Timely topic: trainers bashing their former clients

[DMK]

I don’t think people involved in insular hobbies are any better or worse than they have ever been when it comes to gossiping/trash talking, etc. I just think the circle of awareness is much larger due to all our communication advancements.

You used to need to actually see the casual acquaintance/have an IRL convo with them to pass on information (gossip or otherwise), because most people weren’t going to get on the land line, tethered to the kitchen wall to pass on juicy updates or vent your spleen to a casual acquaintance. To a close friend/confidant? Absolutely.

So “mass” communication was limited to the barn or a show… and yet, it was always amazing how everyone knew everything. Now, with cellphones, social media, text groups and so on, it’s still SOSDD, but with a much larger circle. Technology has changed. Humans? #notsomuch

[BAC]

@APirateLooksAtForty

And my point is it would make me absolutely think twice before riding with the trash talking trainer … I think they are making themselves look worse by sullying the former clients name.

I wouldn’t do business or ride with one of those trainers. No matter what business or industry, bad mouthing a client or former client is unprofessional and unacceptable. And remember, they may be bad mouthing you one of these days, if you decide to leave them, no matter what the reason.

Disappointment over lost income doesn’t justify this poor behavior either. These trainers need to grow up and behave as mature adults.

[Spud_amp_Saf]

I think this issue is somewhat more rampant nowadays because the world is more connected, but the gossiping/trash talking in the horse world is nothing new. Horses are expensive and can truly be an all-consuming lifestyle choice. I think the gossip and trash talking upon parting ways is largely attributable to the fact that a large percentage of barn owners and trainers are not people who have work experience in the “real world”, or who really have much of a personal life outside of their business - the nature of the work makes that difficult. Some clients may also be entirely immersed in the horse scene in terms of their social life. Because of this, trainers/barn owners and clients become overly involved in one another’s personal lives because they don’t really have lives outside of the barn. Then, when someone wants to move on it is is seen as a personal slight or lack of loyalty. The lines between business relationship and friendship are often very blurred.

As a somewhat older and wiser adult, I have realized the importance a friendly but professional relationship with barn owners/managers/trainers and maintaining activities, interests and friends outside of the horse world. This has certainly helped me achieve better balance in my life and to maintain perspective about the horse world and its never ending sources of drama.

[OneTwoMany]

I think it was stated above, but is worth repeating, trash talkers don’t discriminate. Today they might be trash talking about the client that just left, tomorrow they will be trash talking about you the moment you disappoint them in some way. It is just best to steer clear.

[Equestrian24]

Unfortunately, there are a lot of very unprofessional people out there. I’m not sure if it’s worse now or if it’s always been this way, but some people aren’t capable of acting like adults.

Luckily, I’ve only been in one toxic barn environment and switched to a much better one, in which drama and gossip are not tolerated and it’s one of the barn rules. There are gossipy, drama-filled people throughout life, and the best you can do is try to avoid them and never engage in it.

[Mac123]

Honestly, this is nothing new. Now we have social media and forums for all sorts of gossip mongering which makes it more public, but it’s always been that way - and is that way at some local barns just as much as it is with some BNTs.

And honestly, it’ll always exist. It’s like asking why people still ride with or support trainers who are known for drugging their horses. Or who “like them young.” Or who pad their bills.

Because some people don’t mind that behavior. Some people even thrive in it. And our culture celebrates the celebrity or elite portions of the industry regardless of the morals or behaviors behind it. So people will still ride with and adore the BNT who [insert flaw here] because there’s a significant part of our world that really doesn’t care. People still buy horses from those who are known to drug; people still clamour to ride with BNTs who gossip about their former clients; people still herald the BNTs who abused young girls because for some reason, the accomplishment and the idea of who or what that person is is more important than the means they took to get there or who they actually are.

The rest of us choose not to do business with them or whatever (as we should), but it doesn’t stop that part of the world from functioning because the culture as a whole is pretty okay with it.