Put me in the lighten up camp. The thread title is so true - your way to upset about this.
Listening to all this, I can’t imagine why the participation in horse shows/sports is down.
I grew up ‘barn-hopping’ on Saturdays with Mom. We did the rounds of the local barns, caught up on the gossip and occasionally got to sit on a horse (score!)
There is a word that is foreign to some. Respect. Even if I knew nothing about horses, I would not deign to invite myself onto private property and ask to ride a horse. Not done in polite society.
It would bother me… but I’m pretty sensitive to people messing around with or near my horses.
Ummm…if this is a lesson facility, wouldn’t you perhaps want to encourage kids to come and ride…not be a jerk to them? Why didn’t you just explain to them that yes, this is a lesson facility and they should come back with their parents if they want to start lessons and that flip flops should not be worn in the barn.
You don’t know these kids…their parents could be multi-millionaires that are going to spring for a gazillion lessons and buy a horse.
Now if this is a private home, then that is different, but a lesson barn is there to give lessons and theoretically these were potential clients.
The barn where my mare is boarded is primarily a lesson barn, so if polite people wander in when the owners/managers/trainers are not there, I give them a lesson brochure and chat them up a bit. I like my barn a lot and want to make sure they stay in business, so being an unofficial ambassador at times is in my best interests as well. If there are days where no one else is there other than me and I don’t want to be bothered, I lock the gate. 
[QUOTE=ACP;7692376]
Once at a show at the Kentucky Horse Park over the fourth of July, I had to ARGUE with several sets of parents.
No, your child can’t ride.
But I’ll sit behind him/her.
No.
But he/she wants to ride.
Go get lessons, I have a show horse, not a lesson horse.
Well, can we cut some of his tail for a keepsake?
OMG, awful. Just dumb as a box of rocks.
I finally asked him, “If you had a really expensive sports car, say about $100,000 or so, and you could never replace the brakes, and I didn’t know how, would you let me drive your car?”
He got the point and went away, with the brat handing on his arm and pulling at him, and yelling, “Make her let me ride!”[/QUOTE]
They do have rental horses at the KHP. Send them over there next time.
If horse ignorant people wander into a boarding/lesson/training facility, the best thing for the future of the sport is to BE NICE TO THEM.
One of those kinds could really love horses if they got a chance to look one in the eye, feel its breath and touch one. I didn’t come from a horsey family. I stole moments at fairs, camps, roadsides and supremely lucky horse-owning friend’s houses. I hunted down/stalked/horses within a five mile radius of my home and rode my bike to just look at them. That turned into once a week schooly lessons and I bought myself a horse when I turned sixteen.
Now I’m a trainer. (thirty years)
Try to be nice. You may be looking at a horse crazy kid who just hasn’t found out that they are one yet.
Of course the pushy jerks are just pushy jerks and should be sent packing, but that’s different than simply being ignorant because of lack of knowledge.
I enjoy kids coming up and seeing my fellow, and I’ve offered a few pony rides. The respectful ones. That don’t whine and hissy fit. Having a VERY unique colored horse at Champagne Run at the KY horse park during BreyerFest was an experience to say the least. He was mobbed the whole time. He’s also 4. It was…interesting. But I was lucky enough to have a lot of opportunities from really cool people so I try and pay it forward…when no one is pushy, entitled or doesn’t listen.
I wouldn’t do that now, and I feel bad that when I was younger I didn’t know better. But when I was younger, I didn’t know better.
I never thought of a boarding stable as private property. Of course it is, but when I was younger, I didn’t think of it that way.
All I can figure is that I was just so starved for horses, I couldn’t think straight.
It works better when the person(s) entering the barn are intelligent enough to listen. I know the type of person who walks in a puts their kid on a horse they don’t know. Saw it about 25 years ago at boarding/training/breeding barn. Dad of kid taking lessons came in with the son. He made small talk with the barn owner’s adult daughter and myself, then proceeded to put his son on her horse. Her Advance level Event horse who fortunately had better sense than the father and stood like a rock. Dad pulled his son off the horse and went out to the car.
As long as someone is paying attention and willing to communicate, I am more than happy to share information plus names of lesson barns. When people refuse to listen and try to bull their way into a situation, then proper steps must be taken.
This facility is for boarding and lessons, but after having to practically chase children and adults off who just waltz on the property for a decade, it gets old. Normally, I’m HAPPY to help if someone is interested in lessons or board or interact with the horses if the individuals ask first. But most of these people roll up like it’s a fabulous field day on a tour of town or a pet store. I never show up to a barn or assumed animal facility without asking someone if it’s ok. It’s like asking to pet a dog for me. It makes sense, and asking before diving in can prevent serious injury.
Admittedly, my patience with children in general has been extraordinarily thin as of late due to a few…lovely children at the barn screaming and being dangerous, out of control, and/or rude. These kids recently were fairly polite, and they caught me in a funk. But I’d love to know where their parents were that let four less than teen years girls wander down to a horse farm, in swim suits, towels, and flip flops no less!
When I was looking for college roommates, I always liked to mention that I rode horses just so that they would know that I would smell like hay and horses etc. It was amazing all the responses of “oh wow, you have a horse? I would love to be your roommate so I can ride it. I did a trail ride once so I know how to ride!” I’m all for sharing my lovable, bomb proof mare with you but just because we live in the same room, does not mean she’s yours for riding. If you just assume that you automatically get to have my horse just because we are roommates, then this is not a good fit. It happened to me three times and I’ve politely had to tell them that if they wish to lease her for 250 a month, they can!
[QUOTE=midstride;7692223]
I also hate when people find out I have horses and ride, and hint around for chances to ride. I know they don’t know, but it bugs me to no end. They don’t understand the blood,sweat,tears, love I have poured into my horses and sport, and can’t even understand what the difference is between riding competitively and letting a stranger flop around on.
Sorry for mini-rant. 
…but also not sorry either…[/QUOTE]
Wow people hint with you? I usually get “I’m going to come over and ride your horses.” Then get really snooty when I say no we don’t let other people ride them.
When we’re at a show we do let people pet them as my horses are well socialized but only if they are polite and ask first. I remember one family who pulled over when they saw an event going on to see if they could get a better look at the horses. They were very polite the children (about 5 of them well behaved) and definitely took being allowed to pet the horse as a privilege not a right. Overall that was a great experience for everyone. But the over entitled ones I have no patience for.
I’m in the lighten up camp. If the OP’s barn has this kind of visitation as an on-going problem, then there should be a protocol. Have a flyer with lesson information including rates that anyone can give out. I have had people come down my driveway looking for boarding, lessons, and even work. I try to be nice to everyone because it might be business that I want.
I understand how annoying it has to be to get a self-entitled idiot thinking you give pony rides, but that has not been an issue for me. I am pretty forgiving about pre-teens in swim suits coming by. I was a horse crazy kid once and I would have shown up in any outfit to see a horse in those days. Just remember, we need a certain number of horse crazy kids to grow up to be horse crazy adults. 
[QUOTE=arlosmine;7692733]
If horse ignorant people wander into a boarding/lesson/training facility, the best thing for the future of the sport is to BE NICE TO THEM.
One of those kinds could really love horses if they got a chance to look one in the eye, feel its breath and touch one. I didn’t come from a horsey family. I stole moments at fairs, camps, roadsides and supremely lucky horse-owning friend’s houses. I hunted down/stalked/horses within a five mile radius of my home and rode my bike to just look at them. That turned into once a week schooly lessons and I bought myself a horse when I turned sixteen.
Now I’m a trainer. (thirty years)
Try to be nice. You may be looking at a horse crazy kid who just hasn’t found out that they are one yet.
Of course the pushy jerks are just pushy jerks and should be sent packing, but that’s different than simply being ignorant because of lack of knowledge.[/QUOTE]
THIS is exactly right. Unfortunately, today there are relatively few opportunities for “civilians,” (non-horsey people) to even come in contact with horses. Lesson programs often insist that a family buy a “package” for an intimidating price when they don’t even know if the kid will like it yet, and in many places there is no info. out there about even where to start!
Believe me, I have more than my share of entitled, ignorant asshats around here; I think our county actually harbors most of the world supply–but where are the next generation of riders, clients, trainers, and owners to come from if we don’t give neophytes an entrance into our world?
So, right after I ask them to PLEASE read the sign that says PLEASE stop climbing up my gates, I DO ask them if they want to learn to ride, or if younger, would like to learn about ponies at a place that does tiny kids’ comb & brush camp and lead-line rides. I tell them forthrightly that my place is not safe for kids and I have no lesson horses, but HERE and THERE and over THERE are some fabulous programs and you can tell them I recommended you!
The operative thing is for them to walk away NOT thinking “horse people” are a bunch of snots!
I know exactly how you feel, OP - it irritates the snot out of me, too.
I started a very similar thread: http://www.chronofhorse.com/forum/showthread.php?439030-Random-people-entitlement-and-animals-a-vent
It is not our responsibility to make sure that everyone has access to OUR horses. If you would like to interact with horses, do a little research on the interwebs and find an appropriate venue - don’t just wander onto somebody’s private property with a bag of apples. I should not have to shoulder the liability risk so that you can get your pony fix.
Heck, I could be the next Micheal Phelps, but I’ll never know because I don’t have easy access to a pool. Maybe I should just start swimming in peoples’ privately owned pools - after all, shouldn’t they be willing to foster my potential talent? /Rant
[QUOTE=Kwill;7692239]
Lighten up, people! What’s wrong with non-horsey people expressing interest?
Sheesh, no reason to be mean because people don’t know anything. We all had to start somewhere.
Sounds like it does bother a lot of people, but doesn’t bother me.[/QUOTE]
It’s more the tendency of visitors to not know enough to avoid unsafe behaviors that bothers me.
We got a lot of foot traffic at my old barn; it was at the corner of a busy intersection, and other than putting up a big fence there was no way to hide the horses. Lots of parents with children big and small came in. I quickly learned a very basic spiel: “Some horses don’t like strangers and might kick or bite. Don’t come up right in front or right behind the horse, they can’t see you. If you want to pet a horse, ask first and always pet the neck, from the side. If you want to look at the horses outside that is fine but stay back from the fences. If you brought a bag of carrots, great, but again ask first, some horses get sick from carrots. If you have leftovers, give them to someone and we’ll make sure the horses who can have carrots get them with their dinner.”
It happens that I have a beautiful horse who looks like Barbies Dream Horse, so I got approached a lot. She is REALLY good with kids and will stand perfectly still if I tell her to. She is gentle about taking small treats from an open hand. So it was very easy, after all this warning, to invite them to pet her, and reinforce the “this is a nice horse, she loves people, but not all the other horses are like that.”
I only got asked if I’d let someone ride her once, and said no, she isn’t so calm when she’s being ridden, which is sort of a half-truth.
New barn doesn’t get drop-ins AFAIK because it’s set back from a quieter road and down a short hill. I am certainly less worried, but also kind of regret not being able to introduce more people to my horse, since I have a good one.
While I am always nice to people who come onto the property where I board and happy to answer questions for them (“No, we do not rent horses. This is a boarding barn only, we don’t have school horses. But if you just go over to such and such road there is a lesson/boarding barn at the end of the road and I’m sure they can help you.”), I can perfectly understand the reaction to someone like the entitled father. Man - I am just petrified at the thought that someone inexperienced might come in and try to take out and saddle up my very friendly (and VERY HOT, occasionally EXPLOSIVE) horse and go for a spin. Every though they would be in the wrong, I don’t have that much insurance!!! And I have no doubt that that type of person WOULD sue if they got hurt. And I would have to defend myself, even though it would be likely I would win.
Since I haven’t been in the horse game very long I can see both sides of this. People really need to have some forethought and respect though. In this day of internet and google there is really no reason that you should need to just drop in on someone’s farm, even if it is a lesson and boarding barn. If you see a place and they have a sign, take down the name, call the number, if there is no number google the name and MAKE AN APPOINTMENT. You will get your questions answered by someone who is in a position to schedule a lesson or introduce you or your child to an appropriately calm beginner horse and your experience is more likely to be positive.
People need to realize that while a BM may be so excited you are interested in the facility, they also have about a thousand and 6 tasks that need to be done. For example our trainer was pulling a string of polo ponies the other day for the tight scheduled farrier and someone showed up with small children. Not only did she not have time to talk at that moment, but she had 6 big, athletic, horses who are not used to kids tied up. I was there so I was able to stop the lady from just walking up to the line of horses and lead them in the other direction to pet the sweet TB and mini that I own. She asked if everyone who works there is so rude and I explained that despite being tied up, the front end of horses is just as dangerous as the back and no one wants her children to get hurt and that if the horses aren’t lined up ready for the farrier they may not get their scheduled pedicure. I gave her our trainer’s contact info and she set up an introductory lesson that night. There are no signs saying that lessons are even provided or implying that the barn is even open to the public. The gate was only open because the farrier was coming. In fact the focus of the trainer is mostly polo. She gives my kids lessons because we board there. She also wouldn’t have kid lesson horses except I have told her she can use ours to make some extra cash since she does so much for us.
I have also had people coming by while I was there with my kids and asking me questions. I politely tell them that I don’t know if she has open space, open lesson time, or anything for sale because I just board there. They often ask how much I am paying to board there and I say that is between me and the owner. It is kind of rude even if well intentioned. I drive 45 min to get there and clean and saddle the horses for my kids and I don’t want to spend 30 minutes talking to someone when my kids could be enjoying themselves.
When I was a teen and taking lessons people would just walk up to the arena and want to shoot the breeze with me about the horse and I finally got to the point where I said would be happy to talk when I am not paying 45 bucks an hour for this man’s time. It got the point across.
People don’t realize how dangerous it is to just hop out of your car at one of these places. There are often dogs, moving tractors, people on horseback who aren’t expecting you or a bunch of kids running around. It is also dangerous to the people riding when three loud kids run screaming towards the horsie and the mother clanging around by the arena gate yelling excuse me until you stop what you are doing and answer her.
I also like how they think lessons should cost 25 bucks or be free since their kid is too young to really get anything out of it yet. Rude. Or they see me with my kids and want me to give their kids cheap lessons after I explain I rode a different discipline many years ago and I am not qualified to be teaching anyone anything. Or they want to know why they can’t pay me 50 bucks to bring the mini to their kid’s birthday 60 miles away this Saturday. UGH!!!
[QUOTE=arlosmine;7692733]
If horse ignorant people wander into a boarding/lesson/training facility, the best thing for the future of the sport is to BE NICE TO THEM.[/QUOTE]
For the record, I am always nice, but I also give them a phone number and tell them to call and make an appointment if they would like a tour. It is a private home as well and some people who work there work strictly with the cattle and hay side of things and some don’t speak English.
Look at it this way, if you gave swimming lessons in your private pool in your back yard does that give people the right to enter your yard and check out your pool whenever they like? Do they get to come ask you a billion questions about swimming just because you are outside in your pool? Would it be ok to pull up from running errands to find strangers in your yard with your pets checking out the pool? Even if their kid is the next Michael Phelps just waiting to be introduced to your chlorinated heaven, does that mean you want to look up from the breakfast table to see him and his mother in your yard admiring your pool? Would you just say, oh well, there is a sign saying I am not liable if they get hurt?
I don’t care how much you love the sport of swimming and want to see it grow and become more popular, you aren’t going to want strangers on your property unannounced, with the potential to get hurt. Traipsing around a pool is 2000x (even for a non swimmer) safer than horses. Asking people to respect your property, animals, and time is not rude and shouldn’t hinder the sport one bit.
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