[QUOTE=CrankyHorse12;8711847]
P.S. When I’m done with trainer I’m going to mail her a hard copy of this thread.[/QUOTE]
Good for you. And you could pay her only for the expenses that you think are warranted such as the day board etc., and explain why in detailed notes… or in person (although I do not think she deserves that).
She is going to be so disappointed that she grossly underestimated you, and even more disappointed that her potential gravy train just ran dry.
People!
OMG My wish is to have video of her reading every single comment!!!
Holy crap. I was just texting with a barn friend about the show and she mentioned that on a given day, after I left TWO people were going to show my horse (one being the rider who did show the horse, and then an adult). WTF. They didn’t end up showing that day due to bad thunderstorms that flooded everything. I find this out now because I haven’t mentioned how pissed I am to others–this friend knows I’m not happy but it’s not like we’ve been having protracted conversations about this. And I swear I’m not bringing this into this thread to make it more juicy. No words.
I also emailed owner/trainer that I’m definitely riding tomorrow so let’s hope he’s in decent shape and untouched for the day. I’m going in the late morning so I can speak to owner, so if she has other plans for him, they’ll be quickly broken!
You all remain awesome with your feedback. I’m going to have some wine.
I’m going to take up running instead. Because all that involves is a relationship with my feet and a $120 pair of sneakers.
[QUOTE=CrankyHorse12;8711884]
I’m going to take up running instead. Because all that involves is a relationship with my feet and a $120 pair of sneakers.[/QUOTE]
Knees. Don’t forget your knees. They will have a say in the matter, either now or in the future. ???
and your back might want to chime in as well.
Stick with the Horses.
didnt read all the pages but in addition to everything else this little item stood out way back on page two:
She also said I owed multiple days in training because she coached another rider on him during a hack so that if I decided to show later in the week, he would be schooled.
She is charging you for coaching someone else! on the horse multiple times -during a hack- and after the fact- and only mentioned when you asked about the other charges. I would be moving on.
[QUOTE=lintesia;8709614]
It is a completely different scenario than that at 3-Day Events, Dressage shows, and H/J schooling shows.[/QUOTE]
So all those professional grooms in the eventing world are just there to look good? When the rider jumps off at the end of the cross country course and hands the horse off to the groom … well… we are not really seeing that happen right, because they do all their own care.
It is not completely, let alone completely, different in other places. There is always various levels of do it yourself and full care. Maybe it is not something you do, but there are others in the world that do.
(And for the record, I do all my own care. I clean my own stall, I feed my own horse and fill my own water buckets, etc.)
OP, I hope things go well today. Since you really like this horse I am keeping my fingers crossed that the trainer realizes a mistake was made and starts apologizing and fixing before you even have a chance to say anything.
OP, wishing you the best of luck with the conversation with the trainer.
[QUOTE=RugBug;8711937]
Knees. Don’t forget your knees. They will have a say in the matter, either now or in the future. ???
and your back might want to chime in as well.
Stick with the Horses.[/QUOTE]
Eh, horses will kill those too.
Maybe consider golf or tennis.
I’ve read the whole thread and agree with the others: THIS IS F’N NUTS! Almost 15 years ago I unfortunately was at a show barn where I was chased out after not too long because I didn’t want to show enough for their tastes. This was the exact behavior they’d pull for the majority of their clients, boarders OR leasers. They were all drinking such massive amounts of blue ribbon KoolAid that the ridiculous bill padding and BS excuses rarely so much as even raised an eyebrow to the other folks. It was really sad.
But you know what was even worse? There were 80 horses at that time and it’s expanded since then but the top clients would buy these $250,000-400,000 horses sight unseen for their teenaged daughters to pilot around. They’d dope these horses and others up with so many meds that they could hardly walk sometimes. Winning was absolutely required and instead of giving the horse a few days off or a couple weeks off showing, they’d bute it more and have the farrier out at midnight to come up with a shoe setting so horsey could go in its class the next morning No. Matter. What! With one person specifically I saw them, in the span of 1 yr, lose THREE horses to catastrophic injuries as a result of this barbaric treatment. They’d explain to the young rider that Dobbin broke his leg and he couldn’t be saved but that’s part of showing… OMFG!!! I happened to walk into the barn late one night and stumbled upon this exact conversation. Horse was gone by next morning and insurance money was used to buy the next one. I don’t know how any of these people can sleep at night. Awful.
OP: give us the nitty gritty of your talk with this trainer. Doubtful she will change her colors for you. Can you stop payment on the checks from the show? She won’t EVER give you money back from overcharging. Never in a million years. Play a little dirty and only pay her what she’s owed - unless of course she has a change of heart, apologizes on her knees and such. Otherwise I’m sure we’d all love to hear the other items you’ve omitted due to too much detail. The things you said made your situation even worse!!! Hang in there - there ARE barns and trainers that value you as a client. Suggest you start a new thread ISO one in your region so other cothers can steer you to a new and happy place 
I wish we could have push notifications for threads like these. :lol:
And yet you stayed for a minimum of 1 year, and when it happened to horse #1, you stayed, horse #2…still stayed, horse #3…???
And you still had to be “chased out”…???
[QUOTE=meupatdoes;8712325]
And yet you stayed for a minimum of 1 year, and when it happened to horse #1, you stayed, horse #2…still stayed, horse #3…???
And you still had to be “chased out”…???[/QUOTE]
So we dodged the houseguests, so far …
… but, unfortunately, we’re at the point where posters decide to start taking shots at each other that have nothing to do with the topic …
… which is a thread downer and not interesting or educational (to me anyway) …
… it would be nice to postpone that derail until we hear more about how the OP is doing, since the action is still on, but probably out of luck on that.
dang
[big sigh :o]
[QUOTE=OverandOnward;8713277]
So we dodged the houseguests, so far …
… but, unfortunately, we’re at the point where posters decide to start taking shots at each other that have nothing to do with the topic …
… which is a thread downer and not interesting or educational (to me anyway) …
… it would be nice to postpone that derail until we hear more about how the OP is doing, since the action is still on, but probably out of luck on that.
dang
[big sigh :o][/QUOTE]
You need to reread the post. It said the poster was chased out cause she didn’t want to show enough for trainer. She said she saw other clients who lost several horses and still continued with trainer.
Edited - OverandOnward we must have posted at the same time. I wrote a nice reply to Meup answering her sharp doubts/criticisms, but have removed it for the sake of the thread!
[QUOTE=meupatdoes;8712325]
And yet you stayed for a minimum of 1 year, and when it happened to horse #1, you stayed, horse #2…still stayed, horse #3…???
And you still had to be “chased out”…???[/QUOTE]
You need to reread the post. Poster said she was chased out due to not showing enough. She said she saw other clients who “lost” several horses and continued to show with client.
[QUOTE=OverandOnward;8713277]
So we dodged the houseguests, so far …
… but, unfortunately, we’re at the point where posters decide to start taking shots at each other that have nothing to do with the topic …
… which is a thread downer and not interesting or educational (to me anyway) …
… it would be nice to postpone that derail until we hear more about how the OP is doing, since the action is still on, but probably out of luck on that.
dang
[big sigh :o][/QUOTE]
Yea! Don’t scare the OP away people! I want closure on this one! I’m still upset over the lackluster ending of the Crazy Crayola Trainer!
Thanks for the false hope, thread bumpers! (-:
I’ll be back to tell you what happens! For now, this is an anticlimactic post–I went to barn, trainer was not there (to be fair, I didn’t set a rigid appointment but rather asked her over the fence if we could speak on Monday). I did get out of work late, which might be why I missed her. I’m gonna email and set something concrete up.
Carry on…
I am so sorry about this bad situation. I tend to agree with other posters who are shaking their heads at the trainer’s behavior.
But: I think there is a good lesson in this for everyone, which is that you should always ask about the financial details of an arrangement before agreeing. It’s often awkward to ask for estimates and splits ahead of time, but I always do it precisely because I don’t want there to be a surprise or misunderstanding on the back end.
If OP wants to give the trainer another chance, then I think that should be the substance of the conversation: Not a nickel-and-dime accounting of this incident, but instead a more generous acknowledgement that this didn’t go down the way she expected and she wants to make sure that there are no more such surprises in the future. That’s a great segue to the other rider showing the horse at an upcoming show. I think it’s fine to simply say no. I think it would also be acceptable to say that, yes, that’s ok, if the rider pays everything including a pro-rated portion of the lease.
If you want to leave the barn, then, fine, go to war over the prize money. But if you want to stay, then I’d focus more on setting clear expectations for the future.
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