Border collie people have a great command: “that’ll do.” It means “what you’re doing was just fine at the time, but you need to stop now.”
I teach it by redirection. I use “that’ll do” followed by another command for a behavior incompatible with the first. In your case, maybe “that’ll do!” “here!” since the dog probably wouldn’t continue to bark once he was focused on his recall. [Of course, if his recall’s not 100%, you might have to go get him the first few times.;)] But the point is, to give a command that the dog can’t accomplish and continue the behavior you want to stop.
After a few repetitions, try using “that’ll do” all by itself and see if the dog stops what he’s doing. Since poodles are nearly as clever as border collies :winkgrin:, I bet he will.
FWIW, I don’t think a swat on the butt is a bad thing to do to a dog who’s ignoring you. I’m not saying it’d be my first choice of correction, but hey, you gave him a chance to do the right thing, and he didn’t. I don’t think what you did necessarily makes you a bad dog mom.