As someone who rode in the NYC area for years, and just moved away and had to find a new barn in an equally expensive area, one question I have is: what is the backup plan if the new barn you’ve picked (and decided to live near) doesn’t work out? It could seem perfect on paper and on the phone… but what if your horse hates their turnout schedule, or you hate the trainer’s communication style, or any of the other million things that can be a dealbreaker?
I’d call the barn you’re thinking about moving to and confirm exactly what they can provide for your mare. If you and the mare need x amount of pro rides and lessons per week, you have to find out if they can do that and you can afford it.
Then, I’d make sure you have a backup barn (or two, or three). I cannot overemphasize how expensive board & training can be around NYC, even in ‘cheaper’ areas like NJ. Start calling around and inquiring about board & training prices. Make a spreadsheet. People here and on local FB groups will have lots of recommendations.
If you adore THIS horse, and you have a couple of barns that might work, I’d leave with current trainer for a while you get settled, then move her. (Or send her to a colt starter as your trainer recommended - though I’m curious why that was recommended? Does she have major holes in her basics that the pro can ride through, but you cannot?) If it’s not working out, you can always sell her after you move with the help of your new trainer.
If you don’t love & totally click with THIS horse, but just want your own horse… I’d send her to a good sales barn or have current trainer sell her. Then, put the proceeds toward a lease at a new barn in your area. If you need a daily horse fix, I am sure there is a therapeutic riding facility or horse rescue nearby that needs extra hands. Or maybe someone on a local FB group who’d be happy to have you come groom their retirees a few times a week.
Before I moved, one of my wise friends reminded me that there are seasons in life for everything, including riding. There are times in life when riding and horses can be our #1 priority, and times when it has to take a backseat to family, career, or a big life change. It’s fine if you need to put riding on the backburner for a bit, sell this mare, and start fresh in a new location. Being overhorsed, moving, and finding a new barn are all tough, draining & sometimes discouraging. I wouldn’t want to deal with all three at once.