UPDATE - RIP Shade - words can`t describe the loss

Now I’m weeping all over again. Laura, this is beautiful. Is it yours?

[QUOTE=LauraKY;6934631]
FROM FRIEND TO FRIEND

You’re giving me a special gift,
So sorrowfully endowed,
And through these last few cherished days,
Your courage makes me proud.

But really, love is knowing
When your best friend is in pain,
And understanding earthly acts
Will only be in vain.

So looking deep into your eyes,
Beyond, into your soul,
I see in you the magic, that will
Once more make me whole.

The strength that you possess,
Is why I look to you today,
To do this thing that must be done,
For it’s the only way.

That strength is why I’ve followed you,
And chose you as my friend,
And why I’ve loved you all these years…
My partner 'til the end.

Please, understand just what this gift,
You’re giving, means to me,
It gives me back the strength I’ve lost,
And all my dignity.

You take a stand on my behalf,
For that is what friends do.
And know that what you do is right,
For I believe it too.

So one last time, I breathe your scent,
And through your hand I feel,
The courage that’s within you,
To now grant me this appeal.

Cut the leash that holds me here,
Dear friend, and let me run,
Once more a strong and steady dog,
My pain and struggle done.

And don’t despair my passing,
For I won’t be far away,
Forever here, within your heart,
And memory I’ll stay.

I’ll be there watching over you,
Your ever faithful friend,
And in your memories I’ll run,
…a young dog once again.[/QUOTE]

Fragile Circle

‎"We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own, live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached. :heart:
Unable to accept its awful gaps, we still would live no other way.
We cherish memory as the only certain immortality,
never fully understanding the necessary plan."

Irving Townsend.

I’m so very sorry for your loss of Shade.

No lovey, it’s not mine. It’s been passed around among friends for so long, I’m not sure where it originally came from.

[QUOTE=cnigh;6934714]
Shade was a wonderful girl to the end. She went very quickly and peacefully. We were all with her, her boys, my husband and myself.

We will always miss her.[/QUOTE]

So sorry.
Hugs to all.:cry:

I just saw this thread and had to add my voice. I am so, so sorry for your loss. Wishing you strength and courage to get through this awful time.

Just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss.
Take good care of yourself. Really really sorry.

I have followed this thread from the beginning. I’m so very sorry you lost Shade. God speed to the Bridge; you were very much loved.

Such a treasured dog Shade was, so obvious in your words during this terrible time. I am very sorry for your family’s loss and pray you will take comfort in the wonderful life you gave her. She was so fortunate to have all of you as hers.

Laura’s poem was perfect and pretty much says it all for many of us. You really devoted yourself to caring for Shade so tenderly in these past few weeks. Take care and may Shade rest in peace. I believe that you will see her again.

Shade was a very lucky girl to have you as a representative for her needs. You should be proud of yourself for being there for her when she really needed it and supporting her through her life, and letting her go when it was time. Im so sorry, hugs.

[QUOTE=LauraKY;6935091]
No lovey, it’s not mine. It’s been passed around among friends for so long, I’m not sure where it originally came from.[/QUOTE]

Thanks Laura, it is now in my archives along with The Fragile Circle and The Rainbow Bridge. Such heartfelt and beautiful prose, and so cathartic. What works for me is all-out grieving - crying yourself out, crying until you cant muster another moan or tear. It is a sequence I know well, and over the years of loss, I take comfort in the “routine”, as it were, of allowing myself to grieve the way I need to.

As various people have said, grief is the price we pay for love.

Thinking of you guys, cnigh.

I am so very sorry to see this update and I am thinking of you and your family.

I spent a great deal of time today reading through these pages, and I cannot express enough condolences to you, cnigh. I am so very, very sorry. You cared for Shade in a very loving manner…rest assured she knew you did all you could.

Please rest easy. She’ll never be away from you; she will always be there watching out for you.

Gentle hugs from Southern Colorado. :cry:

So sorry to read she passed away.

[QUOTE=summerhorse;6935698]
So sorry to read she passed away.[/QUOTE]

Thank you, summerhorse. It was hugely shocking to us, especially those of us who worked in close quarters with her. She was diagnosed March 8th, passed 4 weeks later, and her dear husband, Robert (the other CMSgt Cherry), had to say goodbye on their 12th wedding anniversary. She was just a tiny little thing, but my goodness, watch out! She was a LEADER!! And funny. Many never got past her being strict on upholding and following the regs; the rest of us never got used to feeling a little presence suddenly leaning into us to say something funny and saunter off like nothing happened while we nearly pee’d ourselves over what she said. And she had a big heart. She is definitely missed.

I love seeing that filly zoom around! That was so cute!

Oh I am just so saddened to read this!!! Godspeed to your beautiful Shade.

Thank you for all your kindness.

We miss her so much. I just want to be able to hold her again. This last week at home in my arms was her gift to me.

Here are the last pictures of her with her family.

Shadey and Dynamite
http://i415.photobucket.com/albums/pp239/cnigh_2008/Shade/002_zps7a6d6e70.jpg

Shadey with her boys
http://i415.photobucket.com/albums/pp239/cnigh_2008/Shade/012_zpsde94c54d.jpg

And being loved by mom and dad
http://i415.photobucket.com/albums/pp239/cnigh_2008/Shade/020_zps95ba937a.jpg

It hurts me to watch my husband and kids go through this. None of them have ever lost a loved one before. My DH is really missing his best friend.

My kids are asking lots of questions while grieving which is good.

I know there’s a Shade-sized hole in your lives right now; my heart is aching for all of you.
But know that you did absolutely the best you could have done for her and now she’s romping about like a young healthy girl!

I’m just checking back…I know how hard the first weeks are. I know, for me at least, the kind comments on COTH really helped me emotionally when I lost one after another last year and the year before.

We’re thinking of you and Shade.

thinking of you. It is hard because you think you hear them, you still hear their steps on the floor, you come home (in my case) and there is no dog wagging his tail to welcome you. You look at other people walking their dogs with envy. You wonder if you will ever put yourself through this kind of grief. (((hugs)))
I hope your vet showed more empathy than my FORMER vet who chatted all along about how she could afford to send her parents on an European vacation while my dog was being put to sleep. And then presented me with a $400 bill …
I never set foot in her clinic again. My grief turned to anger towards the vet… which helped me a little bit.