I can understand why this is the update that you never wanted to share, but I give you so much credit for being able to recognize the baggage and being practical about it. You’re just being realistic, and I think that’s commendable.
Your update may also be so valuable to someone that’s in or has been in a similar position.
Best of luck with the training and sale.
You are giving him a chance at a better future and saw him through a major surgery. That is the opposite of throwing in the towel. You are recognizing your limits and setting him up for success. That takes courage
This hobby is way too intense to keep going if you aren’t having fun. Sometimes the horse or the timing just isn’t right, it happens to all of us. You went above and beyond for him medically and set him up for a great life - that’s what being a horseman is all about.
It sounds like your horse is a nice one, I’m sure someone will snap him up. It could end up being a win-win situation for both of you. This is how I got my OTTB - his former owner tried to make it work for a while but ultimately decided he wasn’t the right horse for her. I’m really grateful she did because I adore him, he’s much happier in his new job, and she bought an awesome hony that she’s been having a ton of fun with. We keep in touch and trade pictures, and it’s really worked out great all around.
Thank you. My hope really is if another adult ammy finds themselves in the same boat, they can realize they aren’t alone. I spent a lot of time telling myself to ride through the miserable because everyone from my barnmates to my trainer told me he was “such a nice horse.” And he is! He’s a flippin’ powerhouse! But I don’t need a powerhouse! I need a power… shack. A hut, maybe.
Giving myself the grace to say, “It’s ok if it doesn’t work out, I’m going to sell him.” has been such an incredible relief.
@dmveventer that’s my hope! He has such a kind personality, I think someone will be very happy to have him be the one to greet them at the gate.
No…for all that time, money and worry, you need and deserve a Resort 
So I definitely could have written this post TODAY - I am so excited to be able read through the comments and maybe get some good advice or at least some affirmations.
No one told me 5-year-olds would be so hard; I want the quiet, non-opinionated 4-year-old I had last year back!!!
Don’t worry, most get over it under a year and you get back the horse you had before.
If he was really nice and accommodating, once he gets this growth spurt out, that should be who he reverts to, we had plenty do that.
Once a really nice ranch grey colt was wonderful all along for any we asked, the kind you get on and go on.
About 5 1/2 years old he was starting to get a bit full of himself.
One day the same farrier that had been caring for his feet for years walked up to him to trim and colt had rollers in his nose and acted like a wild bronc.
Farrier could not start for laughing so hard at him.
Colt stood there for a bit and then sighted and gave his bluff up, never again to give farrier any attitude.
That grey colt, when we started him, at three here:
My horse is now 6 but his 5 year old included really moving up in the herd to being basically the boss over 5 other horses. 
that made the 5 year old year even more interesting as he was feeling pretty confident!
I don’t think anyone wants to admit it but sometimes we reach our limit . Honestly it sounds like you are doing the best thing for both of you, even though it is a hard decision. Upward it is.
Hello world! We’re back with yet another update. I don’t know if it’s the horse market or what but selling has been a bitch and I am still the owner of an OTTB. Since my last post, I pivoted and sent him just under 2 hours to a dressage trainer. He’s been there since February and honestly we needed the distance. I’ve listed him to no avail, and have made the decision to bring him back to my hometown and send him to a trainer here who specializes in OTTBs.
I was initially really wary, but since sending him away I’ve ridden him a few times and the nervousness has definitely dissipated. The new trainer has given me her plan for him, which is really refreshing after some of my last experiences, and has been open that we can adjust to whether I choose to keep or sell him, and she has a much larger network should/when we list him.
Always keeping me on my toes!
Young horses, especially young big horses, need time to develop. They don’t know where their feet are for awhile (think teenage boy), and need to learn to find their own balance before they can really balance with a rider. And there are so many things to see!
All to say - just because a horse is not your ride at 4 doesn’t mean that, given proper training with someone who understands bringing along young horses, it can’t be your ride at 6 or 7. You two may well yet be a pair.
But life is too short to invest in a horse that you’re not enjoying, and there’s no fault in finding that horse a good home and getting something that make you want to go to the barn (rather than dreading the prospect).
Best of luck!
Sounds like a solid plan. I do think that overall the market has softened considerably. It took me 4 months and I had to drop my price 25% to sell my gelding. Hopefully this new trainer and program will get you on the right track, whichever way that ends up going.
I bought a very big, 2yo tb that flunked during her track training. I used to be able to ride anything so her rambunctious antics never bothered me but, trying to learn anything in a lesson was a problem. She had too much energy and she was turned out everyday so she had lots of time to move. I ended up galloping her the day before each lesson (2 lessons a week) and that took the edge off her so we could really listen during the class. It made all the difference in the world.
So even though I had ridden tb’s since a kid I had never put together just how much energy some need to burn before they are capable of listening. She was like a Border Collie, very smart with a lot of “motion”.
Him being in training has been huge. I actually just hopped on him yesterday and he was like a different horse – in a flippin HACKAMORE! Heading into training with this new instructor will be much more tailored and with a plan, so I think, to your point, it will be good for him to really have to work!
One of mine is like this… he’s put on weight and no longer looks puny, and now he needs to WORK. Otherwise, he gets brilliant ideas 
. He’s pretty genuine but I don’t always like the things he comes up with 
I hear you on the “brilliant ideas”! Physical work and using her brain was the key for my girl. (And physical work for a tb is on par with physical work for Malamute!)
I am so glad for you- no shame in adjusting the plan, but I remember watching your show video thinking you guys really were making the best of a situation your trainer shouldn’t have put you in. Hopefully a new program makes all the difference!
I think the root of a good chunk of the problem was the previous trainer just didn’t have the time to put rides on him, so poor guy was stunk with an ammy 24/7. He’s been getting rides from a very talented college kid this spring, focused solely on dressage, and will now be moving into a full H/J training program with a pro. I’ve definitely noticed a difference in how he listens and understands, and his patience. This is a tiny clip from our canter yesterday–he’s so relaxed in this hackamore (we’re experimenting with different bits; he went surprisingly well in this though it’s a touch lower than I’d like) and just really seemed happy!
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He looks like a blast to ride. My gelding is better in a hackamore too. I remember reading a few years ago from a study, possibly Fairfax, that a bit alters hind end engagement negatively.
What a lovely canter. I hope this program continues to work for you.
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