Spin off....things you never thought you had to tell your BM

[ladyj79]

I should clarify first, this person was never directly responsible for my horses, but I was responsible for hers:

You are out of feed.
You are out of hay.
Please don’t steal my shavings.
Please don’t steal my feed.
Please don’t steal my hay.
Please don’t steal my stuff.
I put my name on things because my stuff was disappearing.
My tack room is locked because my stuff was disappearing.
My feed room is locked because my feed was disappearing.
Please don’t get drunk and run around the arena when we have novice riders and green horses working.
Please put clothes on when we have clients or lessons kids coming. At least a shirt over your ill-fitting string bikini top.
Please tell your boyfriend not to be disassembling rotting metal sheds adjacent to the arena when I’m showing YOUR horses to clients.
It doesn’t matter that you didn’t know whose x that was, you knew it wasn’t yours.
Please stop telling people you run a rescue.
Please feed your horses.
Please clean your stalls.
Please repair the fences.
Please go get your own horses when they escape and run amuck down the road or on the golf course, those are our landlords.
Please go get your own horse unstuck from the toppled metal gate. She is old and I’m in Florida.
Please geld your four stallions.
Please neuter your animals.
Please don’t glue the ripped off eyelid back on the horse with gorilla glue. And wait a week to call a vet.

I could go on and on and on and on. And this is just one barn.

[Red_Barn]

I only boarded at one place where the BO was a drunk - white wine out of a box - but, awful as she was, mine never attained the heights of sheer, unspeakable horror that you describe so well, Ladyj.

:eek:

I’m going to have nightmares about Gorilla Glue for a year.

[ladyj79]

Oh these are tame. I mean,

please don’t discharge firearms in the barn parking lot in an attempt to intimidate.
Please don’t assault boarders multiple times.
Please don’t make me call the police five times in one day.
Please don’t drive to former boarders homes and scream obscenities while honking your horn
Please don’t try to break into my home or send people with drugs and weapons charges to hide in the dark in my driveway
Please don’t forge signatures on contracts
Please don’t trade drugs with the other junkies at the barn
Don’t exchange board for drugs
Please don’t use my water buckets which I filled from home to fill your own buckets when the pipes are frozen because you were too drunk or stoned to drain the lines
Please don’t tell animal control that field you rent isn’t yours and you don’t know whose horses those are.

God.

It could continue but I have to go tack up some horses.

[Red_Barn]

Wow.

The worst thing my drunk BO ever did was pass out watching Judge Judy, leaving me to deal with 15 demented campers, a couple of clueless tween “instructors”, and 20 really, really pissed off lesson horses. (Okay, she did it practically every day for an entire summer, but still. As far as I know, she never shot a single person for any reason . . . so, basically, pretty tame stuff compared to yours.)

I’m really impressed by your fortitude.

[nu2u]

[QUOTE=taharah;7908571]
funny, because i was thinking of creating the same spin off :lol:

if my horse acts out, please smack him, or dont let him get away with it

i cant really help it if my horse plays “too much” during turn out.

please do not change my horse’s diet without telling me because you disagree with my and my vet’s opinions of how my horse should be fed.

please do not turn out my horse with a rope halter or an unbreakable nylon

the peed on shavings need to be mucked out too

please dont keep the heavyweight on when its 65+ degrees because you dont want to have to put it back on tomorrow night

if a horse is absolutely covered in mud, i would not put a blanket on that…and keep it on for a week without checking on the horse or calling the owner

also id appreciate if you didnt smoke in the barn !!

…this isnt all from the same bar its over many different places with some other friends concerns as well[/QUOTE]

OH WE HAVE BEEN AT THE SAME BARN!!! all except the last one from my previous barn and the last from a TB breeding barn I worked at many moons ago.

One of my favorites:
“UMMMMMMM I have to disagree with your theory horses only drink right after they eat and no horse needs more than 5 gallons. I will take responsibility for keeping both buckets in his stall full and clean”…seriously she said to me they only drink right after they eat and never need more than 5 gallons a day.

[PaintPony]

Please don’t call me to tell me that my horse “pees too much” and expect me to do something about it. :rolleyes:

[Gainer]

[QUOTE=shea’smom;8258430]
Gainer, holy mother. I’d totally lose it. How freaking stupid is that BM?![/QUOTE]

Pretty freaking stupid, I’ll tell you! Another act of idiocy that she committed…she called to proudly tell me that she remembered to blanket my old mare that was clipped before turning her out in the cold rain. I got to the barn later and realized that she blanketed the mare’s unclipped gelding son instead. Mare was shivering out in the rain. And we’d been there for a year at that point…she still couldn’t tell the two apart!

Needless to say, I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. That woman was a piece of work; I could fill a novel with the stupid things she did. Never could figure out if she was stoned, drunk or just that stupid. Claimed to have 40 years of experience with horses…

[Caol_Ila]

When I go out of town for two weeks and halfway through my holiday, call you to ask how my horse is doing, don’t then tell me, “Oh, by the way, I had the vet take blood for an EPM test last week.”

“What?? Why do you think she has EPM? Is she falling over? Lethargic? Uncoordinated?”

“No, when I was riding her, I noticed she was stiffer to the right than she is to the left.” (I had asked BO to ride horse while I was out of town)

“Aren’t most horses stiffer to one side? Isn’t that normal?”

“More horses have EPM than are ever diagnosed.”

This was more than ten years ago. Horse still doesn’t have EPM.

[Sleipnir]

I have been a lurker for a while and this is my first post. Frankly, I signed up just because I could not NOT share on this thread.

These occurrences happened in different barns and I had thought that I must attract the crazy BOs…apparently, it’s not the truth - after reading this thread!

"DON’T turn the horse with the torn ligament out in a hock-deep muddy pasture with a herd of playful geldings, because “he’s not going to be fit for competitions anymore anyway”. Just DON’T. Hell will break loose when I come to the barn and see that.

“See that grass? I don’t, either. Horses need grass. This pasture is overgrazed. Please, supply new fields or at least hay!”

“Old, moldy hay the horses have been peeing in is not a good nutritional plan at all.”

“Stuffing minimal amounts of hay under the electric wire so that the horses have to fight their fear to be zapped to grab tiny amounts of hay is NOT a substitute for slow feeders…especially not when the horses are outside 24/7, in freezing wind during winter!”

“Despite that you believe firmly in the assumption that “horses are no pigs and shouldn’t eat anything than grass and hay” and that “they colic from all those fancy supplements!” my horse will still get his supplements or I’m gone!”

“Please DON’T lunge your bucking, bolting youngster in the arena, hogging most of it while I’m trying to ride at least in one corner in the single hour after work I can make it to the barn during winter.”

“Yes, horses need more than one bucket of water per fortnight…yes, even during winter, and NO, they don’t get enough from snow.”

"For the love of all gods, DON’T call me almost in the middle of the night, screeching like a banshee that I “have blackmailed you in front of the other boarders”…just because I told one of the fellow boarders why exactly I’m moving…re: the horse with the torn ligament turned out in mud with others, horses not being fed and watered, etc.

“I will appreciate if you, after I move away, don’t call other barns in the near vicinity, stating that I “stole your tea”. I don’t even drink tea.”

“No, my horse is not freezing to death just because there’s a little snow in his mane, and no, I’m not going to allow you to blanket him with heavy blankets and put him inside for several months, like you do with your own horses.”

I know I will remember more…

[spotted_draft_x_fill]

Don’t send me an email saying that my horse is lame and that you and any other boarder that was around did a lameness exam on him including flexions, trotting up and down the gravel road and in tight circles. Then proceed to tell me you’re going to call the vet out because you couldn’t figure out what was wrong. Luckily my emails go to my phone and I was able to see it right away, so I called them.

I left work early to see what was wrong. When I got there my horse was walking fine. I checked him out and the only thing that I found that was causing him a little discomfort was that he chipped his hoof from stamping at the flies. I could only imagine how much that vet bill would of been if I never received that email.

At another farm the BO sent me a text saying that she believes my mare is colicing. First of all I don’t have my phone attached to my hip, and not always do I check my texts right away. Second she said it was my chestnut mare, which at that point I didn’t have any chestnut horses only bays, and I figured out it was my mare by the description of her halter.

I rush out to the farm to check on her freaking out since she never colicked before only to find her standing there half asleep. No sign of distress, gut sounds ok, no sweat, nothing. She was covered in hay, so I asked the BO what she was doing. She said she was rolling in the hay a couple of times. Yeah she does that and so will my gelding. She’s fine thanks!

[PeanutButterPony]

Don’t bill the barn for Spring Shots ‘administered by the Vet’…not when they were administered by You, BM, directly out of the box from Valley Vet. Because it’s really awkward when one of your boarders moves, and calls the vet to get the horse’s shot records…which don’t exist.

awwkkkkwaaarrdd…

[DeeThbd]

I love the family who inherited me when they bought the farm where I’ve been for several years, but a couple of things recently have made me :eek: and :lol: and :no:
Yes, my geldings are both dark bay TBs…one looks like the stereotypical TB; the other like a QH. Telling me that you can’t tell them apart makes me cringe a bit. Granted they both have white stars and two hind socks, but they are VERY different!
Yesterday one of the BOs saw me with a muck basket and a fork in the smaller turnout. Asked me what I was doing - to which I replied “Picking poop”. She started smirking and laughing at me, and asked me “Why?” I explained to her that it will keep the grass nice and reduce bugs, and she continued smirking at me as she walked away, saying “It’s a field”.

[ohmissbrittany]

Not my current barn, but in the past:

“I think his hock is broken… Have you called the owner?” (Horse was 3-legged lame for over a week due to a kick received from another horse. Then she didn’t tell the owner what actually happened and said he stuck his leg through a fence.)

If my horse has a bloody gash on her leg, and I’m not in town, please call me and/or the vet. Don’t just cold hose it and say nothing.

Cattle feed is not good for horses, and the horse feed I buy for my horse is not communal property.

My horse does not “drink and pee too much”- she’s just twice the size of your POA/QH ponies. I also put 2 water buckets in there because all too often I found the only one in there dry.

[BellaMia]

How much time I spend riding, grooming, playing with my horse is my choice and telling me I am doing something to much or to little and have to stop or leave is ridiculous. It is my horse and if I want to spend hours grooming as she munches hay, I can. If I don’t ride as much as you like, well, that is still my choice, not yours.

If you don’t have any pasture and are feeding a cheap arse grain, you can’t say, “They don’t need hay and are fat and happy” when even the vet falls over and goes “you HAVE to put weight on these horses!!! FEED them!”

You can not tell me a horse that falls on the scale as a level 1-2 is all because of “lack of muscle from not being ridden” and has nothing to do with the fact that you AREN’T FEEDING THEM. You can’t ride that! It isn’t healthy or right.

If my children are well behaved and I have one with me grooming MY horse in MY stall WITH me there guiding and no one else is even at the barn, you have no reason to tell me they can’t be there especially when you know the horse belongs to them and that they are learning as correct of a way your barn will allow to be horsemen and women. Not just kids who come out to a barn with an already tacked up horse and no need to do anything else including bond.

Telling someone not to ride without stirrups because it does nothing for you and is stupid is not an effective training tool. There is a thing called an independent seat.

Not calling an owner with there is a giant and deep cut across the side and open across the hip bone that should have received immediate care, but calling when there is a small bite from another horse that barely scrapped the skin off like it is an emergency from hell and you are over 30 miles away and it is after bedtime for my kids. It is not fun getting everyone up, in the car, racing to the barn, hunting down a dark field (yes, field, not barn) to find horse and try to find this so called emergency wound. :-/

Sorry, I am just a little pissy today, lol.

[Caol_Ila]

Texting me as soon as I got home from the barn, which is a 15 minute drive, to say, “She has a nose bleed. It doesn’t look good,” was definitely cool. Then I drove like a raging maniac back to the barn, thinking you, your wife, or your (adult) daughter would be with the horse, given, “It didn’t look good.” No one was there with her, except for a fellow livery futzing with her horse in the stall across the aisle, who did not say a word and would have definitely witnessed the whole thing. “I’m glad she’s all right,” or something is a start. I was not impressed. Not cool.

(by then, nosebleed had stopped, stall looked a little bit like a crime scene but horse was happily munching hay and wondering why I charged into her stall like an insane person. Horse sometimes gets nosebleeds in summers when she is sneezing a lot due to pollen, and vet over phone assured me that if horse wasn’t already dead, she was probably fine. Yeah).

I would also rather you did not read me the riot act when, instead of trailering back home overnight when I was at a two day clinic, I elected to keep horse at the clinic barn for the night (it had offered overnight stabling as part of clinic, but I had initially planned on being cheap and shuttling horse back and forth). I did text you early in the day to state that I was staying at the other yard and explained why, and as I got no response to said text, I assumed you, like a sane person, understood. Especially given that you saw how much of a plonker my horse was about getting on the trailer. Why would I put myself (and the horse) through that more than absolutely necessary? That aside, normal people at normal barns go to multiday clinics, multiday shows. My horse has her own water, her own feed bucket, she’s not cuddling up to anyone (ever, at any barn, including the one she lives at). Sheesh.

Still, weak in comparison to J’s barn lunacy.

[Sleipnir]

Don’t even try to attempt micromanaging how much time I spend with my horse by telling me that if I spend more than 3 hours a day with him, he will become “wild” and “dangerous”…say whaaaat?

[kittykeno]

Please stop smoking in the barn and please stop your employees from smoking in the barn. Yes…really, reported twice. Left that place…I just figured you could not fix stupid.

[spotted_draft_x_fill]

Another thread just reminded me of this. Please for the love of god, do not open the gate to let my kids ride the horses out in the field with the other horses. They’re learning to ride and they’re doing just fine in the small paddock.

[luna17]

Do. Not. Leave. Open METAL piping in the fields for my gelding to stick his foot in and rip through his tendon.

OH! Number two. When you put down an EPM horse, TELL THE BOARDERS that you A) left body where horses could access it, B) didn’t take care of the cause, possums, and C) that the horse had EPM. Then, when we leave on vacation and come back to my 26 year old FALLING OVER in classic EPM symptoms, please call us BEFORE we come back. Yeah, that’d be nice. The gelding had to go to the emergeny vet clinic for a month, he came home, slightly out of the woods, you let him out with a bunch of rowdy horses when the poor boy can’t walk quite right. Vets said if they caught it that week earlier, he might have had a better shot. He did have a brain tumor on top of the EPM but the tumor was manageable!

[Vindicated]

Now, I have to ask.
Looking back, you noticed that there were other warning signs-right?