Definitely can relate to this.
2 Likes
Get it in writing. With signatures. You will be glad you did.
At the beginning of an arrangement, everyone is clear on what the arrangement is. But as the months go by, memories fade, memories adjust to suit people’s own wants. You don’t have to get an attorney since this is a fairly casual arrangement, just use some common sense in what you write up.
This is not so much a legal agreement as it is an ongoing reminder of what you both agreed to. It is amazing how memories can drift over time.
You can ask her about what is in the agreement and both of you can work out what is comfortable for all.
If she refuses to sign a written agreement, then no lease. She doesn’t ride your horse. A refusal to sign an agreement that she has input into is a red flag to her intentions not to honor the lease, in some way.
Include some sort of liability waiver. You can copy one, your trainer probably has one for her students that you can modify to be for you as the horse owner.
Specify that the $200/month is due whether she rides of not. No adjustments if she doesn’t ride at her time. You can offer to adjust if you cancel the ride for any reason. It’s your descretion if you want to allow her to reschedule a ride, but if you do, two things: a) she must give a minimum 24 hour notice of cancellations, and b) the missed ride has to be made up within three weeks, or it is forfeit. That will cut down on awkward situations that develop over time.
Have a monthly due date and a form of payment required, with payment at the beginning of the month. Cash, check, Venmo, you can offer multiple payment forms if you wish. Write out the options with things like what name to make out the check, and your Venmo address, etc.
Specify that either party can give the other party notice to end the lease, in writing. It can be immediately, or it can require 10 days or 30 days payment until the lease ends. If notice is not given but she just stops showing up, then no refunds or adjustments.
Specify not only her ride times, but also the duties that go with the rides. Grooming before & after. Hose spray at certain times of the year, in certain temps, whatever. Any fly spray, hoof treatment, what have you that should be done at the same time.
If there are any other do / do not rules that you want to have honored at every ride, include those. Such as, no cantering, must turn out in pasture, whatever she might not do correctly if not prompted.
Note that if she has particular questions and you can’t be reached, the trainer is the fallback. That way she isn’t making decisions on her own.
I can’t stress how important it will be in the future to get this in writing now. Dated. Signed by both of you.
All the best for a successful lease. You are being very kind to allow this lady to ride your horse, whatever the terms.
Also: Since she seems to be uncomfortable with communications by text, perhaps not getting the tone of what is texted, specify in the agreement that you will communicate regularly by that means. To keep her up to date of anything to be aware of about the horse, etc. Then do send communications two or three times a month so that she will be accustomed to it. Add in a lot of politeness as people do in letters, as that may be her expectation.
This x 1,000.
Don’t be ‘friends’ with this lady, just be polite in a friendly way. She is a manipulator of friends. The two of you have only one commonality, your saintly horse.
When people are allowed to ride other people’s horses without paying, without contributing anything to the horse’s upkeep, they have an unfortunate tendency to start feeling that riding this horse is their right. That an owner who takes over when they wanted to ride is impinging on their rights. It’s important to help keep everything in perspective.
Good luck! Hope all works out well! 
9 Likes
I would also be sure to explain to your trainer that your horse is only to be used on Mondays for this woman’s lesson. The trainer can’t be enabling the woman to swap riding days at will.
Quite honestly, at this point I’d be on the verge of telling this woman to face the fact that she’s got too much horse in her OTTB and should sell that one and buy herself something sweet and steady like your guy. Then she can ride her own horse whenever the heck she wants.
(But that’s just me. And I’m not in OP’s position.) 
18 Likes
I’m just surprised the trainer gets to use the horse in lessons whenever she wants - for free. Is that common? I’d expect at least a break in board, if nothing else.
9 Likes
I had a half lesser who thought she could allow anyone, whether they knew how to ride or not, ride my horse, a hot, reactive OTTB. Her boyfriend who is not a horse person wanted to and she was going to let him until I put my foot down. She got her panties in a wad over that and took back a sheet she had bought her. Then she used to loan out my equipment to friends at another barn without asking, she’d say “I hope you don’t mind but I loaned your side reins to so and so.” I said, yes I do mind, go get them and hounded her every day until she did. Found them thrown on the ground outside her stall.
9 Likes
Apparently some people seem have difficulty in understanding the difference between part leasing and part owning!
13 Likes
I don’t have any advice for this, but just want to chime in to commiserate. In my personal opinion, flaky behavior and horses should not mix. Yet for some reason, there’s a contingent of horse people out there who are obscenely, unapologetically flaky… it’s like there’s something about horses that seems to attract them. Or maybe it’s just that there’s something about horses that reveals a person’s true flaky nature 
But it’s my pet peeve.
6 Likes
My first question is what does this older horse really need?
It may be that allowing the trainer to use him for very beginner lessons (mostly walk-trot) once or twice a week helps keep him limber and is needed when the owner is away. So trainer doesnt pay but owner doesnt pay to have horse exercised when she is away.
Is the woman contributing to the horse’s welfare? Presumably the horse works a bit harder with her. These are more “miles” and wear and tear, not just loosening up. You need to evaluate the balance here. If this extra work is not needed for the horses health, I would tell her that I am lowering my horse’s work load as he ages. From now on, he will only be ridden by me or for very beginner lessons. YMMV
7 Likes
I think this statement by OP about says it all. When it is YOUR horse there should not be any questions not answered by this statement.
Far as compensation. $25 a ride is waaay low and now she wants more days without paying more? Does she use your saddle and other tack too?
If she gets a days use of the horse, she should be paying equal to one days board for that day. $25x30 days=750.00. If your board is less then that, its a fair price. If not, not so much…and what you pay monthly for vet, farrier and any extra feed and/or or supplements is not included.
Just think about that. Do you need to continue subsidizing her use of your horse now that you are ready, willing and able to resume a full riding schedule? Don’t sit and stew over losing control of who rides your horse.
13 Likes
OP, you sound like such a nice person–I seriously wish all the people whom I leased horses from were as lovely as you!
Just for context though…I was half-leasing a horse and the owner was out of the country. The barn owner did not like me, and once I asked to change one my days (as the only rider) because a blizzard was coming and I thought it would be good for the horse to be worked before being shut in for a possibly extended period of time and the barn was very difficult to get to in the snow.
She ripped. me. a. new. one. (about how entitled I was to want to change my days). Basically she felt if she granted the exception once, then I’d always be wanted to be changing, even under those circumstances.
Regardless, I think maybe you very kindly laid it on a bit too thick that this woman was doing you a favor getting your horse worked when you were away, and now she thinks it’s a “favor” to you always to ride your horse. Sometimes riding instructors when they want to give praise can say something like “I’ve never seen him trot so well” and the rider can take it very literally that they’re doing something magical with the horse and have a special bond.
My half-leases on non-fancy horses going back to 2014 were always $350+ a month for 3 days a month, before lessons, again for context. I also wonder if because the lease is so cheap the woman isn’t valuing what a steal she’s getting.
7 Likes
Yeah…kind of wonder how much trainer input has gone into the situation. Trainers always have an inevitable conflict of interest between whats best for horse and whats best for trainers wallet. Trainer may at least have planted the seed of showing and more riding days if not actively pushing the idea…trainer can make more money off this part leaser then they can off OP.
Good, honest trainers know this and are very careful not to fall down that rabbit hole. Other trainers can and do take advantage of the naive and passive in their barns.
4 Likes
The trainer for a person who part leased my current horse thought I would move the horse to her barn so lessor could take more lessons on my horse. I don’t think she knows how leases work, especially 2 day a week leases.
3 Likes
Reading through all these comments, which I agree with for the most part, it strikes me that you don’t have to give the woman a reason if you want to terminate her lease/lesson. Your horse, your rules. Don’t feel guilty. She has her OWN horse, it’s not your problem if she can’t ride it. You are being too nice
18 Likes
Is the trainer compensating you for using him in kids lessons? He/ she should be and if not you need to get it.
3 Likes
Honestly the only way that I would let her ride more is if she took a second lesson with the trainer. The women has made it very clear that she is unable to communicate in a reasonable way and she is not interested in following your wishes when it comes to your horse. If the trainer is as reasonable as you think she is you should be able to work out a small payment from her for that second lesson. If you can’t do that than leave it at one lesson and be done.
6 Likes
Been there. Same lessor, at one barn I noticed a card on the bulletin board addressed to my lessor. After several months and it hadn’t been taken down, I took a look and inside was a christmas card addressed to (Lessor’s name) and my horse’s name! On top of that, the person it was from kept her own horse there and asked Lessor about riding/training my horse and Lessor couldn’t understand why I said no. I think she was confused who actually owned my horse. She had her own horse, I don’t want someone screwing around with mine and there are no free rides.
6 Likes
Damn.
That’s some inflated and emboldened sense of entitlement there, wow.
IMO the OP should bar access to her wonderful horse save some light weight kids who will demand next to nothing from him – and for the love of God, make the trainer pay you for his use! He doesn’t “need the exercise” that badly - and most horses his age are retired. I do understand your desire for him to have some exercise and stimulation, but the older lady with the bloated sense of entitlement? Kick her to the curb. She clearly neither values nor respects your generosity, and doesn’t give a damn about the horse other than as providing a way for her to continue to ride, essentially for free!, when she already OWNS her own horse.
The fact that she bought a completely inappropriate horse should be on her! You are not there to provide her with a suitable mount - at your expense.
She is a user, and you and your horse deserve better.
Maybe I’m just extra cranky because I too am very nice and generous, and people like us get taken advantage of all the time. It’s NOT okay.
Best of luck, OP! 
14 Likes
