Why I feel like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman

[Bebe_Falcon1]

@Scaramouch

it sounds like the OP would be a complete beginner in this realm who just wants to have fun without the time to learn the fundamentals, of say, how to harness and learn all the equipment. Not saying it’s impossible but please don’t get this person’s hopes up…

See, I respectfully disagree with that statement. I have two young children that demand a lot of my time but I still managed to learn the fundamentals … during COVID no less, where I relied very heavily on books and online resources to establish the basics (figuring out all the parts of a harness, how to put to, safety considerations, etc.) until I could connect with a coach and put everything I learned into practice.

I think this kind of attitude (generally speaking) is why more people don’t consider combined driving, because they see the different equipment as being a barrier of sorts. Personally, I wish I’d considered it earlier

[awaywego]

The OP has indicated that she is looking for a program where the horses are tacked up for her rides. No matter how fast I have done it, there is no way that hitching a pony goes faster than tacking up (particularly if one first has to learn how to do it ), and if the OP doesn’t have time to tack-up a horse to ride, then I really doubt she has time to hitch a pony.

at the turn this thread has taken

[OverandOnward]

@Limerick

Wait….”your mother read COTH for years which is how you know of the site”. And you’re in your fifties? Jinkies…

@fivestrideline

Was COTH forums even around 70-80 years ago? The internet certainly wasn’t

ETA: I don’t think being aware of COTH mag/publications = knowledge of Internet forums. Actually I KNOW it’s not. I smell a troll.

Oh come on. Her mother didn’t start and stop reading during OP’s childhood - clearly. LOL

OP’s mom could still be reading COTH if she’s still alive, which she easily could be. Someone in their 50’s can easily have a parent in their 70’s and as we know, 70’s is the new 50’s or 60’s for many people.

Many riders in their 70’s are out there. Some are on COTH. And COTH has been around for 20+ years or so.

[KellyT2]

OP - I’m no longer a rider, but live in Chester County. Join Chester County riders on Facebook. You will have many responses.

[SonnysMom]

I am roughly in your area so I am on Chester County Riders Facebook page. I am the northern part of CC though. I see a lot of people recommend Shadow Creek Farm in Chadds Ford. Their website lists a few horses available for partial lease. They have multiple trainers listed. It does look like there will be child lessons but it might be a starting point for you.

[Mander]

@OverandOnward

I wonder if you aren’t getting in your own way a bit. And there is a reason for that, some part of your brain is trying to tell you “hey wait there is something else to consider”.

Totally agree with this. I’ll try not to armchair psychologize too much, but OP, it sounds like you’ve got an excuse for everything, dare I say to the point of self-sabotage. If you want it as badly as you say you do, you’ve gotta put your actions where your mouth is, so to speak.

You emailed, but you don’t even have voicemail to take a call back. You won’t text because you don’t have time (I mean, can’t you just text during the time that you’re planning to use to go to the barn?!). I’ve seen a whole lot of (unconvincing) reasons you can’t do _______. The reality is, if it’s a priority to you, you’ll make it happen (even if it takes awhile, and you have to go about it in an unconventional way), and if it’s not, you won’t and that’s okay. Of course, some of us have the luxury to choose our priorities, while others of us don’t - I don’t know which category you fall into. But if it really is a feasible priority for you to have, you’ll set aside your excuses and take action to find a solution and make it happen, even if that solution includes some compromises.

[DMK]

I’m 60 and I’m the baby in my CDE family! I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m pretty sore after marathon, it’s exhilarating and hard, but given how many people are doing it later in their life, I’d like to think that it keeps us young!

And for your viewing pleasure, here’s the Gulch at Live Oak from my view!

loi22 gulch

[DMK]

Well of course one never learns to do it faster, do they? (Hard rolly eye). I mean ffs, I’ve tacked up and hooked up horses for decades, it’s not a break the bank difference in this day and age of shackles.

Look, is someone learning to drive going to hit Live Oak this year or next? No. And maybe not ever, because unlike the modern hunter shows, lower levels don’t show there. But is it reasonable to expect that if a person bought an experienced driving equine and boarded it with someone who gave them lessons and could work on fitness in between lessons, that they could enjoy and advance to competing in the lower levels? Absolutely. It happen all the time. I can name several trainers in my part of the US who have such clients, some even (gasp) fly in. And that program can be done a lot cheaper than entry level hunters, even with the airfare.

Obvs if you do it at a higher level there’s a time and/or money commitment, but please show me where that’s not true.

[2bayboys]

OMG @DMK I love everything about this, all the way down to your curly silver ponytail hanging out of your helmet. Where in the heck do I sign up and now I’m reading Fjord sale ads.

[Victorious]

At the risk of fully hijacking this thread…I too have just jumped into the CDE world from the HJ world! It is an absolute blast and incredibly eye-opening. I am having more fun with my mare than I thought possible and she is so darn willing to pull a squeaky cart around. I encourage everyone who has an open mind and a willingness to try new things to give CDE a try. I see my mare in a whole new light. I still ride her too. Thinking about training the real hunter to do CDE as well just cuz…

[Pokerface]

@DMK

Well of course one never learns to do it faster, do they? (Hard rolly eye). I mean ffs, I’ve tacked up and hooked up horses for decades, it’s not a break the bank difference in this day and age of shackles.

Look, is someone learning to drive going to hit Live Oak this year or next? No. And maybe not ever, because unlike the modern hunter shows, lower levels don’t show there. But is it reasonable to expect that if a person bought an experienced driving equine and boarded it with someone who gave them lessons and could work on fitness in between lessons, that they could enjoy and advance to competing in the lower levels? Absolutely. It happen all the time. I can name several trainers in my part of the US who have such clients, some even (gasp) fly in. And that program can be done a lot cheaper than entry level hunters, even with the airfare.

Obvs if you do it at a higher level there’s a time and/or money commitment, but please show me where that’s not true.

Ok, but have you read the entire thread? OP has stated MULTIPLE times that she does not even have time to tack up, which is something she already knows how to do. Harnessing a horse and tacking up a horse take about the same amount of time, and in my (admittedly not deep- my dad drives recreationally, but he’s a beginner), harnessing usually takes a bit longer. Are there programs where you can show up, drive, and then leave and someone does all of the prep and cleanup? Thats what she needs.

Also, OP stated pretty clearly that she NEVER intends to buy, so your example is moot, its not an option for her at this time. Buying would fix this problem in the hunter world as well, but she has said clearly that it wasn’t something she could do.

[Pokerface]

OP, as someone else has said up thread, you should really look into polo. They typically have horses tacked and untacked, and it runs the gamut of experienced players to people who have just started riding at all. It’s fun, you can tailgate it you want, and the time commitment for someone who can afford it is very flexible.

[DMK]

Like I said, there are trainers with programs that could address that issue. Honestly, if I applied my surface knowledge of polo to the same set of criteria, I would consider that ALSO to be a nonstarter, but I’m also a person who accepts that my knowledge on matters relating to polo is indeed superficial. After reading your post, I thought hey, I didn’t know that. That’s kind of cool, and that would also be a lot of fun. I grant you, that’s not the typical way to handle an internet post, but what the hell, I went with it.

If the op wants to do hunters, great, but if people want to mention other options because there is a whole wide world of other possibilities out there that, that is also equally wonderful. Things could happen. People could learn things. I learned something about polo. Twobays might want to expand her knowledge about driving. Call me crazy, but that seems like a good thing, not something worth shitting all over.

[DMK]

If you are serious, I happen to notice you’re in Northeast Virginia… I swear, I’m not stalking you, I just happen to read a post about boarding a horse where you gave your general location!

Anyway that fjord is Ironwood Xander, bred in Northern Virginia. And I know of a great upper level driver who lives in Virginia, who might be able to hook you up with some lessons.

[Pokerface]

Oh, I absolutely think driving would be a fun option for her to consider. But, the poster you responded to brought up a very valid point about the OP not having time to tack up/harness the horse, and rather than say “yeah, there are barns where beginner drivers can show up, take an hour lesson on an already harnessed horse, and then leave after the lesson.”, you told the poster that OP would get faster at learning to harness. If you know of some such programs, I am sure the OP would be thrilled to get the names. No one was shitting on the idea of OP learning to drive, simply pointing out that you missed an important part of the OPs list of requirements. Also, Twobays is NOT the OP.

[awaywego]

No one is shitting on driving. I would encourage anyone who is looking for a change of scenery to give it a try. Obviously it is not at the top of the list of my suggestions for the OP given the parameters of the situation for which she has sought advice.

I did my first CDE at Gladstone in 1996 with my former short stirrup pony. I recommend it as a second career for all adorable and outgrown ponies.

[Katherine1]

Regret that polo is too dangerous when you calculate risk of injury per minute of participation but I must say your ACD is absolutely adorable.

[DMK]

You make some valid points, I wasn’t responding precisely to the original post. I admit, it’s that kind of OCD that would make the forums a lot quicker to read, so I do thank you for that. But in in that spirit of precision (it obviously matters), I wasn’t confusing twobays with the op, I was responding to twobays post, also I was pointing out to awaywego that harnessing is a lot faster now that we have all the quick release technology.

But OP, if you have hung on through all of this you probably do have more time than you realized! Either way, driving is a lot of fun and there might be an opportunity that fits your needs, you just never know.

Regardless of which discipline you look into, you might want to try an approach of “this is my experience and this is my time constraint, I think I might have a long term goal of X, but since I haven’t even started yet that may not be realistic or it may not end up being a goal I want to pursue. Now that you have heard my story, can you help me and what would you suggest?” That might help break the ice and get a trainer talking about how they can help you. Then you can talk budget or alternatives.

[Katherine1]

Thank you. Just to clarify, it’s less self-sabotage and more life philosophy. We are proponents of digital minimalization, so while we know how to use technology, it occupies a space in our lives only to the extent that it is useful and productive. There are times, like when I am trying to find a barn, when lacking Facebook/Insta/etc and not carrying a cell are bothersome. But a solution generally materializes with time and patience.

If I get an email response and all the pieces fall into place - fantastic!

[Pokerface]

@Katherine1

Regret that polo is too dangerous when you calculate risk of injury per minute of participation but I must say your ACD is absolutely adorable.

So not to push polo (I don’t play, just have lots of friends who do), but you might be surprised. The lower levels don’t go that fast, and I rarely hear of rider injuries that are any more serious/often than hunters. But, I get your point- horses are dangerous enough, add in speed and weapons, and it can be a factor .

And thank you! He’s actually and ACD mixed with a Welsh Corgi, corgi shape with ACD face and markings. BEST. DOG. EVER.