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The stories of the “unhorsed” Sokath his (well her) eyes uncovered! The road to the CNC

Nobody can accuse me of being quick on the uptake, I process slow, but I get there eventually.

Some of you followed my thread on my last horse I have found my happy again...it’s AWESOME.....the roller coaster rolls on, and it fell off the rails! I sold my happy!

Others will have seen me post about my lease horse Braam, and the fun I’m having, well I got to ride him the other day, without anyone around, been lessons and clinics and play days up until now, but this time, no one around, I could concentrate on just me and him, and dug into my soul and found out a few things.

First, if you have any reservations about a physical match up with your horse, in my case simply being too big, the weight of that adds to the weight yiu are asking him to carry. Weird I know, but it’s difficult to relax and just enjoy, when you are second guessing every step. I have no reservations about Braam, I feel I can ask him to do anything, without having to worry, rode him for 4 hours last weekend, with a couple of breaks, it was great.

I will always be grateful that I had Mellow in my life, I did learn a lot from him, and taught him a lot as well, it was fun. BUT oh the joy of riding a horse with all the buttons :grinning: I used to think it would be boring, or cheating in someway, but now I discover that although he had everything installed, nothing is labelled, you have to push the buttons in the right order, or strange things happen! It will take a while before we are totally on the same page, but getting better every ride.

Now, kind of the big one, he’s a big horse, so when we are in the Ease of Handling, for Working Equitation, I can take as much space as we need, be flamboyant, as long as we are accurate, show the horse off. It’s been said to me so often before in dressage, “ride so the judge wants your horse” NOW I get that as well, he makes me feel competent, and happy, so I need to ride that centre line thinking “look at us, aren’t you jealous” rather than thinking about the test…that comes second.

Lol, I just feel so FREE, on a horse that feels safe, but forward, talented, but not simple, and just physically feels like a match…jeez I hope this feeling stays.


I hope it stays for you, too. And I believe it will. You get so much joy out of your riding, and with your time around horses, that it makes me smile every time I read your updates.


KBC and Braam, their hearts dancing.


Isn’t it a wonderful feeling when you and your horse are a perfect match?!! The best! Keep on riding, KBC. You and Braam are a lovely pair!


Beautiful animal! Enjoy!!

There is this thing called suitability, and you two are a well-matched, harmonious pair. Enjoy!!!

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It truly is, a horse that matches the NOW, physically, ability wise, and all that stuff.


I did things “right” when I started my horse owning journey. My first horse was an older trail horse I could ride anywhere, alone or in company. My second horse was a green broke three year old and I trained him up to do everything I knew, and then felt a bit bored.

I learned more, and did new stuff with my second horse, and then I bought my third horse as a foal only a few days old. I’ve had that horse for twenty five years and never been bored.

When you get right up there you discover there is a variable response to the “buttons” and there’s always more/better possible. And then you have the rides where you’re so connected and with your horse, and everything comes effortlessly… and you’re never bored when that happens.

Enjoy Braam.


Is the title of this post derived from the book, A Thousand Nights. by EK Johnston?

Nope an episode of Star Trek, Darmok.


KBC!! This photo!! You both are glowing!!

I love “lurking” on your posts. I sometimes feel out of place in the horse world as someone who doesn’t really have an interest in competing or showing (I know you might not relate there, and this isn’t a weird thing on COTH… just my experience from primarily being in eventing/dressage barns.) I’m also plus-size and wonder whether I even have a “right” to ride if I’m not a skinny little twig.

But your posts are always about the pure joy of riding and horsemanship. It’s about having fun and doing right by the animal. I hope one day I can get back in the riding game with your journey in mind!


Well here’s one for you, I cried while riding the other day, tears of pure joy.

I was working the gate at the far end of the arena, when someone came in at the top end. Finished the gate, turn on haunches, straight into a beautiful lope, to go and talk to the person. I felt so young! Back to the days you would choose to lope at any excuse.

Now my various personalities are at war, one wants some video of the “new” me. The others are saying, “ohhh don’t do that, you just know it won’t look as good as it feels”

I’ll just cherish the moments of my coach watching me do my test at the play day going “NICE” so many times. :grinning:


I’m so happy for you. ^^^that is why we ride. And there is nothing like it.

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I made this for our barn owner at her request, it totally applied to me when we were having so many financial issues, that led to the tough decision to sell Mellow, I was bringing that stress with me, and asking him to carry it.

Now I feel I am riding so free, and it shows, having a blast


So coach decided that we should move up to L2, in WE, meaning loping in dressage, between obstacles in the EOH and entering the speed round…I was intending working toward it for the fall show, but last weekend there I was doing it already.

I won’t lie, it was a painful process in the run up, my nice laid back coach turned into some kind of she devil, to the extent that I was in tears. We had a good chat, I wasn’t upset at being pushed, because I want so badly to ride Braam in a way to show him off properly, but frustrated with myself because I didn’t have the courage to say “I don’t understand” or “could we try this another way”

So Thursday, lesson, tears.

Friday clinic, great fun, got pushed, got better. Biggest happening, just as we were going into the ring, someone turned up with a baby stroller, Braam thought obviously this is some kind of death device, made to kill big black horses…he was leaving the scene, but carefully, coach explained later, he is such a coward, he’s taking you along to protect him :rofl: I worked him in, had just got him engaged and brave enough to work up by where she was parked, when she put up a sunshade……!

Saturday, dressage, no great expectations, scored 55 which was fair, BUT there were moments of beautiful harmony.

Sunday, Ease of Handling, we LIKE EOH, came 3rd in the class, would have come second, if I hadn’t of fumbled the gate rope and dropped it. Speed round was a total blast, even though we were 3rd slowest🤣 that will come…but it was FUN.


Ha ha ha ha

Wonderful to hear and see you doing so good


That looks like so much fun!! I’ll say it again- you two look sharp together. Keep moving up, ask those questions, trust but verify, and share pictures with us. As many of us are “women of a certain age”, we aren’t the svelte figures we once were. But we are riding! Doing hard, demanding things on horseback! I’ve cried those happy tears, too. Way to go, Kath!!!


Still need to update with show photos, have chosen them, just need to generate cash to purchase the ones I want.

Yesterday was also revealing, I went on a trail ride…for most a non statement, for me still a “thing”

I went on a trail ride on a horse I don’t know, and was a heck of a lot more comfortable than I was the last time I rode out, and that was on my own horse. Seems that some where along the course of the day I said I would ride him in the local show this week…no idea where that came from.

So getting braver, and having more fun, not owning is still a blast.

Love the pic of me on him, because I was struggling with the sun, wished I had remembered to take my sunglasses with me! Yeah, I know, when you see it you’ll groan as well.


I had a great lesson today, culminating in my trainer saying to the group “how do we know if a rider is balanced?”

Answer, as she walked over and shoved her hand in between my cinch and Braam “KBC is so uncomfortable if she is off balance, she makes damn sure she is in balance the whole time.” :rofl:

Finally got the official pics from the shows love these.


Love that last one! So much joy :slight_smile: