarity in our communications.

So below are some of the things I have been thinking over the last few pages:

1. I DO see a difference between contact with a 12 or 13 year old and a 17 year old. The law sees a difference as well.
2. I find people use terms like pedophile too loosely, especially with a dirth of facts.
   3… The ONLY facts that had been reported by safe sport was misconduct with a minor and another report. Even their “multiple” is open to interpretation on exactly how many “multiple” is.
   4… We now have someone coming forward and confirming what had been hearsay until yesterday: contact with a a child of 13. Perhaps RG was a pedophile afterall…but I still don’t know if we (COTH) currently have evidence to support a ‘pattern’ that suggest pedophilia.
3. We now have some clarity on what ‘mutliple’ means - At least 4 people, possibly 6 or more if the four(*) from yesterday are not part of the reported SafeSport “multiple” reports.

This all matters to ME, but maybe not to you. And it only matters to me when I consider the details of what is being posted because in the end, it’s ALL wrong.

*edited to add: I actually had to go back because a few posters mentioned 5 accusers who spoke up yesterday, but I could have sworn that oneequestrienne said it was four accusers. She did…and then later said it was 5 total, Hillary and 4 others. It’s of no real significance…but because of how I think about things, it stands out to me…

@oneequestrienne

Four victims came forward yesterday one of whom was a victim at 13… There are others younger than 17.

@oneequestrienne

Hillary Ridland and 4 other victims had an informal question and answer following the Grand Prix at The Oaks on Saturday.

[Virginia_Horse_Mom]

So BN has replied to a comment in a recent thread started by one of RGs most loyal supporters in the wake of HR and others coming forward publicly… essentially, it is being alleged that someone from Safe Sport called HR, and requested she step forward and speak out because they felt they were somehow “losing this one.”

BN has replied that she would like to talk to anyone SS solicited.

The supporters now seem to be acknowledging that there WAS behavior on the part of RG involving multiple victims, but are pointing to RG having had horrible horrible role models (presumably JW), then “realizing” that he wasn’t the sort of person they were, “growing”… and then being a danger to no one for the last 30 plus years. I guess someone else who was a victim saw the situation very differently, and did think there was an ongoing risk to minors.

[Jealoushe]

@Virginia Horse Mom

So BN has replied to a comment in a recent thread started by one of RGs most loyal supporters in the wake of HR and others coming forward publicly… essentially, it is being alleged that someone from Safe Sport called HR, and requested she step forward and speak out because they felt they were somehow “losing this one.”

BN has replied that she would like to talk to anyone SS solicited.

The supporters now seem to be acknowledging that there WAS behavior on the part of RG involving multiple victims, but are pointing to RG having had horrible horrible role models (presumably JW), then “realizing” that he wasn’t the sort of person they were, “growing”… and then being a danger to no one for the last 30 plus years. I guess someone else who was a victim saw the situation very differently, and did think there was an ongoing risk to minors.

and the web of lies just continues to spin…typical of child abusers. Oh now they admit he did something wrong, but it wasn’t his fault right.

I’m so over this attitude. The truth may dribble out, but in this day and age, it will come out eventually and people are going to have to take some good long looks at themselves in the mirrors whether they want to or not.

[Virginia_Horse_Mom]

@RugBug - thanks for explaining.

I also saw a person Twitter in a discussion about RG stating that she had ridden with him when she was 12, and that no one was there to protect herself or her friends.

Maybe it’s all BS and the person is just a nut, maybe that person is oneequestrian, but that was also something that factored into my use of “multiple”

It is all wrong. Indeed. I am sorry for RGs close friends who are grieving. I do understand that they feel certain that this was long ago, and that nothing has happened. In many years. But the tragic fact is that there are statistics available, and studies concerning the very real and very high risk of repeat behavior on the part of people who have engaged in this sort of sexual contact with children.

[oneequestrienne]

@Virginia Horse Mom

@RugBug - thanks for explaining.

I also saw a person Twitter in a discussion about RG stating that she had ridden with him when she was 12, and that no one was there to protect herself or her friends.

Maybe it’s all BS and the person is just a nut, maybe that person is oneequestrian, but that was also something that factored into my use of “multiple”

It is all wrong. Indeed. I am sorry for RGs close friends who are grieving. I do understand that they feel certain that this was long ago, and that nothing has happened. In many years. But the tragic fact is that there are statistics available, and studies concerning the very real and very high risk of repeat behavior on the part of people who have engaged in this sort of sexual contact with children.

Not me. Not on Twitter.

[Max123]

@Virginia Horse Mom

So BN has replied to a comment in a recent thread started by one of RGs most loyal supporters in the wake of HR and others coming forward publicly… essentially, it is being alleged that someone from Safe Sport called HR, and requested she step forward and speak out because they felt they were somehow “losing this one.”

BN has replied that she would like to talk to anyone SS solicited.

The supporters now seem to be acknowledging that there WAS behavior on the part of RG involving multiple victims, but are pointing to RG having had horrible horrible role models (presumably JW), then “realizing” that he wasn’t the sort of person they were, “growing”… and then being a danger to no one for the last 30 plus years. I guess someone else who was a victim saw the situation very differently, and did think there was an ongoing risk to minors.

I highly doubt Safe Sport would ask a victim to go public. Safe Sport is all about protecting the victim. I imagine the victims are sick and tired of the pervasive narrative that he is wrongfully accused. There is strength in numbers - four of them stood together and they are incredibly brave.

So Bonnie in typical fashion is using her smoke and mirrors, carpetbagger tricks to deter from what these women actually said and created a story line. She is painting Safe Sport as the villain again to distract from what really happened. Now the rabid mob will grab onto that.

Did she listen to a single word they said? I wish I could read their statement.

[oneequestrienne]

@Virginia Horse Mom

So BN has replied to a comment in a recent thread started by one of RGs most loyal supporters in the wake of HR and others coming forward publicly… essentially, it is being alleged that someone from Safe Sport called HR, and requested she step forward and speak out because they felt they were somehow “losing this one.”

BN has replied that she would like to talk to anyone SS solicited.

The supporters now seem to be acknowledging that there WAS behavior on the part of RG involving multiple victims, but are pointing to RG having had horrible horrible role models (presumably JW), then “realizing” that he wasn’t the sort of person they were, “growing”… and then being a danger to no one for the last 30 plus years. I guess someone else who was a victim saw the situation very differently, and did think there was an ongoing risk to minors.

What thread?

[oneequestrienne]

@RugBug

I could go back and establish the facts and suppositions in the 63 pages here and when and by whom they were noted. That’s the type of thing I typically like to do, but its a rabbit hole I’m not going to go down today.

What I had an issue with is that oneequestrienne noted one victim as being 12 earlier (i still haven’t actually seen that particular post…not sure why I couldn’t ever find it, but I gave up). Then she noted that in the conversation yesterday that one of the people speaking up was 13 at the time of the abuse. Is that just one person or is that the same person that was previously mentioned but the age misremembered?. Not sure. You potentially took that as ‘multiple’, I read it as the same person and therefore just one…and thus what feels like embellishment. After typing this out, perhaps it was just a lack of clarity. Subsequently, oneequestrienne noted that another was 14, so there is that.

Did you embellish? Maybe not after reviewing/rereading/typing out my response which shows where there is some vagueness. Pattern? hrmmm, I’d like more details. But in the end, I know it’s just splitting hairs in something that is just wrong all around. So, I try to shut that side of my brain off that looks for little threads of inaccuracy and just let it go. Please note that “lying” is in quotes. It feels like a lie to me but it may not be from someone else’s perspective. And there’s the real rub…we all read things differently and we are all open to errors in comprehension or to a lack of clarity in our communications.

So below are some of the things I have been thinking over the last few pages:

1. I DO see a difference between contact with a 12 or 13 year old and a 17 year old. The law sees a difference as well.
2. I find people use terms like pedophile too loosely, especially with a dirth of facts.
   3… The ONLY facts that had been reported by safe sport was misconduct with a minor and another report. Even their “multiple” is open to interpretation on exactly how many “multiple” is.
   4… We now have someone coming forward and confirming what had been hearsay until yesterday: contact with a a child of 13. Perhaps RG was a pedophile afterall…but I still don’t know if we (COTH) currently have evidence to support a ‘pattern’ that suggest pedophilia.
3. We now have some clarity on what ‘mutliple’ means - At least 4 people, possibly 6 or more if the four(*) from yesterday are not part of the reported SafeSport “multiple” reports.

This all matters to ME, but maybe not to you. And it only matters to me when I consider the details of what is being posted because in the end, it’s ALL wrong.

*edited to add: I actually had to go back because a few posters mentioned 5 accusers who spoke up yesterday, but I could have sworn that oneequestrienne said it was four accusers. She did…and then later said it was 5 total, Hillary and 4 others. It’s of no real significance…but because of how I think about things, it stands out to me…

I wrote the wrong number. I corrected my mistake and even left a note explaining the edit. Is that wrong?

[OwnTooMany]

@NoSuchPerson

I’ve asked this question before and I’ll ask it again: Exactly what is it you think you need to know that is being inappropriately kept secret?

The identities and complete history of the victims? The dates and times of any alleged illegal/inappropriate actions? All the salacious details of exactly what happened? Because that’s just crazy talk. You don’t get to know these things.

SafeSport is not an exception in this. Its policies are entirely consistent with similar entities and with most law enforcement.

My understanding is that the only things we know from SafeSport is that Rob Gage’s lifetime suspension was due to sexual misconduct with a minor. This was followed up by an interview with a SafeSport spokesman that indicated that there were several minors. If I am mistaken and SafeSport has revealed more, then please let me know.

So to begin, I would like to know what “sexual misconduct” he was found to have committed.

Things that fall under the category of “sexual misconduct” in the SafeSport code include verbal harassment, unwanted advances, kissing, touching through clothing, all the way up to forcible rape. This is a very broad category of things with a vast range of seriousness (in my view).

Given that SafeSport has not revealed what they decided Rob Gage has done, the “facts” appear to be trickling out via social media. Unfortunately, in many cases social media is not a good source of facts.

I would suggest that most of this thread (which is now 63 pages long in my browser and polarizing people into various camps) would be unnecessary if SafeSport had just revealed what Rob Gage did (to the level that the code defines things), the approximate ages of the victims at the time, and how long ago the offenses were committed (not dates and times, but number of years). In most cases, this information would not reveal the identity of the victims.

[ladyj79]

It doesn’t matter what specific ways he sexually violated multiple minors.

Seriously, that’s a horrifying idea.

[RugBug]

@oneequestrienne

I wrote the wrong number. I corrected my mistake and even left a note explaining the edit. Is that wrong?

Nope…great way to handle the correction…but you missed the original post. you corrected post #1217 but left the error in post #1203.

Again, it’s just something that I get stuck on. You’ve been very trustworthy in your posting…I appreciate that.

(and if you didn’t mention that 12 yr old but someone on twitter did, maybe that’s why I couldn’t find it?

I really don’t like this whole ‘so and so said on FB or Twitter’ So what? I’m not on twitter and I am purposefully staying away from FB conversations about this…as I do certain other topics. Can we really not discuss something here and not use FB to drive conversation? BN has already shown her true colors…I don’t need the play by play of what she’s doing on SM…I’d follow/fb stalk her if I was interested in her bottom feeder perspective. She’s creating a sideshow that I’m not interested in seeing.)

[Texarkana]

It blows my mind that people (on this thread) are suggesting there are levels of sexual misconduct with a minor that are acceptable.

“Aw shucks, he just talked about a 14 year old’s body and made passes at her. Completely harmless.” Right. :rolleyes:

[2bayboys]

@OwnTooMany

My understanding is that the only things we know from SafeSport is that Rob Gage’s lifetime suspension was due to sexual misconduct with a minor. This was followed up by an interview with a SafeSport spokesman that indicated that there were several minors. If I am mistaken and SafeSport has revealed more, then please let me know.

So to begin, I would like to know what “sexual misconduct” he was found to have committed.

Things that fall under the category of “sexual misconduct” in the SafeSport code include verbal harassment, unwanted advances, kissing, touching through clothing, all the way up to forcible rape. This is a very broad category of things with a vast range of seriousness (in my view).

Given that SafeSport has not revealed what they decided Rob Gage has done, the “facts” appear to be trickling out via social media. Unfortunately, in many cases social media is not a good source of facts.

I would suggest that most of this thread (which is now 63 pages long in my browser and polarizing people into various camps) would be unnecessary if SafeSport had just revealed what Rob Gage did (to the level that the code defines things), the approximate ages of the victims at the time, and how long ago the offenses were committed (not dates and times, but number of years). In most cases, this information would not reveal the identity of the victims.

And to me it’s enough to know that his “misconduct” was serious enough that he deserved a lifetime ban.

[khall]

ANY sexual misconduct with an underage minor is abhorrent. I don’t need to know the details to be appalled at RG’s behavior.

[OwnTooMany]

@ladyj79

It doesn’t matter what specific ways he sexually violated multiple minors.

Seriously, that’s a horrifying idea.

So it does not matter to you whether someone is found to have committed verbal harassment of a 17 year old or forcible rape of a 12 year old? Both of these qualify as “sexual misconduct with a minor” if I am reading the code correctly.

I will also add that indicating what the accused was found to have done at the level of the offenses outlined in the code is not asking for salacious details. It could be just a list of the section, subsection, and paragraph numbers.

[Texarkana]

@OwnTooMany In your attempt to desperately find a situation where “sexual misconduct with a minor” as defined by SafeSport would be harmless or acceptable, you are making yourself look like a real schmuck.

Let me repeat it one more time: sexual misconduct with a minor is never acceptable.