Update pg 100-Erin sends the thread over the Rainbow Bridge. It had a good life...

[horse_poor]

Well ladies, my prom date ditched me so I bought the unbroken broken horse and it shall be my date. Please do not point and laugh at his twinkie-BOSS-fly spray covered leg, because you know as well as I do that the combination above is the only thing that will cure it. So DON’T tell me to call a vet because I know more than a vet.

Or maybe I should call a vet. What do you think? Should I or not? Maybe I should wait until after prom because I would not want to ruin prom with the vet saying that a broken leg was a reason not to go to prom. Right?

Whoever is taking the pimped out trailer–you can borrow my Chevette to pull it, because your John Deere will NEVER make it. DON’T YOU KNOW THAT YOU CAN DIE THAT WAY?

[eventable]

Do they still count as secretive if you know about them?

Only 34 minutes to go, then it’s THE WEEKEND!!!

[Kat_the_Horse]

Please be assured that Vineyridge, Goddess Tracantor of the Universal Church of White Trash Dressage, will not be seated on a bucket!

We have secured a centerline ringside seating area in which to set up our beer-barrel lounge-chairs (complete with Appaloosa hide upholstry), trojan-horse shaped barbeque (you lever ears and get either hot mustard or French dressing, and pulling the bottom jaw down dispenses mayo out the nostrils). Her Universal Tracanter Self will be receiving esteemed guests, winning competitors, and providing counsel to those in need (all for a minimal donation, cash-only-please) between classes. As She was not asked…er…cannot participate in the I40 East2West-West2East Days Parade due to religious constraints, she will periodically mount the Blessed Goddess Veeehickle (note to self: Don’t forget muckcart!) and will wheel amongst the masses to dispense what comfort and wisdom She can between Centerline camp and closest Port’o’John.

As Personal Advisor to Vineyridge, Goddess Tracanter of the Universal Church of White Trash Dressage, it would be an honor for you to meet with Vineyridge, Goddess, etc. etc. You would, no doubt, be forthcoming with the required donation, (and please remember, NO Canadian coins, okay?). No doubt Herself will utter meaningless crap like “oh, you shouldn’t have” or “No, please, your presence is gift enough” but I remind you, we, her staff, are getting tired of pinto, beans and rice 3 meals a day. So, …er…pony up!

[royal1]

<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-title”>quote:</div><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-content”>WeLL I ThiNk I FouNd A SolUtion…I Am GOIng TO tAkE sOme LessOnS FrOm A TraInEr KnoWN AS PV. He SAiD MY HOrSE Is REaLLy NicE AnD tHat I ShOulD iNsure hIm For Lots Of MonEy, SiNce YOUng HorSEs Can Be AccIdeNt PrONe.

He AnD His FriEND Joe P. Are GoiNG tO Meet With ME And My GraNdMothEr AnD hAve TEa In FroNT OF A NiCE RaGinG FirE In THe FirEplAce To DisCuss BuyIng SomE NiCe New ProSpEcts.

So I THiNk I Am On My WaY To The BiG TIME. AlREaDy He Is ScHoolIng ME By </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh MY GOD!!! my old trainer changed his name when he moved out of state!!! this thread has had me rolling…but I used to ride with the above trainer!! his clients horses were very “accident prone” We moved barns before my old man fell and “hurt” himself. Ok I must read on now…

[DeLapp512]

i’m dissapointed i was gone all night, and i come back this morning, and MCM still has no name…

egg BUTT: are you too cool to join my clique? finders keepers joined…mcm is too much of a wussy. she is afraid that people will think badly of her because she eats resque…but i say, no…you wussy.

and you guys are all setting yourself up for dissapointment for the show coming up. snor-kal and myself are going to beat everyone because not only are we the best, but even table is my bnt.

ah, have fun posting all day, i’ve gotta go to work, where there is no internet, or computers…

[eggbutt]

<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-title”>quote:</div><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-content”>Originally posted by jetsmom:
If HE iS Still CHokIng TomOrrOw ShouLd I cAlL The Vet?
</div></BLOCKQUOTE>

It’s been 15 minutes and I’m still leaking tears of laughter over this one! Lordy, how many times have we all read something similar on this board posted very seriously by someone!!! Too, too funny. Thank you again Jetsmom!

[DeLapp512]

if there was a jack in the box between nz and cali, i’d be really really worried…unless you took the long way around the world…in which case, you would pass a few.

ew…curly fries and cheese. thats just morally wrong…when i win the lottery and move to NZ, i will BUY a jack in the box and bring it with me.

moving on to other more important things…

i would like to buy another horse. snor-kal and little ju-ju are great, oh, plus my embryo number 5 out of 8 which i will be buying as soon as its born…but i need another. preferably a mare, to breed with ju-ju.

it must meet the following requirements:

1. must have the word Tripod in its name
2. must be at least 24 hands
3. must be cow hocked, knock kneed, and pigeon toed
4. must have wall eye
5. must be very badly behaved.

[eggbutt]

<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-title”>quote:</div><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-content”>Originally posted by Coreene:
<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-title”>quote:</div><div class=“ip-ubbcode-quote-content”>Originally posted by oreovengenceismine:
pony that can take AK47, lock peeps in cattle car and drive truck is damn smart you know it. where jetsmom and helen? wouldn’t you like to know. will be seeing you at parade heh heh heh … </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
Oreo is dead. She is posting in italics!
</div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Coreene, WoW! I am SO thankful! I’d been wondering why my italics wasn’t working on some of my posts and you’ve cleared it up for me! I’m not dead yet…just living in the hell this thread has created!

[1-800-Dial-A-Distanc]

Alright kids, I too am out as I’ve got to head to Brownland in the AM and then have a long weekend. I’ll finish up in Franklin sometime tomorrow night and will make I-40 by sunup Saturday.

My horse informed me that he does not do dressage, as such, I shall borrow the closest cow. If I cover her with enough bling, she’ll fit in…

Now where did I put that duct tape??

1-800

[mcm7780]

I think there are plenty of places in NJ where we would be welcomed!

Ohhh!!! My friend manages a Bob Evan’s in NJ…maybe they could cater a breakfast for us after the prom!

[FindersKeepers]

CH, now that I am a BNT and have used NH on my latest project, I feel i posses the expert advice to help you. what you are going to have to do is try harder. Now that he’s returned to his primal state, you need to find a primal way to get him to respond. I found the best way to get a desensitized horse on a trailer is to capture a mountain lion/bear/angry rotweiler, and set up a chute for them to chase your horse through and onto the trailer. THe hardest part is getting the door closed after your horse but before the beast. But if you cant, well you can be an honorary member at the afterprom

[Snap]

Yeah mcm, another saddle that doesn’t fit me or my horse/moose and is completely over priced!! You are my new bestest friend!! We are sooo gonna win because of how cool we will look! Plus I slept with the judge.

egg BUTT- what is this special cream? Did I miss something? Please tell me what this cream is made of before my minds drifts in that very wrong direction!

edited to add- oh my, its even worse than I thought and all this on page 69- oh boy I’m really far gone!

[FindersKeepers]

Absolutely, the 500 references would not be a problem at all. I was actually quite surprised that you did not ask for them sooner. Now should I mail them to the same overseas address as the cash for the baby? Or is there some US address you want them sent to?

Snap - I can’t believe your mare is still producing milk, that is really strange. You’d better call the vet as soon as your swim is over.

I’m going to go buy a jet ski on my lunch break and then bring my fillygeldings along behind me using lunge lines. Now, for international trips, do you think it is better to wrap, or go all natural? Is there any homeopathic stuff I can make them eat to ensure they make the swim? I’m planning on stopping in Mexico and again in the Phillipines, so I need all information on whose who and the best barns in those areas. Does anyone know any tripods in Mexico??

[buff4948]

Hum, I do have trouble reading other posts. One I read about land clearing said something about ‘rock hounds’ hum where do I get one?

Do they just hunt the rocks (I know where they are - my horses trip over them all the time) or do they hunt to kill and thus perminately remove them?

I seem to have the most prolific rocks in the world.

[chism]

Would madison be what I think it is?!

OUCH!!!

[DeLapp512]

jeez…lets not ask to have the thread shut down. what else would i do when i got home from work if this thread was gone…i’d have to post serious answers, and thats just not allowed. i really have a hard time looking at things seriously…of course, i had minor trouble with it before this thread came along…

mcm, be brave. join the clique. you can do it…anyone who takes ‘resques’ seriously…well…thats just sad. plus if anyone yells at you, you have about 30 people on this thread who will send them poisoned BOSS brownies…so there!

i’ll be sure to hop on my lear jet as soon as it is repaired to come visit…

[eggbutt]

eggBUTT sheepishly asks, what is a POSH HJ party? I am a DQ and in-hand sport horse kind of girl and do know a bit about QH Western from my hundred years ago youth and am a bit familiar with the Bling-bling Arabian world on the side. But, I’ve NEVER been to a posh H/J party…what do I wear and what is the etiquette? Do we really have to jump something? Are we really going to hunt something? Really? Do I need to ride my tripod in two point all the time with my wrists curled? Really? Please help me understand - I really just want an honest answer/opinion.

Is the vet here yet? Should I call him?

[mcm7780]

That site was rad!!! I changed the company website to redneck and jive and showed a bunch of my coworkers… It said something abouy “yur clients ‘r hankerin’ to know”. Hehehe!!!

So when will we vote on who is one prom committee??? I’m getting anxious!

[Pocket_Pony]

Mmmm, Ravenswood Zin - one of my faves!

I am completely aghasted, though, at the rest of this thread!!

[horse_poor]

Hey, don’t be calling US Stupid, YOU are stupid! Why don’t you go back to where you came from, no one wants you here.

And I don’t think this is horse related, why hasn’t it been shut down yet?

Ohhhhhhhhhh 1-800 those are the BESTEST trainers- my BNT is JUST like that!