I feel you. Your ego has taken a hit.
Don’t let it phase you. There is so much to learn. You have learned so much. You will keep learning.
Yes it is much easier to have a horse come when it is called, rather than try to trick them into being caught.
I suggest reading John Chatterton 10 commandments before you get the project horse.
@SuzieQNutter oh yes, it was a total knock down, especially when I was just going off the message that was sent, because I have the ability to make worse case scenarios out of everything.
My worst fear is this is stuff that I have “lost” with age, it’s kind of reassuring to be told that she believes it’s a whole skill set and point of view I have never been taught. Still deflating, but hey we never stop learning right?
One thing I worry about with NH types is that most of them seem to have exact standards for how a person works with their horses. So if an “outsider” screws up one little thing, they are criticized to no end. I wouldn’t try to work with someone that hard-core.
It is only the good riders who worry about that.
Hubby was very upset when I knocked his ego and told him Sim was running. He needed to do this this and that.
He told me at the time it was very upsetting, but when he did what I said he was so happy he had learned it and could now do it.
Good horsemanship is Good horsemanship from wherever it comes from.
KBC has been riding their horse and has come ahead in leaps and bounds. It is obviously a well trained horse.
Most of the bad NH training don’t seem to ride.
If you are riding someone else’s horse you learn their ways and do not do your own training. If they want you to catch their horse standing on your head, singing the Star Spangled Banner, as long as you can physically do that, that is the way you catch it. As long as no cruelty is involved.
Your horse on your property you can train anyway you like. You take the training you learn from other people, and add it or dismiss it, from your training at home.
You learn everyday, even if you learn what you would never do in the future.
I think you have a fantastic attitude about all this, and you’ll work through it fine.
I keep forgetting to ask–please tell me about your westerns style helmet. I really like it.
This isn’t a NH trainer by any means, but she does have her own way of doing things, which is different to my way. It’s her horse, and she will be competing on him this year as well, so I don’t want to screw him up!
Ok, sorry I misunderstood. But I agree that sharing a competition horse isn’t easy.
It’s a Hell Hat, the second I have made. The safety bit is my lovely comfortable One K Helmet. The brim was donated from a straw Western Hat that belonged to my son. He doesn’t know yet, but hey, he hadn’t worn the hat for many’s the year 
I would take this as a complement rather than a slight. There are real nuances to ground handling horses and it can be fascinating. When catching a horse it even matters which hand you carry the halter in, for example. And the ride starts when you halter your horse. You will feel a difference. Your trainer may have been gruff but she sees potential in you.
Wow, that sucks. I wonder why she waited till you were away on vacation and then waited till you were back home to pounce on you the minute you’re back in town.
The mature and professional thing would have been for her to have had this conversation with you during or right at the end of a lesson, where you’re there, face to face with her.
She sounds like a coward to me and I am very sorry she’s made you sick at your stomach and got you so ready to quit, when you’ve been doing so well.
Oh, I feel ya’, sister!
Nearing the end of my 60’s, I made the questionable decision to take up riding on the Paint and AQHA circuit after decades of showing, winning and judging hunters and equitation. Learning to ride western for the show pen has been a mix of feeling humiliated, infuriated and joyous… sometimes at the same show or in the same lesson. I’ve been told that I’m “such a pretty rider” and also that I look like “a fish out of water” in western tack. My ego is often on life support. (Don’t ask how many times I’ve cried in the sanctuary of my pickup truck).
The only way I’ve come to reconcile this is to accept that what I accomplished in the past as an equestrian is not being taken away from me. Instead, this is something new. Entirely new, other than the fact that I’m sitting astride a horse.
We are on a journey through life. And I suppose any steps we take with a horse by our side or beneath us is better than going it alone, right? Hang in there, and embrace the new experiences. I’m with you, all the way! 
It will be cool to hear what you’ve learned from his owner in the coming weeks and months, @KBC. There is always more to learn and you’ll thrive with this new understanding.
Now I have reached calm waters in my brain, I can understand this.
Why did she wait until I was away? Because I have done the majority of the riding/handling over the last year, and 6 weeks of having her horse back highlighted behaviour that I have allowed happen. Nothing ‘bad’ but still unacceptable for her.
Why pounce when I am back, because she wanted to step in before I came out and wanted to work with him.
Why by message? Well probably worked best for me, I am a thinker and a processor, so dropping that on me, I wouldn’t have been able to cope very well.
We have had the chat face to face, I get where she is coming from, especially as she wants to ride him this year as well. I am still worried about the sharing option, but there is a reason I chose to get this inked on me, so now I need to live it.
Well, this has been a week!
Had a lesson on Braam on Thursday, and “Oh My” so obvious that he has been ridden by someone else for a month, he is sharper, more responsive, and a couple of subtle changes in my position meant that we rode the best test we have ever done!
Friday spent the day shadowing and doing ground work with a cute little Arab, and it was very revealing. Yes this is probably stuff we should all know, but it’s kind of new to me.
Some of it is very contrary to my training, letting a horse make a mistake, and then wait for him to fix it, rather than stopping him making the mistake.
Some of it, just so flaming obvious, really looking and reading what a horse is telling you.
I think anyone who has had someone else riding their horse for a while, particularly if its a horse they know well, has got the horse back and gone “hmmm!” We all do things differently, and there are things other totally competent riders do that truly grate on me, (leaving halters attached to cross ties, for instance, or not running up stirrups as soon as you get off,) and things that I consider deal breaker important that other riders do not care about. (Standing like a rock at the mounting block springs to mind.)
At which point you have three choices: Accept the situation, fire the rider, or value the rider enough to teach them your way of doing things, because your horse, your rules.
Feel valued!
A wonderful update.
I let hubby cool down Stars one day.
I asked what he thought.
He is so responsive. He does things so quickly.
Dodge and Sim respond that quickly to me as well. You need to step up and have them respond as quickly as Stars.
Oh I feel valued now, for all sorts of reasons. Yesterday went out to catch Braam for a lesson, and the little Arab came walking over, I held out the halter and he dropped his nose into it. A love a vote that says “I liked spending time with you, can we do it again?”
Things are up and down here, my mental health isn’t as good as it should be, which is worrying, but at the same time my favourite “this time of year” phrase is “Fruitbat February” because it is usually my lowest month. Also questionng so many things about my current situation, just trying to get through and hope it all gets better.
I did have an awesome lesson this week, it went so well, really enjoyed it, even though it was cold enough to make Braam end up with snotcicles.
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