You need to be careful. If you can’t definitively prove they are yours you may well be accused of stealing them by the BO’s daughter and find yourself getting booted from boarding there. If you aren’t 100% sure the BM will say that they took the spurs back because they belong to you and you can prove that, I would tell them no. Perhaps have the BM talk to the BO about boarders items being taken see how that goes first.
Cognitive bias unfortunately, the someone else has only been at the barn for a few weeks, so I was ready to believe it was them as I haven’t had anything else go missing for the years I’ve been there, although thinking about it there are some things I thought I’d misplaced. I’m considering the spurs irretrievable, and have bought some others.
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I love that idea! I saw a leather stamp on pinterest one time and thought that would be easy enough (easier than branding at least)
Yes, my father used a chisel-tipped woodburning tool to mark the bottom of the saddle, hidden in the channel between the two back panels. Worked great. Except… this was a long time ago, long before identify theft was a thing, so he marked it with… my social security # :rolleyes: And it was a high quality Crosby, so unless someone ruined it, my social security number may still be circulating the amateur H/J rings in NJ :lol:
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We had a rash of barn thefts back in the 80s, and the local police set up a day where they’d etch all your metal (bits, stirrups, etc) and brand all your leather. They were using social security numbers, too. Insane.
I bought a zippo lighter brand dohicky around that time. You could fit two initials in it, fire up the zippo to heat the initials, and brand your own leather. Did not have much stuff go on walk about when I did that.
Nylon halters – same deal. Just heat up a nail and lay it across the cheek piece 3x, and you have an identifiable mark you have made. If someone protests that’s just a “chance” mark, show them that you have similar marks on your OTHER nylon stuff. (Dog collar, spare halter, etc.) Initials make it easier for barn mates to identify (and return lost stuff to you), but any mark you purposefully make will be enough for you to I.D. your own stuff.
A friend of mine once told me “Once you have your horses at home, you’ll never, ever want to board again, even with all the work that comes with having them at home” and she was so, so right!
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I’d take an uninformed guess that the news would not be a surprise to the mother/BO.
And I would not be surprised if the BO were to defend her daughter at the expense of barn business. Unfortunately for the girl.
I think you are taking a wise tack, OP, in your own best interests.
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Back in the day when WBs weren’t so common, I had a huge long- backed Appy. He hated dressage, but as an eventer, I wanted/needed some real show practice. Besides, at a dressage show, unlike in eventing dressage, I could carry my whip. I had a lovely, brand new Baker blanket for him, an 84. Believe me, there were few horses around then that wore that big a blanket. It was stolen at the show. I had never before and never since had that happen. I always wondered how they felt when they put it on their horse. Unless they owned a draft, it would have been too big, by a lot, for most horses.
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I’ll mention this here because horse people really are at risk of losing costly stuff to theft.
There are the “borrowers”, and then there are the genuine thieves. The ones who know they are thieves and are proud of it.
So here’s an odd thing about thieves who know they are thieves. If approached in just the right way, they may be willing to return the goods or pay for them, in exchange for not having the loss reported to whatever authority could make things the most awkward for them (barn owner, police, whoever). If they don’t have to SAY they took it, just fix the situation in return for forgiveness.
I can’t explain all the ways to approach them, but in private, ask them the question as if honestly curious “Do you know if there is any reason that someone might say that they saw you with [this item]?” (Instead of ‘someone’, if you can tag an unnamed innocent such as ‘the neighbor’ or ‘the people at the next stall’ or whatever. Be ready to plausibly embellish with a time and location after the theft, but carefully that it is indeed plausible. Avoid doing that if possible.)
If they deny that anyone could have seen that, they may not have taken it. If they offer an explanation, they are acknowledging that they had their hands on it when they should not have. They may try to explain it away if they think they might have been seen.
The next step is to ask for return or recompense, in an indirect way. “Well I know we’d all be relieved if we found that blanket/saddle/spurs in the tack room again.” Then noisily engineer a time when that could happen without witnesses (so the thief will know), and it might magically turn up.
One person just said straightforwardly to a thief who had denied ever having had the goods “Would you be willing to pay back what the goods cost, and I won’t report to the police that the things were stolen?” And the thief said “Yes, would $$ be enough?” And she paid, on the spot! After having maintained denial! This is a good tactic if the goods are probably already irretrievably gone because they were sold.
Why would a thief return the goods or pay recompense, when they could just keep denying and keep the goods? Because they know they are going to get caught some of the time and they need to smooth things over so they can keep operating, and not have to start over in a new group, or a new location (because it’s hard). And because, in their mind, they can afford to lose this round and make up for it later. That won’t make any sense to honest people. But it’s what many will do. I’ve witnessed this in person. This is a recovery tactic used by professionals who are called in privately to sort out embezzlement and/or theft cases without involving the police. For some reason, most thieves seem to think that if they can mollify an aggrieved, proactive victim, it will buy cover so that they can continue to operate on other, more passive victims. Because for them, thievery isn’t just an occasional event, it’s a way of life, and they just want to be able to keep it going with the fewest possible consequences.
Any time you are sure something of value was stolen and are fairly certain of who stole it (especially if there is convincing evidence or an eyewitness), the best chance of recovery or recompense is a crafty negotiation with the thief. Find a way to ask indirectly for recovery/recompense in return for not reporting the loss to whatever authority could make things the most awkward for the thief (police, barn owner, whoever). You might be happily surprised. 
At the very least if someone needs to use one of your items and you aren’t around, he or she should leave a note indicating that they have it. And they should return it in the same or better condition. I’m glad I keep my horses at home. I would be really pissed off if someone took something of mine and did not return it.
When I had my horse, I was only at a public stable twice. (Had my horse for 29 years.) She was at friends when we put her down, and she is buried out there. BO and I are friends from way back, so I left my stuff there as I really do not have anywhere to keep my saddle. Well, somehow, my girth and saddle pad went missing. I was pretty irritated but since I didn’t have a horse anymore, I let it go. But I did bring everything else home. That was 10-12 years ago. I went out to see her late last winter, and there was my girth lying across her sofa! I didn’t say much about it and she offered no explanation. She has health problems and hasn’t ridden for 15 years. But there were others that would come out to ride in the ensuing years. Still haven’t found my saddle pad…
