When did I personally say not to share anything? I said how he is behaving is the issue. His actions are a serious problem in how he responded. And now being dead silent? Those are issues. I feel bad for those in your life and you if you think his behavior is acceptable
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What?
I have said that I do not agree with how this was handled.
I will go back to my post and add the word general after everyone so it is clear I am not talking about you specifically. Sorry for the confusion.
I personally feel that it is in everyone’s best interest for there to be no more social media posts about this dispute. Neither side needs to share more texts, neither side needs to give more information.
Both sides were out of line. No reason to make things worse.
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Part of me wonders if Boyd had been a woman who owned the facility if the responses would have been different. There are a lot of comments relating to their gender which tells me that they would. We should feel the same about a business responses no matter what their gender.
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Without speculating on previous beefs that may or may not exist, can you clarify where/how you think the client was out of line? Was it posting the texts?
While that is fairly cringe, I don’t see what her options were given that he went ballistic on her and even AFTER she responded promptly and politely he made not one, but two, facebook posts naming her and asking fans to call 911 on her (which would be a shameful waste of emergency services on top of being an utterly unhinged suggestion on his part). The bulk of over 750 rabid fan comments on one post alone are aimed directly at her.
She is also a professional in the same space and he did actual damage to her business and reputation with those insane FB posts.
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Two things that struck me.
1.) Was she actually in the wrong, should the story be true. In many instance for our southeast area where xc schooling is not pre-planned and a large group is going. We venmo after. Sometimes the client venmos trainer the lesson + fee, sometimes directly to the facility, and then its counting who paid facility vs trainer and sending that over. If I had done this for several years, I to would be surprised if the land owner tagged me after I paid him.
The detective in me is curious the 8:30PM of it all…
2.) I find it so confusing first the % of women, and if anything the need to comment on the Windurra post at all. If I have a hero I look up to and something occurs to them, do I think as a stranger, I should offer condolences and my explanation of a similar life experience. Do I hope it is going to be seen and really affect them in a positive way? Do I think my comment will connect me to that hero? For a friend or acquaintance yes, but I have to assume 99% of the commenters have never met this person. Can the commenters self-reflect and see they are part of the mob mentality, or is there just a sector of people who will always fall into that.
I mean these commenters are saying nasty things and they dont know the history or either individual personally. It’s quite scary.
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It has nothing to do with that.
Many people have first hand experience with both individuals involved in this mess. Sure… Boyd has many online fans. Overwhelmingly female. But that’s not really relevant. It’s just social media noise. What is relevant is the real life people in the eventing community in area 2. Most of which are on Boyd’s side.
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Very simple - Not paying for service at the time, like the sign says.
(Not speculating on previous agreements.)
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It has everything to do with it. A man can speak that way and it’s fine. If a woman speaks that way she’s unhinged.
I did not read that text exchange and think “he’s so right”. I read it and my stomach dropped because I’ve had so many men speak to me that way. If I’ve learned anything about people who speak that way, other people get that treatment too.
FWIW, I completely understand Boyd’s frustration with not being paid for services… I have a 5 unit apartment building, so I’m de-facto the Property Manager / Owner. I also experience irritation about people not paying, people thinking they can pay late, you name it. I’ve gotten every reason and excuse under the sun. I’ve had good and bad tenants, good and bad clients. I would still never speak to any human in the manner shown in that text exchange.
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Sounds like the Martin’s need a financial planner, or at least a better accountant. And a social media consultant. And maybe a little anger management.
Not a good look.
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This.
The end.
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There are just as many examples of social media firestorms involving males having a bad day, saying something ill advised, and a mob forming to accuse them of “toxic masculinity” or speculate about brain damage due to TBIs.
Just like a bunch of people have done in this situation.
That’s misandrist behavior.
Both misogyny and misandry are ugly and unnecessary.
But this situation is not actually about either of these things. It’s about 2 well known people in area 2. Boyd shouldn’t have made the first post. That was a bad decision. But… he took it down and apologized. People should get over it.
Oh, and pay for cross country schooling up front. Venmo or check. It’s not hard.
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THIS!
Its short sighted of him to cut this lady off for a month and not have that incoming coming in when he is up do this eyeballs in debt.
Sure, it sucks chasing people for money and as others stated, then his model needs to be changed. Pay in advance 24 hours before arrival for X horses coming to school regardless if they school or not. AND it needs to be Venmo or Paypal. That way there are monthly statements of the fees coming in making bookkeeping even easier for him.
Or he needs to start charging a late fee for past due schooling fees.
Was BM right in calling her out by name via SM. No, he could have left her name out of it while addressing policy change.
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Well, he apologised for making facebook drama with the first (worse) post, but basically doubled down now that everyone already knew the person’s name. And he’s allowed his fanbase to alternatively fawn over him/excoriate her for coming up to 800 replies now.
Not anywhere does he apologise for the way he acted, just for the first post which he then nominally anonymised with the second.
If he wanted to look decent and undo some of the harm he’s done to his nice guy rep, he’d clarify that they way he spoke to her was unacceptable in any setting, esp professional, call off his fans, turn off comments, settle it privately, and then make a show of how two professionals can overcome personality challenges and emotional outbursts and move forward.
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I don’t think Boyd or Courtney care one bit about the social media noise.
And I don’t think he made the first post in an effort to start a social media brouhaha with random fans who live and ride in a totally different area.
The point was to let everyone in the LOCAL area who regularly schools at Windurra, and is able to recognize Courtney on sight, know that she is not welcome on the property for the next month straight.
Out of curiosity, do you personally know either of them? Have you done business with either of them? Or are you just another member of the social media group fixating on one side or the other of this for extraneous reasons?
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Noting the double standard (men can speak that way, women cant) is not misandrist.
Calling out a man’s bad behavior is not misandrist.
Keeping a man accountable for his behavior is not misandrist.
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I read both posts. I don’t know either of these riders except for following their social and seeing them when I volunteer at area events.
I thought calling her out of social by name was uncalled for. Should have never happened, just the policy change or re-iterating current policy.
I don’t have issues with Boyd’s texts. They were direct and not nice, but not untruthful. This didn’t sound like his first run-in collecting payment from her and who knows if he has previously told her to pay differently and she responded in that way text, I might have lost my kind words as well. It was 8:30 at night when he sent the text and payment should have been sent prior to leaving the property. That’s a big gap when she left the property at 6:15 as per her texts.
Who knows what communication happened in person prior or prior texts.
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No one needs to know either person personally to take the very valid POV that such incivility as displayed in his text messages and his unhinged facebook posts is unacceptable. The POV that civility and professionalism matters is a valid and value-added stance to take and speaking publicly about the decline of those two characteristics in general and in our sport is important.
I am part of the horse sport community. I want to normalise NOT normalising professionals who will not control their emotions. That is an absolutely valid reason to participate in the discussion on this small forum that is dedicated to the horse sport community.
Your suggestion that my voice is not valid is disturbing.
Speaking out against incivility in this society in this very particular day and age is not extraneous. Given the impact of SM on individuals, esp less famous/powerful individuals who become the target of a fandom, is not extraneous.
To suggest that it is speaks volumes.
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Calling the guy an example of toxic masculinity, speculating about brain damage, comparing him to some random crazy braider lady that has nothing to do with any of this, etc etc etc….
All because of a stupid post he made on Facebook … which he took down 20 minutes after he posted it?
I think the reaction and analysis of this is way over the top.
I understand finding the fact that he has legions of female fans online who positively react to everything he says on social media slightly annoying.
But come on. That’s irrelevant. And you know that the other party involved in this mess has her own issues. Everyone knows this.
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That comparison was specifically to show that when a woman goes off on clients via DM and then airs the dirty laundry via highly-emotional, one-sided SM posts, she gets called out, and rightfully so.
Here, most people want to brush it off, minimize it as ‘stupid’, praise him for taking it down when he really just re-wrote it without the name that everyone now already knew anyway.
In highlighting that you prove @beowulf’s point: he’s being fawned over while the braider lady is called out for both doing the exact same unacceptable thing.
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Speculating about the possibility of a TBI in a world class athlete who has had multiple documented falls in the last year and several (public) injuries is not out of this world. TBIs are a very real concern with horse professionals and there is a demonstrated correlation between irrational behavior and TBIs.
What I find over the top is that anyone in the horse industry would support someone speaking to someone else this way. The horse industry is so behind in terms of human rights to the point this type of treatment is normalized. This is a glaring example of it.
It costs nothing to be kind.
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