True. My older pony was a saintly walk/trot pony, and really wonderful for trail rides with me on foot leading him. However, he had a lifelong love of throwing a mild buck into most canters. My son rode him from 2 to 9 (pony was in his 20’s to 31), but did not ever canter or jump him until he was 7 and had more control of his own body. One time the pony accidentally broke into a canter on the longe line and launched my 4 year old, who bit his lip. I told him the pony must have tripped or something because I didn’t want him to be scared because he bucked.
My niece started riding in front of me at 2.5yrs. She’s almost 6 now and loves the barn. Spring/summer/fall riding is more fun (it’s cold in Canada!), but I do take her out leading her for walks up and down the paths in the fields even in the winter. She can ride on her own at the walk, and goes over her jumps (rails), but needs help trotting. Some days she wants to ride, other day she wants to just feed carrots, groom a bit, and over ‘her’ horse in sparkles. The sparkles are really funny to watch. The other day she thought spreading the fresh shavings around the stall was just the best, then while we turned in she collected icicles off the fences and visited the minis in the paddock. She thought it was so much fun! She doesn’t do formal lessons, and as much as I want her to ride, I don’t push riding. If she wants to just play with the dogs and kick shavings around, great.
Somedays she rides for 10 minutes, wants to get off so she can jump the jumps. So we are very informal.
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I have nothing to add, I just wanted to say that this all sounds super adorable!
I have 2 kids - now 18 and 20. The 18 year old was never interested in horses but liked tractors. The 20 year old was very different. He loved coming to the barn and playing. Being led around inside and outside. Grooming, talking to them. He did take some lessons but not from me and very clear that he just wanted to play. He was about 12 when one day the BM had to leave in a hurry. We finished stalls, fed, turned in, cleaned tack. Oh, he said “that was the best day ever”. I think you have to let them take the lead (see what I did there?).
It’s about having fun and sharing interests - lessons, showing - up to them to show interest.
My niece is turning 4 this July. Up to this point she has done 5-10 “rides” on her saintly aged haflinger pony, where I lead the pony and her mom walks beside her. Essentially they have been glorified pony rides, but she’s learned verbal commands like walk, trot-trot-, and whoa. I’m hoping this summer we might venture into more steering independently at the walk but we will just see where her interest, balance, and physical capabilities are at.
So far she seems to really like it. I took her pony out bareback the other day and she was watching saying “Aunt CWNSF, It’s my turn! My turn to ride Monty (her pony)” 
