[QUOTE=jetsmom;7667336]
Maybe someone told her that her dearly departed husband was an ASS and that’s where the confusion was…[/QUOTE]
Okay, the first post was bad enough, but now you owe me a keyboard.
The donkey story wins so far.
Keep em coming…
East coast buyer flies to WI to try a gelding. She spends three days at sellers home because she really wants to get to know the horse. OK, great, all goes very well, buyer loves the horse. Horse is purchased and shipped back east. A couple of weeks go by, and buyer calls former owner to say that she was shipping the horse back and didn’t want her money back either. Seller is astonished and asks why? Buyer says the horse is great to ride and handle but isn’t happy living with her and she knows this because he poops in his water bucket.
[QUOTE=Unfforgettable;7669658]
East coast buyer flies to WI to try a gelding. She spends three days at sellers home because she really wants to get to know the horse. OK, great, all goes very well, buyer loves the horse. Horse is purchased and shipped back east. A couple of weeks go by, and buyer calls former owner to say that she was shipping the horse back and didn’t want her money back either. Seller is astonished and asks why? Buyer says the horse is great to ride and handle but isn’t happy living with her and she knows this because he poops in his water bucket.[/QUOTE]
That’s a good one, too!
I have two
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I was helping out a friend in AZ who had a nice little paint mare for sale. she was pretty flashy a nice enough horse but nothing fancy. She was asking $2500 for her. A woman from CO contacts me, had seen the mare advertised. Asked the standard questions via email- is she spooky, does she load on a trailer, is she good alone on trails. A few days later I get another email, with a whole bunch more questions- but just phrased slightly differently. What does she do on the trail when she sees something she doesn’t like? Does she have any problems loading? I answer those questions, trying to be patient. A few more days pass and I get another email- can you send me a video of someone riding her in the ring. Fair enough- she’s a state away. So we find a video camera (before the time where everything has a video) - and find a rider- etc. etc. send her video. A few days later, I gat another email, can you send a video of the horse backing up- going over a log, loading in a trailer, standing tied, picking up her feet, brushing her. Finally I say- no- I have been honest with you about the horse, I think at this point if you are interested you need to come down her and look at her. She writes back, fine, I’ll just buy her then. She wired the money the next day. More of an unbelievable PITA- than a crazytown buyer…
-
Not me, but stolen from another forum from a long time ago–seller had nice quality Andalusians. Woman contacts her about a horse for sale, they talk a few times, everything seems normal. Woman comes to look at the horse, and proceeds to tell the seller that she is buying Andalusians, because she wants to start breeding unicorns. 110% serious…she said they were direct decedents of the mythical creatures and she was certain that she could bring them back with proper breeding. Seller decided to pass on the sale. :lol:
Unicorns? I like the pup tent best so far.
This all reminds me why I have used an agent for the last 20 years.
And for those who think you loose the crazies when you start adding zeros to the price tag? Nah, they usually dress better and don’t show up in a hoopty POS, but just as crazy, maybe worse because nobody ever says no…and talk about know it alls…no thanks.
We breed and show registered Miniatures, and get the gamut of buyers…had one couple come out, wanted a few but never put a deposit on any. A few days later there is this strange woman wandering my fields! I came up and asked her who the hell she was and what was she doing??? Here she wanted to “warn” be about the people who’d been out earlier and that I shouldn’t sell them any horses because they didn’t feed them, or take good acre of them blah blah blah… first couple had shown me pix of their horses and they looked fine. Told second lady I’d take it into consideration and she left. Never saw either set again…
Last year I decided to sell my bigger mare. She is the sweetest thing, a gorgeous mover and I bet would make an awesome “pony” for a child. Had a lady call, explained she was only four, NOT saddle broke, never bitted. So she comes out and looks. Fancy is her sweet self, I lean all over her, rest my considerable weight on her back, she doesn’t care. Then I start getting the questions: is she saddle broke? Does she rein? Um, I told you that: NO. Then I get “well, my husband trains, so he show be able to break her. I think she could carry him for a while, he’s not that big…” Um, this mare is 37" tall. She can NOT carry an adult man. I start to get anxious… then I start: “Well, you know, you can find nice saddle broken ponies on CL for MUCH less than what I am asking for her” and I keep pushing the cheapo CL horses. She decided to discuss this with her hubby, and I never saw her again. (I would have told them she was not available had they called back anyway…) In the end, I sold her to a friend, missed her so much that I traded a gelding for her and got her back.
[QUOTE=gloriginger;7669862]
- Not me, but stolen from another forum from a long time ago–seller had nice quality Andalusians. Woman contacts her about a horse for sale, they talk a few times, everything seems normal. Woman comes to look at the horse, and proceeds to tell the seller that she is buying Andalusians, because she wants to start breeding unicorns. 110% serious…she said they were direct decedents of the mythical creatures and she was certain that she could bring them back with proper breeding. Seller decided to pass on the sale. :lol:[/QUOTE]
Oh I wonder if it was this woman (I had forgotten about her, I had to dig the email out of my archives):
I’ll tell you what I’m looking for, and that might help. She looks good!
First off, Arabians, Andalusians and Lippizans are direct line relatives of the Unicorns of about 50,000 years ago. All three of them have black babies that gray with age, eventually to white. I was the woman responsible for them loosing their horns. I was a genetic engineer in Atlantean times, for humans and horses. So you might say I was responsible for the breed horse. They use to be Unicorns.
Now I want to bring back the breed to this planet. In effect, make Unicorns again. Andalusians are still throwing out foals with small horns when born. They fall off. So they are the closest.
But I have a Unicorn stallion coming to this planet, and I’m going to breed him to the mares that I find here. His name is Tonsa. They aren’t extinct on other planets. And I have relatives who have kept them going so they can come back here.
THAT is why I picked out Shadow, to be one of the mares to start the Unicorns again. SHE IS PERFECT. So you name your price, and I’ll get it. I’ll go up to $100,000 for her. But this other one you have shown me is good also. What is her breeding? Tamier is beautiful as well.
How about we consider co-owning Shadow? I can send you sperm for her, and she can kick out the babies where she is. Oh, also, if I take her up to the starship, she can get rejuvenated, so that she is physically young again. That would make her live longer. Contrary to popular opinion these days, Unicorns are NOT inheritantly immortal. They live the normal 20 - 35 years that horses do, unless they are rejuvenated, as they were done in Atlantean times.
What is going to happen is this. They Genetisists on the starship are going to help me make these mares Unicorns again, but injecting them with DNA from their relatives, the Current Unicorns. By doing this, within a month, they should have their DNA back intact and start growing a horn again. The DNA is easier to replace than it is to remove. So they tell me. Do you want Shadow to be in the program? You can keep her there. Think about it.
It takes two weeks of injections, then it takes hold and they are Unicorns again.
Up to $100,000 for a mare whose breeding she does not know yet? Well, obviously she is holding on to patent technology for interstellar travel, so money would not be an issue.
Based on the word “Genetisists”, neither is a dictionary.
Well, crap. Now I want a Unicorn…
Wow. That takes the biscuit. Cowgirljenn, was that a real email you got from someone about a horse you had for sale?? You can’t make this sh ** t up. Oy.
It does remind me… When I was trying to sell the young horse described in my previous post (while I was still in the country), I got an email from someone saying that the horse was a part of their animal soul, and they were looking for the horse that would match the horse part of their soul. They thought my gelding was it. I didn’t answer the email.
Unicorns are not born black and gray out. They are born gold, then turn silver and finally pure white about 5 years of age. So says Hagrid, Professor of Care of Magical Creatures. So that woman was absolutely wrong.
[QUOTE=Unfforgettable;7669658]
Buyer says the horse is great to ride and handle but isn’t happy living with her and she knows this because he poops in his water bucket.[/QUOTE]
Yeah well I’d have buyer’s remorse if I bought a bucket pooper too 
cowgirljenn’s unicorns for the win!
I don’t have anything crazy but in the “I wonder what she was thinking?” category…
My trainer was selling a client’s YR dressage horse. He was a big warmblood, confirmed to Int. I, had a long list of good show results, priced in the mid-5 figures.
Amateur woman rider shows up, seems a bit timid for someone looking for an FEI horse, but whatever. Our trainer hops on, shows all the tricks, and then hands him off to the prospective buyer.
Who mounted, walked away down the longside, and RAN HIM INTO THE WALL.
She was looking for an FEI horse and she LITERALLY COULD NOT STEER. AT THE WALK.
Poor horse just stood there with his face pressed into the wall, finally backed away like 2 steps, and looked back to where we were standing by the mounting block like, “Um, what do I do now?”
He was a complete saint, but of course the prospective buyer decided he was “too complicated.” Based on the riding skills I saw, pretty much any horse with a pulse would have qualified as “too complicated” for her. Why she was looking for a $50K FEI horse baffles me to this day. I often wonder if she’s still riding and if she’s learned to steer yet. :lol:
Not a crazy buyer story just an ass.
Trainer calls and says he has a client that wants to try one of the sales horses at the barn I used to work at. My boss and trainer agree to let rider try the horse at the next horse show. The rider gets on and all goes smooth on the flat but then when it comes to jumping, rider goes all willy nilly and crashes through a couple of jumps (think of that Russian girl in the pink coat at WEF except that this rider couldn’t keep themselves together over a single jump)
Of course rider gets off and is all pissed off and bitches to his trainer about the “dumb horse” and of course it’s not ANY of his fault (this horse has been showing consistently and doing well at 1.20 but, no he can’t jump :rolleyes: ) Complete and total lack of horsemanship. Remember people, money can buy you all the fancy things you desire, but it will never buy you class and tact!
Trainer was embarrassed but this was a big $$$ client so not much he could really do.
[QUOTE=cowgirljenn;7670611]
Oh I wonder if it was this woman (I had forgotten about her, I had to dig the email out of my archives):
I’ll tell you what I’m looking for, and that might help. She looks good!
First off, Arabians, Andalusians and Lippizans are direct line relatives of the Unicorns of about 50,000 years ago. All three of them have black babies that gray with age, eventually to white. I was the woman responsible for them loosing their horns. I was a genetic engineer in Atlantean times, for humans and horses. So you might say I was responsible for the breed horse. They use to be Unicorns.
Now I want to bring back the breed to this planet. In effect, make Unicorns again. Andalusians are still throwing out foals with small horns when born. They fall off. So they are the closest.
But I have a Unicorn stallion coming to this planet, and I’m going to breed him to the mares that I find here. His name is Tonsa. They aren’t extinct on other planets. And I have relatives who have kept them going so they can come back here.
THAT is why I picked out Shadow, to be one of the mares to start the Unicorns again. SHE IS PERFECT. So you name your price, and I’ll get it. I’ll go up to $100,000 for her. But this other one you have shown me is good also. What is her breeding? Tamier is beautiful as well.
How about we consider co-owning Shadow? I can send you sperm for her, and she can kick out the babies where she is. Oh, also, if I take her up to the starship, she can get rejuvenated, so that she is physically young again. That would make her live longer. Contrary to popular opinion these days, Unicorns are NOT inheritantly immortal. They live the normal 20 - 35 years that horses do, unless they are rejuvenated, as they were done in Atlantean times.
What is going to happen is this. They Genetisists on the starship are going to help me make these mares Unicorns again, but injecting them with DNA from their relatives, the Current Unicorns. By doing this, within a month, they should have their DNA back intact and start growing a horn again. The DNA is easier to replace than it is to remove. So they tell me. Do you want Shadow to be in the program? You can keep her there. Think about it.
It takes two weeks of injections, then it takes hold and they are Unicorns again.[/QUOTE]
:eek: Her delusional structure is unusually coherent, so perhaps she is one of those quietly psychotic but marginally functional individuals.
[QUOTE=californianinkansas;7671303]
:eek: Her delusional structure is unusually coherent, so perhaps she is one of those quietly psychotic but marginally functional individuals.[/QUOTE]
Hmmmm… now my horse is a Foundation Appy/Arabian cross. Foundation Appaloosas are, unlike a preponderance of so-called “modern” Appaloosas, more closely related to Iberian horses than TB/QH, etc. So, together with his Arabian half, does that mean that my horse is a unicorn in waiting (were he not a gelding?) ROFLOLPIMP
[QUOTE=Sandy M;7671319]
Hmmmm… now my horse is a Foundation Appy/Arabian cross. Foundation Appaloosas are, unlike a preponderance of so-called “modern” Appaloosas, more closely related to Iberian horses than TB/QH, etc. So, together with his Arabian half, does that mean that my horse is a unicorn in waiting (were he not a gelding?) ROFLOLPIMP[/QUOTE]
There’s always cloning. Maybe some of the Monsanto scientists could help you to isolate the unicorn DNA and get you a unicornized version of your gelding.
Is it weird that I’m sitting here wondering if the trouble to bridle a unicorn would even be worth it? And shoeing those cloven hooves… Nah, I’m confidant you would be expected to keep them barefooted.
