Oh, goodness, I am so sorry for you and Ivy*. But I have to thank you for the big laugh, and also for my friend (the one who has the cat who is the opposite of constipated. We laughed so hard when I was trying to read this aloud that I had to keep stopping so we could hear the story.
My mother was not a cat person. ** But she loved the ivy she planted and tended in our yard. And she would definitely have said that it could be … challenging.
**She was cat-phobic I think but she took wonderful care of her two grandcats when called upon to temporarily house them (ca 20 years apart).