Oh man. I put down my 29 year old gelding in January, after owning him since he was 9. There’s some song that plays on the radio, a pop song, but it’s sad, and about losing a loved one. More than once I’ve come home all red-eyed and blubbering because they played it on my drive home, and had to explain to the SO that something reminded me of the horse and I’m just ugly-crying sad all over again.
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I will only add that it’s not always about age. My chestnut gelding was euthanized at 11, because of a number of issues that each might have been manageable on their own, but together were like a stack of dominoes leading to him being chronically uncomfortable and getting worse.
My current guy is 22 and sounder and happier than the 11 year old ever was. I hope he has another 10 years in him but if he doesn’t, I hope we get the chance to err on the side of too early, rather than realizing it’s too late.
I also have a 16 and 13 yo dog in my house currently, so we are always watching and evaluating.
It’s our responsibility as animal custodians to make sure they have no bad days, or at least as few as possible.
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I hear you. I had just done the right thing and the first song that came on the radio was “Don’t you forget about me.” My condolences to all in this difficult decision.
I’m very sorry to bump a month old thread, but I wanted to thank everyone here for their thoughtful responses. I have two senior mares here that I’ve been waffling back and forth on their futures. One is a 27 year old Standardbred who is my entire heart and soul. She has always been a hard keeper, but the last few years, she has just had a harder time thriving. This summer, she spent the entire time being rotated between great pastures, but didn’t put on the amount of weight she normally does. Despite getting additional feed and supplements, she’s just not thriving. Last winter, she struggled a bit with the Alberta temperatures and spent time indoors to avoid the worst of it. I don’t want to put her through another cold winter, even though she’s technically healthy.
Her best friend is a 29 year old Quarter Horse who is doing much better. Aside from some arthritis in her shoulder, she is thriving, chubby and quite happy. But I worry about her when her best friend leaves. They have been together for over a decade. I’ve introduced other mares into their little herd to see if my Quarter Horse will potentially bond with another horse, but all she wants is her best friend.
Am I wrong to consider putting the two of them down together, I’ve wondered. I don’t want my Quarter Horse to become depressed and pine, but she’s also extraordinarily healthy and sound for her age. It’s been a huge weight on my mind, but this thread has really helped calm my brain and help me realize that it’s not wrong to euthanize “too soon” if it’s for the benefit of the animal. They don’t have a concept of the future, they just know what’s happening now.
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If you are really thinking about putting down the standard bred, which it sound like you have thought this thru. (Not that you need to justify your decision to anyone ever!!) What if you moved a horse or two in with them for the time being, even if they don’t ‘bond’, as long as they are not beating each other up, it still counts as progress, then when/if you do put the standard bred down, your qh will at least be used to the other horses with her. It may take the SB being gone for her to bond with others.
Of course if you feel putting them both down together is a better decision that is totally up to you, but if you want the qh around for longer, let her get used to a couple other horses in the same field and see if she bonds with them after the other one is gone. They are herd animals, my guess is she adopts a new friend within a week if/when the SB goes. Good luck I know how hard of a decision this must be for you, jingles and hugs!!!
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I don’t think it would be wrong but I do believe that if you have another horse on the property when her best friend is gone she will find comfort in that . They may never be bonded but they will find comfort in having the other near.
Most horses do far better than we expect when they lose a herd member. Once the other horse is gone they do carry on.
I would worry more about you with putting them both down. Especially one that is doing so well.
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When I put down my 31 year old mare, I worried that my younger mare (Jamila)would take it very hard as she was very bonded to my old girl. She handled it way better than I expected and didn’t pine near as much as I expected. Maybe having another horse here helped?
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Thanks, all. We do have other horses on the property - 9 currently, but will be 10 when my weanling comes home in the next few weeks. I’ve been bouncing the two seniors in between a couple different herds to see where they fit in the best and where my QH will have the best chance of finding a new best friend.
Given that my oldies are 27 and 29, I’ve kind of been bracing myself for the inevitable for the last couple years and every year, I’m surprised that they seem to do okay. That Standardbred needs more advanced care to get through winter and the QH sometimes drops some weight, but this is the first year I’ll have them at home and I’ll be able to care for them even more than I used to in a boarding situation. Last year was tough for the oldies - we hit -50*C sometimes and they had a hard time even with multiple blankets. We won’t be burying them on our property so there’s less planning to do if they decide they’re ready when it’s the middle of winter.
I guess right now, my course of action will be to continue feeding them up and getting as much weight on them before winter and take it day by day and see what they tell me they want. They’re notoriously picky about supplemental feeding, but I think I’ve finally found a winner with soaked beet pulp + Step CR ProFibre Crunch complete feed + Purina Pur Athlete and all the hay they can eat. They actually clean their bowls up every feeding, which is unheard of for them.
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I had a pair that had been together over 10 years. They were bonded, but not equally. I always said if the mare went first, I’d have to put the gelding down then and there and put them in the same hole because he would go nuts without her. He ended up going first (euth due to colic), and she mourned a little, but was okay (this was a mare who got over weaning in about a minute). But she ended up being euthed for colic two months later. He was 25, she was 24.
I am keeping a close eye on my 29-year-old.
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Having addressed this very issue myself a few years ago I will say, at the risk of anthropomorphizing, one needed to go down, the other, not quite as serious but soon, raised from babies together for 14 years,
To quote someone upthread: Horses have no sense of time or potential, but they absolutely do feel pain and fear. So to prevent the loneliness one would feel maybe it was a bit, tiny bit early but she did not experience a lonely sad day calling for her friend. Heartbreak day for me. Still can feel that day, tell you the exact time.
I would rather wonder if I was a day too soon than know I was a day too late.
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And that’s kind of my thought. I know horses will usually move on and handle things stoically, but I also know just how bonded these two are and that’s the only reason it’s crossed my mind to let them go at the same time, so neither ever knows that fear or uncertainty of where their friend is. If it was the other way around, I wouldn’t worry so much - my Standardbred is beyond aloof and I’m actually quite surprised she tolerates how close a friendship the Quarter Horse demands. This is a mare who, for the first 15 years of her life, mostly ignored every other animal and person. But she tolerates her clingy Quarter Horse friend to the point where I think she actually likes her too. Or at the least, depends on her to scratch the itchy spots she can’t reach anymore.
I’ve made a habit of taking in elderly, sick or rescue animals and I truly feel this will be a hard winter for me for loss. In addition to the two elderly horses, I have a 30 year old donkey. I’m sure she’ll live forever just to spite me though. I also have a 15 year old dog and two older hedgehogs, one of which was given a month to live back in 2020 from cancer. I went into palliative care mode and he made a very surprising turnaround. But I know his time is coming - he’s already 5 years old and hedgehogs don’t normally live past 3-4. I take in the old and sick and unwanted and give them a safe place to be and it’s never easy on the heart when they choose to leave, but after having to make the call over a dozen times in the last handful of years… I know I’m not used to it, but I’ve come to see it as part of the experience of animals. I take comfort in knowing they don’t cross over alone and I think that’s the only thing that saves me.
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That is so sweet of you to take them in knowing they’re in their senior years! My mare was bff’s with another senior mare, bonded together, ate together, shared feed buckets sometimes, everything together. She actually stood next to my mare while my mare’s head was in my lap, with her owners who happen to be my best friends next to me, when my mare was pts. She handled it really well though, had another mare with her that week to keep her company, and now has the paddock area to herself living her best old lady mare life, so they do adapt and move on after their buddy is gone if they have other horses to help them thru the first couple weeks and process everything.
I have had my friend’s senior live out his retirement and pass at my house, two dogs pts and buried at my place after living way past their life expectancy, and I just took in a mid 20’s mare that hopefully has at least a few years left in her. My son came home Sunday to drop off laundry and when I told him about the mare he goes “yep, this is where animals come to die…my mom’s house”… little shi%t head that he is lol… he meant it in the best way though, just had to phrase it like a jerkface. It’s nice to know there are others out there that take them in knowing their place is where they come to be loved thru their last years and pass peacefully.
Huge jingles and hugs to you and your huge heart!!!
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Pairing the weanling with the older QH was my initial plan, but now my Standardbred is starting to turn around now that she’s decided to like her new feeding regime. So maybe the weanling will have two nannies.
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Decades ago our now-retired vet started letting other horses sniff the body. They can leave when they are ready. No humans involved.
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Elephants do that in the wild. Stay by the body, sniff it and I saw a nature show where they would rub their trunks on the body almost like saying goodbye, and then leave the area when they are ready to move on.
Thank you everyone for this thread. I shared it with a friend who was having a hard time deciding what to do. Her horse looked amazing from a distance…but was falling apart. She let him go on a beautiful fall day, before cold winter set in, and he did not have many bad days. He was my old horse’s best friend, and it is hard to have them gone, but I am so glad we can do the right thing for them. Thank you.
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