These are great! I think we should do a COTH Horrible Gift Exchange so that everyone can spread the joy of these gifts.
Must interrupt this hilarious litany of bad gifts to toss in a great one. 
Non horsey, but still.
I was at rehearsal last night, end of second-to-last rehearsal for the big concert with the opera and a few other collaborators (including me) this weekend. Last night was our first time with full orchestra. Dress rehearsal Saturday, performance Sunday. Intense doesn’t even start to describe last night. I would love to join the opera full time but unfortunately can’t add another group on current schedule as a constant commitment, but doing Christmas with them is a treat. This year: Saint-Saens’ Christmas Oratorio. Purr.
Anyway, we have been rehearsing for quite a while. Already established that concert outfit will be white tops, black bottoms. No problem; I can do that.
Screeching change last night. Apparently, “we” voted (when?? I don’t remember us voting?? Who is us??) to change to black on black. Long-sleeved, professional looking black top, so the singers will match the orchestra.
I was dead when I got home last night but remembered this morning and hunted for a long-sleeve, professional-looking, concertish black top in my closet. ACK! My sole long-sleeve black professional top was climbed by the kitten!! It has extensive long-sleeve shreds!! :eek: I looked for any substitute. I have my fancy spangle jacket from my community chorus. No way. In the stage lights, I’d look like a walking Christmas tree and stand out a mile. Short-sleeve black. Mom’s old black sweater.
I emailed stepmom at work. We vent to each other. Outlined the situation and asked if she thought the sleeve shreds would be noticeable on stage from the audience or if this was doomed to force me into buying a new top. I hate buying clothes and tend to have as few as possible and keep them for years and years. I detest shopping.
Long gap. She finally emailed back: When do you need it?
Me: Sunday. THIS Sunday. Last-minute concert attire change.
Her: What is your street address?
Me: ?? Address. Do you have a spare one from somebody? (We are NOT the same size, but I trust her efficiency so didn’t point this out to her).
Her: Rats! They couldn’t get it there until Monday. Hang on, I’m still looking.
Me: You’re trying to buy me one? That’s sweet, but I don’t think we have time to ship.
(Pause)
Her: Okay, here’s the plan. Thought about buying you one myself and expressing, but you’d probably like to try it on yourself, even though I know your size. They can vary a little. Will Moneygram you $$ this afternoon. (Store) in (nearest town with a selection of real stores to me) has the best deal and sounds like the best match. They have one in turtleneck for $$, one in button-down for $$, others if you don’t like those styles. Shouldn’t take you long. Merry Christmas.
The real gift was not only the shirt, but her sorting and streamlining the shopping experience for me, as while she loves shopping and will go to 10 stores to compare, she knows I hate it.
Love my stepmother. :yes:
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Well, I might be in the running for a bad Christmas gift…
DH told me he wanted to give me a ticket to fly home and see my mom.
Sounds good, right…
But…
While I am gone he and DS will destroy the house to which I will then return, only to repack my bags, and pack their bags for the spring break trip to the beach. :no:
(I am not even going into details how he told his mom about my girly problem and I had to field questions Tuesday night at the band’s Christmas concert from her and SIL…not even to mention how he spend 4 days worried sick…:mad:)
I know mine was disposed of, but methinks (like fruitcake) that there are really on 10 of these things and they just keep getting shuffled from one giftee to another. You have my sympathies :lol:
[QUOTE=zoehesed;2053634]
Edited to add something horsey… my Dad’s SO…bought me a “helmet”…it was about 2mm thick…fake velvet…and had an elastic band for a chin strap…that wasn’t removable…Couldnt sell it, couldnt give it away, couldn’t return it!!![/QUOTE]
Turn it into a planter or flower pot?
[QUOTE=crystalyoung1;6023202]
Next birthday a 9mm handgun![/QUOTE]
Kewl
OOO!!! I wanna play
Worst gift, yet non horsey- related came from my grandma on my dad’s side. To set the stage, I was 18 and my two younger girl cousins were 14 and 10. And, we all got the same things every year. I opened my “bag of fun” as we called them and pulled out one pair of granny panties- you know, the kind that come 3 in a pack and come boob-high? Well, I got a pair, and so did each of my little cousins. All the same size.
My worst horsey gift would have to be from my BF… he got me a coupon to go for a ‘riding lesson’… except it turned out to be for a 10 minute pony ride at a local farm. Well, at least he tried
Ugh, me too!
[QUOTE=nightsong;2053641]
I don’t remember who posted, but one o f our CoTH’ers got a little stuffed horse. The relative who brought it proudly proclaimed that it was made of real horsehide and hair. The CoTH’er’s little girl turned GREEN but had the manners to not say anything. They later gave it a humane burial in the back yard.[/QUOTE]
:eek: One Christmas my parents, of all people… gave me one of those horrid real horse hide things. Nasty, ugly tall model that couldn’t even stand up on the bent spindly legs. It had a skimpy horse hair mane and tail, and a cheepee cloth crummy saddle wrap deal with the pencil girth around his middle. Yuck. I tossed it in a closet for a few years and finally just threw it out with the trash. Shame on my folks!
one year before Christmas by MIL who I love and her mom,my husband’s Grandmother, who is unique, came to visit us, we lived in a tiny apartment with little space at the time.
His Grandmother came in with some wrapped presents and when they both came in we greeted them warmly and set the presents down and focused our attention on our guests not the presents.
This apparently insulted his Grandmother, we were I guess expected to jump up and down like unruly children and rip open the presents.
So when they left to go to the hotel she took the presents and we haven’t seen them since, my MIL said its just as well as they were huge and kinda tacky and we all still laugh about it.
She also at Christmas gives everyone the same thing, its kinda funny.
Not horsey, but I gotta sneak it in—my father’s second wife did his Xmas shopping for him and gifted me and my sisters with undies printed with the days of the week. She chose an emerald and diamond bracelet for herself.
[QUOTE=ohrebecca;6022656]
One gift I always thought was the worst was my grandma’s annual bag o’pistachios. Like, a 5 lb bag of them. These always got passed on to my mom. Come to find out - this year, when I’m 30 - I freaking love pistachios. All those wasted nuts… :no:[/QUOTE]
I was going to say how ecstatic I’d be to get 5 lbs of pistachios! :lol: I love love love pistachios!
I know I’ve contributed to this thread at least a few times over the years. Thankfully though, I really don’t get too many bad gifts. My mom is great at picking out clothes and jewelry. :yes: Whenever I get gift cards they are to stores I like.
One year in my work Christmas gift exchange - which was to be a $20 gift - I got a Christmas butter dish. Just a tiny little butter dish, not even in a box or anything. Dollar Tree sold the exact same item for, yes, a dollar.
By process of elimination I figured out who put it in. I was just glad she didn’t wind up with the $20 Target gift card I’d put in!
My step-mom FINALLY got it right this year. She asked me what I would like cash or a gift card. I said cash. That way i can buy something nice for big boy.
I REALLY like the custom Irish Saddle pad since I do have an Irish horse.
Wanted to say that this is the best COTH thread EVER. :lol: I may have said it before but it bears repeating.
I believe those ESS gifts are miniature versions of our airport statue:
I thought of another terrible gift I got, though it wasn’t for xmas, but my birthday. My then-boyfriend gave me, for my 21st birthday, his old Playstation. Because he bought himself a then-brand-spankin’ newly released Playstation 2. He also “gave me” about 15 burned - not original - games, most of which I had no interest in playing. I’m really glad we broke up.
On the other hand, today I got a GREAT gift. My uncle, with whom I don’t always see eye to eye (he’s extremely conservative, I’m … not), sent me a “do not bend” manila envelope along with my Christmas Card. I was worried that it’d be like, a signed photo of Rush Limbaugh or something, but it wasn’t.
A while back (a few months, maybe?) someone posted on COTH about some vintage horse photos from newspapers that were on ebay. Looking through them, I found one of a horse at a 1965 auction in Detroit. I immediately recognized the ceiling as being that of the dairy barn at the Michigan State Fairgrounds. My horse was boarded there for a few years when I worked at a h/j facility operating on the grounds; the dairy barn was where the arenas and stalls were set up. I just thought it was a really neat picture, and it had some historical ties to me, since Gabby lived there and it was only a mile from my house, as well as being memorable for me since I went to the SF every year until it closed. I had posted it on my mom’s facebook wall to show her, and I don’t know if she told my uncle I might like it for Christmas or if he just bought it on his own, but that’s what I got.
I was/am beyond touched, I still have tears in my eyes. It sounds like such a silly thing; it’s not an expensive photo, but it has such meaning to me. Even better, it’s the original photo with all the newspaper-ese language on the back about the mockup of the page. That’s cool to me too because it also speaks to my boyfriend, who’s a newspaper guy.
Just a cool, thoughtful gift. I love it.
Ok, I’ve got to jump in here. The gift is not horsey but it takes the cake as far as my bad gifts go. Once upon a time I was a punk rock girl with a punk rock boyfriend… This now long gone ex was incredibly cheap and a terrible gift giver… On our second Christmas together he bought me one thing. A calendar. But this was not your ordinary calender. You see, several of his punk rock guy friends (not the most attractive bunch either) worked at the local strip club at the front desk, the door, janitors, etc. They decided that after hours they would get together and take photographs of themselves pretending to be strippers in the strip club. They weren’t totally naked but many were nearly there, parading around with feather boas and all kinds of random things they must have found in the dressing room. They got the photos back and it was someone’s bright idea go to Kinko’s and have them turn the photos into a lovely little calendar that they would sell it to their friends for $10. And this was my present, my one and only present, from that incredibly thoughtful boyfriend.
Needless to say he has been replaced by a very sweet guy who gives thoughtful gifts or shops from my list… And buys me horse things sometimes, like the Horseware Newmarket tote bag that I just caught him shopping for that was on my Elfster list. Good boyfriend
Good grief, that thing is hideous! :eek::eek::eek:
You should see it in person. At night. With its glowing red eyes.
<shudder>
I had gone out & looked high & low and got my parents a bunch of nice Christmas presents. I received $20 in a card.
Apparently my retired parents who go out everyday to take the dogs to the park, go to the stores & meet friends at the coffee shop had tried to buy me a gift card to the coffee shop at 4pm on Christmas Eve but it was closed…
This thread is great.
Probably the worst horse related gift was when a secret santa gave me a random assortment of Western themed horse items (I’m a diehard hunter/jumper).
The best was when I was 10 and got my first pony, a man who worked as a cook at my parents restaurant who barely knew me, but knew a little bit about horses gave me a red halter and lead rope with brass fittings that looked perfect on my dark bay pony. Next to the pony, it was the best gift. That guy didn’t have to get me anything, and at the time, there was no online shopping, so he obviously had to go out of his way to get it. My parents were not horse people and had no idea what that gift meant to me. I mean, he was probably barely making ends meet and thought to get me something horse related, and something that I absolutely treasured beyond belief. I don’t even remember his name, but I do remember his kindness.
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