how large is your barn…? I mean how many employees/workers and how many boarders?
absolutely I would not take action without proof. totally agree. BUT. If it was MY barn I would arrange a meeting for all boarders and workers to attend together. I’d be glib and direct and express you want to assure all of your employees and your boarders are important to you and when issues arise you want them to come to you and express any concerns and then you’ll bring in any other parties involved in their concerns to have a discussion with all of you present together to discuss.
set that standard and stick to it without any other proof.
I think either of the above might meet the definition of sexual harassment. I would be very careful and might think about hiring a compassionate and experienced attorney for guidance. I would explain gently to barn worker and to boarder, separately, that I have hired a lawyer to pursue this as it is out of my area of expertise. I would state verbally and in writing, with a trusted friend or colleague or the attorney present, that your goal in hiring an attorney is to support and protect each of the parties.
If I didn’t have the bandwidth or the $$$ to hire an attorney, I’d definitely ask each of these parties to document their interactions and messages, as others have said, and decide from there. In the meantime, I’d arrange for boarder to never for one second be alone with barn worker.
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This does sound like it is going to be a lose/lose situation for you (and all the people involved). What a horrible position to be in.
@SuzieQNutter please tell me that after this person so proudly boasted about getting someone fired that the farm owner apologized and made it right with the worker.
Unfortunately, those with issues are often targets, partially for this reason.
OP, this sucks. There is no way to know what is really happening. Employee could be 100% blameless, boarder could be truthful…ugh.
Other posters have good advice.
Nope it was in a national magazine where you are paid for a secret story. I so hope the friend read it and realised as that would be karma.
Youve gotten good advice here but I think I’d add that when asking the boarder for the incriminating texts I’d also try to define for her her ideal outcome- is she looking for you to step in and say something to the employee (assuming her allegations are true), is looking to you that you are aware of the situation and would like a third party with her when she’s in the barn/no interaction with this person, or is she looking to have him fired?
I think her response will give you a better idea of how seriously she finds this behavior and will help you define what proof you’d need for each level of reaction to this situation. I had a groom who was inappropriate with me recently but I addressed it with him head on and let my trainer know. It never happened again and he apologized for crossing the line so I was absolutely fine interacting with him going forward. Reminder there are at least two cultures at play here…
Likewise, I would probably ask the employee to provide his messages so you can see both sides and confirm none are being doctored if you do not trust one of the sources
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Why do either of them have one another’s phone numbers? I’d want to see messages before doing anything. In the meantime, keep them separated.
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Excellent question!
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I also wondered. Are the owners numbers on the stall doors for contact? I also wonder why she didn’t just block him right away.
This is how my current barn operates. Owners phone number on stall in the event of an emergency
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