Spirit- Preliminary Necropsy Findings Update

[carman_liz]

Thank you, you are all just so amazingly supportive and I love this hive so much. I still hate this, I feel numb or in shock, then I walk by his feed cans in the mudroom and I break again…everytime I close my eyes I just see him and my mind wont stop racing…I even hate letting my dog out now bc Spirit would always nicker at me from the field and now it is so silent outside…everytime I realize it would be time to walk out to feed him and spend time with him…it just kills me inside. Calling smartpak to cancel his supplements was awful, Im surprised the woman was able to understand what I was saying, and I havent gone this long without sleep since my early 20s or when my daughter was a baby.

I’m just so thankful for the short 15 yrs I had with him, most ppl wouldn’t have kept him past 15 hrs, with all his foal issues alone. My amazing best friend, who has been there for me from his birth at her place, she has just helped me so much with him, my mare who is buried at her farm, she trailered spirit down to UT, offered to trailer him back to bury if I wanted at her place after he was gone and the necropsy was done…just so much in my life…I cannot explain how much I would be lost without her.

They will be doing the necropsy tomorrow so hopefully I will have more answers and I for sure will update with every detail, I want to know but at the same time if it was something small at first that I somehow overlooked or missed I will never forgive myself and I will have to live with that.

His ‘soul’ is being cremated and they do a hoofprint plate, that I promised my daughter she could have, or will get to have when I see it and decide how breakable it is…I will pick everything up next weekend. I don’t trust shipping companies with my boy. I also cut off his tail, forelock, and all of his gorgeously long mane so I can have lots of things made. I really want to find somewhere that makes dreamcatchers, then some jewelry and keychains, and the rest just to have.

[Horsecrazy3]

My condolences. You were a fantastic guardian to Spirit and Sweetie. We understand the grief and sorrow you and your daughter are experiencing. (((Hugs)))

[SusanO]

What a pretty boy! I hope you get some answers. He looks very well looked after in that photo.

[ShenanAnna]

The spirit remains. You’ll have him around you all your life, just not in physical form. You’ll feel it; you’ll know it.

[Jenerationx]

I’m so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself.

[PonyApocalypse19]

I was thinking of you the other day. I’m so sorry for your loss. I have hair and shoes from my recently passed first horse and I just haven’t been able to open the box to do anything with them yet. I do want to make a horse shoe macrame dream catcher with some of his tail hair, but I can’t bring myself to do it yet. He was PTS at the university a couple hours from my home and the cremation service was wonderful. We had a threat of severe snow storm once he was ready to come home and I asked them to wait to ship him to me - I didn’t want him stuck on a truck or lost in a warehouse. So I understand the reluctance to shipping.
Take it easy on yourself the next couple of weeks.

[carman_liz]

Vet from UT called about an hour ago. Spirit had a hole in his colon that was probably abcessed. There was feed matter in that area built up. They said there was nothing that could have been done for him other than saying goodbye. Still running other tests and cannot give me a real “why did it happen” answer yet, but at least now I know. He wasn’t violently thrashing or anything that would have made us think a colitis x or anything either just the sudden under 24hr bloating and fever and it happened so fast surgery couldn’t have saved him… so now I have some type of answer, and a little closure, not that it makes it any better.

[2DogsFarm]

In my experience, it does help to know the findings.
When I lost DH’s horse to a mysterious progressive lameness (NQR in October, had to put him down in February) vet college claimed to have lost the histopathology that would have possibly explained what happened.
12yrs later, same college was able to provide me with detailed info on the anaerobic hoof capsule infection that took my WB from suspected (& treated by vet) abcess to sloughing the hoof in the space of 4mos.

Hoping you can find Peace, knowing you did all you could.
{HUGS}

[ZuzusPetals]

@carman_liz, you did your very best. He knew you loved him. Take comfort in his name now more than ever.

[Alex_and_Bodie_s_Mom]

I’m with @2DogsFarm - I think it helps to know. At least now, you know that there was nothing you missed, nothing else you could have done differently; there’s no questions, no what-ifs.

Hugs to you. Sometimes, there truly is nothing we can do for them except let them go as peacefully as possible. That doesn’t make it hurt any less.

[PaddockWood]

He was so pretty and my God he was loved. He’s there with you. Know that. All our animals stay with us. Sure they may also be over the Rainbow Bridge but I fully believe their energy stays with us…when they are loved. I’m so sorry.

[carman_liz]

I swear its probably the semis from the highway near the house, but I swore I heard his whinny the other morning and my heart just leapt up for a second.

[Fiesta01]

So terribly sorry for your loss.

[2DogsFarm]

I “saw” both my horses (lost together in a trailer accident) in their stalls, as I sat in the empty, darkened barn, barncat on my lap.

Same for people I’ve lost, their energy stays around for a while. Never completely leaves.

[rubygirl1968]

(((hugs)))

[GoodTimes]

Hugs!

When I was 13 we had to euthanize my children’s hunter. He colicked on and off for several months, had him down at the University hospital twice. They couldn’t find anything other than the ulcers at the beginning which we were able to resolve.
A few months later we found a new horse. A big chestnut with a blaze, similar to the one we had to put down. I’ll never forget I was standing in the barn one day and my mom brought the new horse inside, I did a double take and almost broke down. For a split second I was sure it was him.

Edited to add that I’m in my 30’s now and that vision is still burned into my mind.

[cayuse]

I saw my beloved pony that I owned for 25 years at a horseshow. It was a show series that we had shown him at consistently for about 20 years and his favorite spot. He loved to show and would actually pull me to the ring to get to his halter class. About a month after we lost him to colic I was at this show series and I saw him at the backside of the ring he always showed in. It was a bizarre vision, but it was him. I wasn’t thinking of him at the time as I had my hands full with another pony, so I wasn’t influenced by a daydream or a memory. He was just suddenly there as full of life as ever. Still brings tears to my eyes remembering this.

[stryder]

I’m so sorry for your loss.

I nearly lost my mare several years ago when she developed peritonitis from undiagnosed ulcers. It presented as colic that did not respond to treatment. The vet kept looking. We tried everything, and ultimately was successful with a very unconventional treatment.

I think peritonitis is more common than we think.

[RMJacobs]

I saw my Hackney pony in the pasture and corral for years after he died. I’m sure it was just wishful thinking on my part. I would see him out of the corner of my eye, and when I’d turn to look directly, there was nothing there. It didn’t stop until I sold the property and moved.

Rebecca

[skydy]

Thinking of you @carman_liz {{{HUGS}}}