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Theft

EE, from your posts it appeared to me that you were not considering that a boarder would have been responsible for the removal of the envelope, you were directing your accusation to the barn owner and staff, so Posting Trot’s reply makes sense and I agree with it.

As for snark, I understand your frustration when people on a forum challenge things that you write, but you must expect that we are replying to the information that you give us.

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Ok but it might as well have been. What else do people typically put in envelopes in a barn setting? If I saw that I’d assume there’s money in there.

I don’t agree with the nastiness or the mocking you’re getting. I don’t think you’re an idiot, I think it was a mistake and it could have easily been me doing the same thing. Some of the posters that have been poking fun and being jerks are like that with everyone and they have a reputation for being well known CotH bullies. I’m very sorry if it seemed like I was piling on because that’s not my intention. I just don’t agree that this is the barn owners fault and I really think blaming and accusing other people would be a poor idea. Good luck.

Yep, I really didn’t like this bit and was admittedly a little offended by it.

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I believe the saying is “if you meet an a-hole one day, then you met an a-hole. But if one day everyone you meet is an a-hole, the a-hole is actually you.”

By that logic, if you post a question and 95% of the responses are “you were in the wrong”…

It was an expensive lesson. File it away and let it go.

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Yea but there were a few people here just mocking the OP and being mean. I say that as someone who didn’t agree with her about who’s at fault and I was offended at the implication that a worker must’ve taken it because it’s a gated community because it felt classist.

I just don’t agree with the poking fun at someone and mocking them because you think they’re wrong… but that’s what people do here and that’s why this place has such a bad reputation.

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No one is mocking. The OP came here looking for validation, did not get it, and is pissed. Not my problem.

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I see one responder who I feel came in hot unecessarily.

The OP’s replies are, in my view, what’s encouraged those types of responses. This whole thread smacks of arrogance. It’s a bit pot meet kettle to get royally bent out of shape about $100 to the point of bringing up litigation against some unknown offender and then get lit up when people point out how their words imply certain beliefs that are offensive.

Is it a bummer? Yes. Does anyone know what happened for sure? No, and it’s unlikely anyone ever will, which is why even when something is the norm - as many have pointed out on this thread that they have done and would do the same as the OP did - caution should be exercised whenever possible.

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Yea I know which responder you’re talking about and she’s just like that always. She just kicks people while they’re down and is consistently toxic on here.

It’s one thing for the chorus to say “hey you’re wrong.”

It’s another thing for one person to say “hey youre wrong and you’re such an idiot for believing what you believe and HAHA let’s all laugh at how dumb you are!!”

The latter is what she does.

But I’ll agree the OP is no saint and as I’ve said I was offended at that tone too. I just also understand how much it sucks to have something stollen in what you thought was a safe place and some times that anger and frustration makes people act a little unreasonable.

Just my two cents. OP is wrong, no need to be a jerk about it though.

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If “clipped notes are the way things are communicated” (weird) then I would imagine that someone probably saw a note for Johnny or whatever, took it off the door, and put it in the barn office not knowing it wasn’t meant for staff. It is probably sitting in a pile somewhere. That would be a fair assumption given that is how communications are apparently done at this barn.

In the future a fair suggestion would be to not leave something meant for a service provider in a place where messages are normally meant for staff.

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really? I gotta say compared to Reddit or FB CoTH is downright warm and fuzzy. Some prickly moments to be sure, but most of it goes both ways. If someone has a snarky response, you can always choose to not reply or ignore.

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I’ve always heard that coth had a reputation for mostly older crowd being just mean girls. I’ve always heard the doxxing is also a pretty big issue here and from what I’ve observed and experienced that’s accurate.

Reddit however I think is actually a little too warm and fuzzy. There’s constantly posts there with people doing downright abusive shit and all of the comments are like “omg your horse is soooo cuteee!! :heart_eyes:” In fairness the crowd there is younger, less experienced, and just doesn’t know as much as the crowd here does. Personally, if I’m looking for support or just want to share a cute photo or story, I’ll go to reddit. If I want advice, I’ll come to coth.

Facebook I don’t touch with a 30 foot pole.

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The advice on COTH horse pages ranges IMHO from solid professional experience to slightly prickly old enough to have seen it all ascerbity. You can just filter out what isn’t useful. And stay off the Current Event /Off topic channels if you don’t like drama :slight_smile:

I have never seen anyone genuinely doxxed here, which is a far cry from folks pointing out that a poster has effectively identified themselves or their barn in their comments. You never know when someone you actually know in real life is on here and recognizes who you are discussing.

I have not found another horse chat board with a higher percent of actually useful advice and information. Obviously if you ask a question there will be a range of responses, some of which go off on tangents. But all in all you get a reasonable cross section of how knowledgeable adults will respond to an issue, whether it is barn protocol or training or horse care.

I understand the OP here is miffed. I would be too if my cash went missing. But the “lawsuit against the barn owner” is a ridiculous comment. Obviously the theft is not so significant that the OP evrn thought to report it to the police. And I expect the police would not pursue this. And no lawyer is going to advise spending $10,000 minimum to pursue a lost $100 bill.

I would say, lesson learned.

My pet peeve is people who run around saying “law suit” and “legal action” about minor things.

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Ok but sometimes it gets a little out of hand with some people sleuthing/cyber stalking and digging up post histories from years ago across multiple platforms. IMO, that’s not healthy.

This I agree with and that’s why I stick around.

Totally agree with this too.

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Any chance it ended up in the stall?

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OP, sorry the cash is gone. I would be indulging in a bit of grumbling and some small stomping about, because it is an expensive lesson in that there has to be a better way of paying your farrier. But I do have to agree that it was rather hopeful that your money would hang there for several days waiting for your farrier. Stuff happens - all too frequently to me - so I tend to be a bit more cautious.

If you have been happy at the barn and your horse well cared for, then take a deep breath and just be a bit more careful in the future.

On a lighter note my daughter’s pony was boarded at a barn that had 2 mini goats from Hades. In addition to the sin of head butting, they were terrible thieves and would snatch and gallop down the aisle madly consuming any paper from their surprising reach. Notes, lesson schedules, farrier bills all eaten in a flash. One day they stole my son’s 1st grade homework, in spite of being chased by mother and son. Teacher did not believe the initial note of “sorry, the goat ate my son’s homework”.

OP, hope you are able to move past the frustration and once again enjoy your horse time.

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thanks, I try. CoTH can be a tough place.

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really? warm and fuzzy? That has not been my experience with CoTH - and I have been around since pre-Y2K.

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COTH changes in tone based on the people who are posting. Other the years, that changes, and depending on what areas of the board you post on. There are a few poster that are just grumpy old ladies that have nothing better to do that sit at their keyboard and rub salt in everyone’s wounds. And who those posters are has changed dramatically but there’s always a few. BUT, those people can totally set the tone for a thread and result in a pile-on, which isn’t fair or necessary. There are also a lot of wonderful people here though, but many of the people with wise advice, or valuable perspective, also have full lives and aren’t around their computers 24/7 to counteract the posts of the grumps.

@EE Do you have a blanket rack where you posted this note? If I post a note on the front of my stall there is a 50% chance a barn staff with 0 attention to detail will shove my horse’s blanket, if they bother to change it, (I’m not at a classy barn and looking to move), over the note or envelope, rip it off the wall, and it will end up on the floor underneath or stuck in one of my blankets. Serious eye roll. I don’t understand why people can’t just pay attention and/or give a crap but I digress.

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Posters come in all flavors at any age and life styles.
More of a determinant to post’s tone could be seen dependent on how some may be feeling.
If being critical of others is part of how you think, it may let some be less kind, more on the short side, at any age, with or without time on their hands.

OP, as my first riding instructor, an older cavalry military officer insisted repeatedly, we should never set up people to fail, as in leaving temptations around.

Leaving an envelope taped to a wall in a public place is tempting the public to walk by and not look in there, not take what is in there.

The honor system is ok for when you don’t care if it doesn’t work, as not everyone in the public is going to be honorable.
Sooner or later that trust will be broken, if by accident, the envelope fell or blew away or somehow was lost, or if someone could not stand it and had to look and decide it wanted what was in there more than being honorable.

OP, sorry this happened. Maybe use this experience to find a different way to handle such situations, hide the envelope and let farrier know where it is?
We have a private barn, but we stick it between designated bales.
Consider that in a public barn, leaving it in the office, as suggested, or with someone that will be there, the instructor, a groom, in a more secure place than taped to a wall in public, may be a safer place for such.

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No, I would never have taken that chance. I DO leave a check for my farrier at my personal 2 stall barn on my property . But I would never anywhere I boarded. I went thru the most unbelievable story of tack theft at a very small boarding barn…where my LOCKED trailer was crowbarred open. Turned out , it was a fellow boarder (the barn Diva, BTW) who had been at this in multiple counties (and I do mean multiple) over many years in this state. The biggest shame is she was KNOWN to do this. For YEARS, but barns just wanted her gone when they kicked her out, and it continued at the next facility she’d go to. (I FOUND my stolen tack on Ebay, and she did finally get prosecuted that time) anyway. Never at a boarding barn would I leave anything of value left out/unlocked.

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Well said.

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