When I had my first senior gelding several years ago (senior as in adopted him when he was 31 years old…NOT sound to be ridden…just living out his days), I had a coworker (adult woman) come visit the farm and asked, “Oh - so that means I can come ride, right?”
I think it’s a non-horseperson thing to assume that ALL horses are 100% broke and safe and sound to ride.
We also have to put up with the families out for a drive in the country who can’t read signs such as No Tresspassing, “Caution”; Electric Fence and DO NOT ATTEMPT TO PET THE HORSES. Yes, I had to put a sign up saying that! Hubby suggested a sign saying BEWARE OF ATTACK HORSE 
I looked out the window one Sunday afternoon last summer just in time to see a 4/5 year old grab the hot wire so she could climb into the paddock! No clue who those folks were and mom & dad BOTH knew I was not a happy camper. :no: The kid starts screaming at the top of her lungs, my mares start running and kicking everything in sight, dad cusses at me while hustling them all back in the car and off they go.
I got that once a few years ago from a guy who then went on, after my saying I didn’t have any suitable horses, to convince me what a GREAT rider he was and how he rode all the time, even though he was extremely overweight (300+) and out of shape - not to start the fit but heavy debate, but believe me, he wasn’t in any way fit. But he replied, “But I REALLY know how to ride them. I’ve never found the horse that can get me off. I know how to deal with those mean ones.” :rolleyes:
At which point I stopped saying “no suitable horses” to people without credentials and started simply saying “no.”
lol these are great replies! I usually tell people I will be happy to pony them and explain what that means. I have not had one adult take me up on the offer as they feel it is demeaning for some reason…
I’ve found a smile and a firm “no” are all I need.
I don’t feel the need to explain myself, or give excuses as to why my horses won’t be ridden by anyone other than myself and my trainer.
Besides, what happens if someone says yes to your flippant remark about driving their car or their spouse?
Recommend a good lesson barn or trail horse place.
I just say no, I’ve worked to hard and my horse is way to sensitive now and I don’t want him to be messed up. That always works, and if it doesn’t I just say well you can come ride my other one but if you touch him with your leg he is going to take off bucking like a wild man.
OH! I have a good story :lol:
I was dating this guy quite a few years ago, who wanted to ride my horse. he said “I know how to ride, ive ridden before” blah, blah, blah
so, I finally agree and we go out on my old man (my old QH). we were just walking around the farm. we were on double. he was in the saddle and I was riding on back.
THIS guy kept kicking my horse in the ribs and saying “GET UP!” :mad: I tried being polite so I said “he doesnt know that command”… his reply was “WELL, hes GONNA know that command!” :eek: (in a stern voice)…
to make a long story short… he ended up walking back to the barn by himself, while I rode my horse back… told him “dont let the door hit you in the *** on the way out”… never saw that guy again…
say what you want about me… but DONT! mess with my horse… THATS RIGHT… :yes:
[QUOTE=trubandloki;3790674]
To us horse people it does sound horribly rude that people invite themselves over to ride our horses. But I think to a non-horse person whose only horse knowledge is seeing them on TV it probably does not seem like a big deal.
I usually go with ‘sorry, no, I do not give pony rides’ or such.[/QUOTE]
I agree, most don’t realize what a personal thing a horse is.
How about this one… A friend had a co-worker ask if she could borrow a couple of my friend’s horses so that she and a friend of the friend could take them on their vacation out of state. They thought that would be so much fun. 
They were going to only be gone two weeks.
[QUOTE=ImJumpin;3790656]
I’m all for the “when can I drive you car/boat/motorcycle” type response. Problem is, people don’t understand horse riding whatsoever. They don’t understand the cost and dedication involved-- or the skill. So even the car response might be a bit off.
Oftentimes people will ask how much my horse cost-- a bit rude, but I don’t think they know better. They are just being curious. Here is where cars come in handy-- explain horses are like cars. You can buy an old beater for $600 all the way through a million plus Bugatti.[/QUOTE]
I think I’m the one who started the car comparision about 10-11 years ago when I was asked at work
“How much does a horse cost.”
“About as much as a car.”
"What kind of car?
“What kind of horse?”
“Well, how much did your horse cost?”
“Mine is not for sale. If you want a horse give me a budget and I will help you shop. If I find one you like I get 10% commission.”
This person BTW didn’t care about horses but was sizing me up by my disposable income. I’m pretty sure that is what most non horse people are doing when they ask that - don’t under any circumstances tell them- they will use it against you in the future.
I get the how much does a horse cost question all time. my pat answer “it’s not the buying it’s the keeping and maintenance. hard labor twice daily early in the morning late at night. buying a winter’s worth of hay, feed, hoof trimming … purchase price is virtually inconsequential.”
insofar as the “I’d like to come over and ride your horse some time.” statement I follow the same line of thinking and offer “well what can you trade for it? I need some pasture work done this weekend spreading manure or hay will be delivered next month I could use some help stacking.”
if they actually pursue it from there I just giggle and say “I’m sorry I don’t really let anyone ride my horses.”
I have a handful of reasons prepared, but thankfully I haven’t had to use them often. It’s usually some combination of 1)she’s too short 2)she’s not kid safe 4)she’s only suited for a more experienced rider 3)she’s not especially friendly 4)she’s boarded an hour away 5)My BO’s insurance only allows me to ride
I am starting to think she might do ok with a less experienced rider, as she has really been polishing her halo lately, but frankly, I really don’t want to mess with it. She is kept so far away that it would be a major hassle to coordinate, and she is at a training barn and it would feel really inappropriate to bring a guest and be giving them a pony ride. We would be in the way, and unpredictable things can happen when you have a ring with a couple of babies in it. She is not really a cuddler, so it’s not like they could brush on her for hours, so it would basically be an hour drive each way to give her a carrot and a pat. She would nicker very cutely and make adorable faces, of course, but even if I consider that to be worth an hour’s drive, I’m not sure that the average guest would agree.
ETA - I actually do wish I had a horse that was suitable. There are some sweet little girls at my church who have expressed interest in learning to brush and take care of horses, and I had to say no. I would kill to have my own place so I could have a nice older horse for these girls to come fuss all over. I would have died of happiness when I was a kid if I could have had access to a horse to brush and look after, and I would be thrilled to provide that opportunity to some of the nice kids that I know. Maybe in a few years…
Oh good lord, why the need to explain? Just say no.
I don’t know but it’s never bothered me.
I guess because I haven’t had a horse since I was 12, yet remained “horse crazy” until I bought MY first horse at 38-39. I guess those that have had horses all their lives don’t know what it’s like to be horse crazy and not have anywhere to go or know what to do and then you find out a co-worker has a horse, Woo woo!
I am lucky enough to have a few horses that are good beginner horses, and when people do come to ride they sign a waiver and wear a helmet and ride in the round pen for me to watch them and to give them “mini-lessons” and then go to the arena and then maybe on the trails.
I want to encourage more people to get interested and involved with horses. I think we need more of us.
Now I don’t get asked alot, and most people don’t actually take me up on the offer, especially after being told about the waiver and the helmet and riding in the round pen.
I don’t find it offensive at all, I guess I can understand, being as I have only had horses again for about 6 years. I don’t try to insult them, they just don’t understand what being a horse owner feels like so I try to remember that. I love my horses, they are my joy, what I live for, but I don’t expect them to know that.
Coworker “When can I come ride your horse?”
Horse Owner “When can I come ride your husband/wife?”
Seems to do the trick. Unless they’re swingers :lol:
ETA: This response should be reserved for rude and/or ignorant people. Usually I just give them the “My insurance wouldn’t cover that” routine.
[QUOTE=equest;3790831]
Recommend a good lesson barn or trail horse place.[/QUOTE]
Trail barn we went to last weekend was telling us some stories while we were out on a ride. It was just Andrew and I and the trail guide. I never say, “we know how to ride” if I go to a trail ride place. I merely say, “We’ve ridden before” and let them judge. Before we mounted, and I said, “We’ve ridden before,” I could see one of the workers kind of give a sigh like, “oh great” until we mounted, and she could see we sorta knew what we were doing
Some of the great stories:
People trying to tip the trail guide $100+ to let them (the tippers/riders) “run” their horses. Trail guide said horses and my job are worth more than money.
“We’re accomplished riders. We ride all the time.” Get to a point in the trail where you have to turn left or right and ask, “How do we make him turn?”
Horse “trainers” that try to convince the barn workers to allow them to ride the trail with the horse wearing the rope halter they currently have on him…even when the trail guide says, “he doesn’t know how to ride in a rope halter” and “that’s against my boss’s policy.”
People paying $30 for a one-hour ride…saying $30 is “too much” and it should be 2 hours for that much.
“Horse people” asking him if the horse (Belgian [gelding]) is the mother of the [pony] filly.
[QUOTE=Chardavej;3791014]
I guess because I haven’t had a horse since I was 12, yet remained “horse crazy” until I bought MY first horse at 38-39. I guess those that have had horses all their lives don’t know what it’s like to be horse crazy and not have anywhere to go or know what to do and then you find out a co-worker has a horse, Woo woo![/QUOTE]
I didn’t buy my first horse until I was 20, but I was horse crazy since I was born. It doesn’t “bother” me, but anytime someone assumes something irks me slightly. Like I said, I think most non-horsey people (as in those that aren’t horse knowledgable) think Horse=Ride.
Non-horse people don’t understand that asking to ride someone else’s horse is Not Done, and I don’t know why the should be expected to understand. I mean, if you asked to pet their dog, they wouldn’t be offended, so why is the horse any different? (And don’t forget, plenty of people WILL loan their cars to friends, so that’s not exactly the best analogy…)
If I have a horse who’s suitable, then I let them ride. Actually, one of my horses came to work this summer, and lots of my coworkers “rode” him. :yes: (I use quotation marks because, honestly, most non-horse people are thrilled just to be led around in a circle at the walk. ;)) Of course, he’s as close to bombproof as they come and knows that when a beginner is aboard, MOM is in charge.
One of my coworkers has asked to ride my other horse (Jude - the uber safe one - is leased out), and I’ve explained that she is younger and greener, but if she (coworker) would like to come out and be led around (Tari was a showmanship horse first, and will not do anything wrong while I’m at the end of the leadline) we can do that. She is still interested, and doubtless we’ll get around to it one of these days.
Sure, some people are jerks - but most people are just honestly interested in riding a horse, and by giving them the chance (if you have a suitable horse, of course) you may give someone some enjoyment in life, and I see that as a good thing. :yes:
[QUOTE=Coreene;3791001]
Oh good lord, why the need to explain? Just say no.[/QUOTE]
Saying no outright with no explanation can come off rude or blunt. I’m not opposed to this when the person who is asking is being rude or inconsiderate.
The vast majority of people who have ever asked me are genuinely interested, hopeful that they might get a fun opportunity, and would be thrilled for the chance for a ride. They don’t think they are owed anything, they aren’t being presumptuous, they just think it sounds like a lot of fun (which it is!) and something they would love to try if they could. It is not them personally that is making me say no, so I would rather explain that. If circumstances were different, I would let them come out, so why not say that instead of just giving a negative answer that would make them feel uncomfortable and embarrassed for having asked?
I used to smile sweetly and give some lame excuse about whatever to try to blow it off, but they never seemed to get it. I just reallly don’t have any beginner appropriate horses. One even most trainers won’t ride, and I have too much time and $$ invested in the younger one, and she deserves to be treated better than every yahoo bouncing around on her anyway.
So here’s what I do:
I say, sure anytime. I need you to bring me a signed waiver, a completed medical information sheet, three contact persons names and numbers for emergencies and a copy of your health insurance card. And then I hand them a little packet that i usually have in my purse. And you need to wear boots and a helmet, the tack store is at such and such street.
Usually I never hear about it again.
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