I have embraced cute bandanas as an alternative to styling my hair for the past 20 years! So far, I’ve managed to roll with it at work (small animal veterinarian), though I’ve been described as “kind of hippie looking” and “have your own style” and “not a fashion plate”. …as far as I’m concerned, that beats the heck out of “untidy, wispy, bobbed hair all over the place.”. Happily, I can wear scrubs every day, which is basically jammies.
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I was mulling this over while doing a low key trail ride today.
There is looking put together, there is feeling put together, and then there is looking actually pretty. Three totally different things.
Traditional English horse show gear is brilliantly constructed to make you look put together even if you don’t feel it. You see your dressage test video with everything tucked in and snugged up, and noone could guess your Spanx are killing you under the spotless white breeches, there is a river of sweat going down your backbone, and your hair has been flattened under a net.
But you don’t necessarily look pretty like that unless you were blessed with the Ideal Rider Body. Actually almost noone over the age of 18 looks really good in riding gear (ok maybe 30) and those who actually still look adorable in their gear persist in agonizing over “bubble head” helmets and matchy matchy sets.
The barrier to looking put together in daily riding is we aren’t going to put on atailored hip length coat which is the thing that gives such a smooth line to the show ring look. Without a coat or tailored vest it’s a challenge to handle the waist area. Depending on your own conformation you might never look fully pulled together (muffin top, etc).
I think that all things being more or less equal, I see slimmer riders as looking more put together just because stuff fits them better. It doesn’t translate to the rest of us. I went and tried on a pair of the expensive riding tights that The Body Building Queen was wearing, and on me the result was a miracle of camel toe and visible cellulite. Like I said above, my best efforts at being pulled together in every day gear that fits me as well as anything ever will, makes me look like a female cop. I take it that acknowledges some level of tidiness 
As far as wearing out, my breeches are mostly running up to about 6 years old, and they are definitely fading. My cotton polo shirts from Winners, mostly Ralph Lauren and Tommy Hilfiger, deep discount, have lasted way longer than I expected, most of them coming up towards ten years. I can handle a little fading but I hate hate hate permanent stains, whether oil based or blu-kote or iodine etc.
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I wash all my riding clothes on cold and hang to dry as well and find that other than pilling under my boots, I have never worn through anything…and I was riding 2 horses about 5-6 days a week and doing barn work/self care, so I wasn’t just hopping on a pre-groomed horse. I usually just got rid of stuff when it starts getting saggy or like someone else said, I can’t get a large stain out.
I do the same thing as others mentioned with neutral dark breeches and keeping all my Sun shirts and (extensive) saddle pad collection in the same color family…every time smartpak releases new colors, I buy most all the blues and greens and occasionally a purple or maroon, that way everything is interchangeable and more or less matches.
Another thing I thought of that I always receive compliments on are my many many layering pieces of athletic wear from Marshall’s! I always find great quarter zips, light jackets, vests, soft shells etc there for $20 or less, usually more like $12. I know what styles look most flattering on me and just buy them in different colors and weights so I always have something in my car. In the winter I usually start out with a down vest on and will often go down to a fleece lined quarter zip with a Sun shirt and long John type shirt underneath and still manage to look pretty tidy. It’s all about finding something with a tapered/nipped waist for me! I find it makes my clothes look like they fit well and prevents you from looking like your belt is cutting you in half.
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For belts, I love Grip6! One of those FaceBook ads I finally clicked on and ordered some. They are infinitely adjustable and stay nice and flat without any “tail” flapping around. The straps and buckles are interchangeable, so I have a white strap that I use when I’m showing in white breeches. It’s kind of too bad because I have this gorgeous vintage sterling buckle on a nice leather belt and I never wear it.
Question for those of you who are saying “wear gloves” - do you mean just while riding? Or do you also wear gloves while grooming/tacking/feeding/doing anything within a quarter mile of a paddock?
I ride with one lady who does wear deerskin gloves to groom/tack up, then she switches to riding gloves. I tried grooming/tacking up once in my deerskin work gloves and it was not my favourite thing in the world and I still managed to get dirt under my nails.
I do ride in gloves, but that’s it. They go on/come off at the same time as my helmet. I keep my nails short and have resigned myself to always having some crud under my nails that I never seem to be able to fully get rid of (when I get home from the barn I clean under my nails and it all goes away, then I look down and they are dirty again!)
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I keep a couple of pairs of gardening gloves in my tack box to wear while grooming. They’ve cut down on the crud under my nails considerably. If there’s still some dirt under my nails, I do my best to get it out with a baby wipe.
Funnily enough, keeping your nails a little longer than ‘short’ helps keep them cleaner. I do not understand the mechanism. I keep mine about 3mms longer than the actual nail bed, and they stay relatively clean (I ride in gloves, but I do not groom/handle in gloves).
It might be that the length, away from the finger tip, is not such a tight crevice, so dirt doesn’t get stuck? I really can’t say, but that has been my experience.
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Personally, I couldn’t imagine wearing gloves to groom and tack.
I want to feel my horse! I want to feel the temperature of their skin, The texture of their muscles, the smoothness of their hair. I have seen people groom and tack with gloves… And it just mystifies me. I feel like they are missing so many ways of connecting with their horse.
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In regards to nails, just get a short manicure! Gel or dip, hides all the sins and stays on through everything. Obviously get them redone when it starts to chip or it defeats the purpose of looking put together 
Coming from hunter land, I find the matchy matchy to be distracting and personally takes too much thinking to pull off. The most put together people I see keep it VERY simple. White pads (clean) and half pads if you use them, tan breeches that fit well (modern fabrics that shed stains), and a collection of sunshirts in solid colors ALWAYS tucked in with a belt - the elastic ones look much neater, and you won’t scratch your saddle. Clean boots/helmet/tack. Ball cap to contain the helmet hair, and keeping some clean cloths or makeup wipes to wipe your face always helps!
I really find when looking back at pictures that a tucked in sleeved shirt with a belt makes all the difference. But that really only works when the clothes themselves fit and flatter!
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I don’t think this is necessarily true…I definitely don’t have the “Ideal Rider Body” and I am well over 30, but I think I manage to look pretty put together at the barn. Like others, I work with a color palette so everything more or less coordinates, including saddle pads. I wear dark neutral breeches or riding tights, and have a few sun shirts in my favorite colors that coordinate with my breeches. I always tuck in and wear a belt. I wear “fun” boot socks for a pop of color, and I tuck my hair into my helmet. I do like wearing a vest when it’s cooler to smooth out the muffin top, but when it’s hot, I don’t worry about it. I wear minimal makeup at work so if I go straight to the barn, it’s still on, but on the weekends or for shows I just use a tinted moisturizer.
Personally, I don’t think looking put together is about your body shape or size, it’s about having confidence and wearing what makes you feel good! I am loving seeing models in different sizes and shapes who look great in the catalogs recently who prove you can look great without fitting into an “ideal” shape.
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Ah yes. I was being a bit humorous. We can all look tidy and tucked in. However when I do this in my darker everyday gear my best efforts get me the Lady Cop look which isn’t what ideally I’m aiming for.
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I am guessing the polos are the main culprit.
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Navy blue polo shirts, dark grey breeches, and navy blue saddle pad with the silver Ogilvy logo button. One park hiking family said my helmet Charles Owen logo looked like an insignia. My fanny pack for treats and phone does look like a walkie talkie or even a Taser holster. And maresy can look very stolid especially in hot weather.
Remember Color Seasons from 1980s fashion advice? Well, I’m a Clear Dark High Contrast Winter and maresy is a true Autumn so there is very little overlap for us. I can’t put a mulberry red saddle pad on a splashy chestnut Paint and I can’t wear the gold taupe earth tones that really flatter her. We compromise on blues and darker greens.
When I was a child we had imaginary horses that were the same color as our own hair. I’ve never heard this brought up as a consideration for real life horse decisions but if I had a dark bay (or a bay roan now, haha) we could wear the same colors.
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I have a dark bay (no chrome) and I am a medium dark brunette. We mostly look our best in the same colors. We also both bleach out some in the summer 
For the OP, I like matching solid color saddle pads with solid color athletic polos (tennis / golf shirt types). So like, teal pad w teal shirt. I don’t go in for matching bonnets and boots (don’t regularly use either anyways). I think that much matchy matchy starts looking … too much. I like black and grey breeches best. Black boots, gloves, helmet and belt. Clean tack. Clean horse.
Now the time after the ride. Wipes and towels are key here. For me the best solution for hair was a “long” swing bob that I could put in a tiny pony tail at its longest or in a net when it was shorter while riding. After riding I’d whip through hair with a “wet” brush I kept in a ziplock bag in my grooming tote and pop on a wide headband or a knit hat in winter. I like soft headbands I can shove in pockets. Sunglasses.
I don’t bother with any of this anymore as I’m now keeping horses at home. I generally look like the hot mess express these days.
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I apologize for being so dense, but is it that they don’t scratch because they don’t have a buckle? I don’t wear a belt because they are uncomfortable, but an elastic one would be great. I never thought about scratching, but it seems that any one with a buckle could when dismounting.
I never wear a belt. N.e.v.e.r. I don’t quite understand why one would. Belts seem utterly superfluous to me.
(and I was a pony club mom and organizer!!! Do as I say, not as I do, I guess.)
The elastic belts lay super flat so there isn’t a big buckle poking out. Same with the actual band, I’m personally between holes with the plastic or leather belts so there’s always a gap to get caught on something.
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Re: Belt/saddle interface: I’ve been dismounting by sliding down the shoulder in front of the saddle for years. It started because I dislocated my shoulder, but now it’s normal, and keeps buckles off my saddle.
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I find belts of any kind scratch my saddle, so I stopped wearing one when I switched to the compression hybrid breeches. They have belt loops, so I could in theory wear one, but I don’t. Even my elastic belts with the flat and smooth buckles seemed to do damage to the soft, French leather on my new saddle. I manage to look (somewhat) tidy mainly because the compression breeches stay up on their own and I wear fitted sun shirts/tops. For showing, of course I would wear a belt. But I don’t find it necessary or useful day-to-day.
Anything I wear to the barn is likely to get dirty, torn, stained, or just worn out.
So I would NEVER wear anything “nice” to the barn.
In the summer it is the faded tee shirts (especially ones I do not like.
In spring and fall it is the turtlenecks I can’t wear “on public” because the seams on the neck and the cuffs are going, and the stained sweatshirt.
In the winter it is the slightly torn “ski jacket”
I wear schooling tights (light weight for summer, fleece lined for winter), and keep using them until they literally start falling apart.
I only wear a belt when showing.
I only wear gloves if it is cold, raining, or the horse is very sweaty (so I need the grip).
Looking “put together” is the LAST thing I want when at the barn.
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