#1 reason why you don't always share that you are a horse person

[AHC]

Why is it that as soon as you tell a non horse person that you ride, they feel compelled to tell you about their riding experiences… or that they hate horses.

After showing my boyfriend at the time a horse show video of me doing the A/A hunters on a lease horse, he said… But those jumps are so small, looks like anyone could get over them.

This horse was not an easy ride, and it turns out he was a stopper (since no one told me, he didn’t stop with me). I told this guy that anytime he wanted, he could come to the barn and try to jump this horse over one 3’ fence and then we could talk about how easy it was to jump. No surprise, he never came.

[FairWeather]

OH, Im sure you all have gotten the old…

Um, yeah, I have a horse…

current moron: What are you, Rich?

Or, why not ride a motorcycle instead?
Oh god.
FairWeather

[DH1]

This year’s favourite…

After multiple years of questioning from a quite well meaning relative about horses we have evolved through:

1. You mean it doesn’t pull ANYTHING? Not even a plow?

2. You actually like getting dirty?

3. Sooo…dressage tests are kind of like following a road map crossed with ballet steps crossed with a rectangular shape like a hockey rink?

4. How does the horse remember the whole show (a.k.a. test) all by iteself?

Now I pause, because that was last year’s question. The answer was something to the effect of the rider TELLING the horse the direction, speed, etc. with a brief explanation of the concept of aids.

So, this year’s question (keep in mind she had been stewing nearly 10 months on it) was:

5. What language does your horse speak? Do you have to TELL it how to go in English, French, German…?

I wait with baited breath for the infernal question she will be saving up for Christmas this year!

[ponyperson]

It’s Patrick, are you from the Pensacola/Niceville/Ft Walton area. I’ll tell you my last name eventually if need be!

[SaddlePad]

I’ve been asked all of those questions (including ponyperson’s orgasm question). I just usually tell them that I do exactly what’s on TV and they should look for me the next time it’s on. I’ve also recently been asked TONS of questions about Eric Lamaze (do u know him? is his horse on cocaine too? etc, etc, etc, etc). It’s sooooooo funny!!

[Black_Market_Radio]

Ahh yes, the elusive “orgasm” question! About a year ago or more, there was a clip shown on ET that showed a girl [I]really[/I] enjoying her riding experience if you know what I mean! It was supposed to be a scene from some new show, but, needless to say, that scene was pulled as they got bombarded with negative feedback on it.

I still had to answer to a few people, who unfortunantly had seen the clip! I got a lot of “So, NOW I know why you like riding so much!” I had to tactfully explain that it does absolutly NOTHING for me when I ride, and that that clip was inappropriatly portraying riding!

[Emma1]

I have heard but never actually witnessed in 20 years dozens of “scraped off by trees” stories. I am in my office laughing so loud people are looking at me. Also, I get the “why do you still take lessons, don’t you know how to ride it yet?” I always point out that the iceskaters and gymnasts in the olympics have trainers and that tends to shut them up (not like I’m an olypian or anything, but lengthy explanations of what I am trying to do with my “green” horse – no he is not really the color green – got old). You guys are hilarious and this BB is addictive!!!

[BeeLu]

Ok, sorry to drag up this topic, but it made me feel 10 X better after the awful day I had, and I hope it can do the same to someone else.

How about the kids that MUST point out that your Bryer (sp?) horse has all the “stuff”. Or that, really, riding isn’t a sport…

How about all those people that can jump 3’0? You know- the ones that rode at Uncle bill’s farm 10 years ago?

I loved my speech I gave on my horse. I got a million “Do you ride western?”

EVERYONE seems to think that I ride western. Yep, thats me, in my dressage saddle ropin’ those cows!

Let’s not get into horsemeat. People like to point out that it is wonderful!

Or the ppl that gallop around the room.

Them- What sports do you do?
Me- I ride
Them- Horses?
me- Yep
Them- Thats not a sport
Me- Yes, it is…lets not get into this.
Them- Well all you do is plop your A** in the saddle and whip your horse to move.
Me- un huh. No I use my hands, seat, body and legs to signal my horse.
Them- oh, well have you eaten horse? Its REALLY good!
Me- No, I ride my horse, I don’t eat horse.

grr. Ignorant…

[jumper]

you: “I have to go to the barn to ride before I meet you for dinner/happy hour/movie, etc…”

them: “Oh, can I ride your horse?”

you: “Ummm…I don’t think so.” (not wanting to sound like a b****, but really not wanting them to pursue this line of questioning for fear of a clear, non-offending response)

them: “why not, I rode a horse in ____ (usually some sort of camp 15 years ago). I was really good. It’s not hard…you just hang on and the horse goes.”

you: “My horse isn’t quite that easy, I’m afraid you’d get hurt.”

them: “I won’t get hurt…I"ll wear a helmet.”

blah blah blah

this could go back and forth FOREVER, until you just give in and hope they forget about it. If they don’t…DENIAL!

[Magnolia]

“Can we just go and rent the horses where you ride?”
“No, but you can schedule a lesson.”
“But I don’t need a lesson, I went on a trailride at Disney when I was 7.”

[Cougar2]

THOSE ARE HYSTERICAL…and true too!

[RDHJumper704]

I always get the “Riding’s not a sport, the horse does all the work” comments. I spent last year defending riding to my gym teacher (who just did it to be a pain in the arse and make me be a more forceful person- I can tell you he definitely picked the right way). Of course, he had no clue about riding h/j, so I had to answer some bizarre questions. One day after he took attendance, he had everyone sit in a group around him, then he made me get up in front of everyone and explain why Secretariat was one of the top 10 greatest athletes or something like that. $1.50 and my knowledge of Secretariat will barely get you a subway token, so I had to come up with something quick- I think I took the ‘horses are athletes b/c they train in order to have to have proper muscle and cardiovascular strength blah blah blah…’ as he’s standing there laughing at me and the all 26 pairs of eyes staring at me are glazing over. I then proceeded to use all of the leg strength and good balance that I’ve developed from riding to be the first ‘non-athletic female’ (as myself and others were considered) in the class to score 2 goals and take out this 6’4" football player (hit the ground like a ton of bricks) during the soccer game. And he said I wasn’t an athlete…

always,
Jen

[hunterprincez]

In Texas where I live you say you ride horses and everyone assumes you must be a barrel racer or a calf roper.
They see my 14.0 hand welsh pony and can’t belive how big she is and when they see my 15.3 TB they act like she is a draft horse.

[ccoronios]

<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Sandy M:
3) “Oh yes, I rode once - the horse (deliberately) tried to scrape me off on/under a tree.” I’ve NEVER heard of a horse actually doing this, and yet it has happened to so many people! G<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh, Sandy, then I dare say you haven’t ridden at many hack barns. Those horses certainly do know JUST where your body parts are in relation to theirs and the nearest tree/wall. In fact, one child I used to know rode a pony who used to scrape her leg against every fence post in a show ring. Her knees were a bloody mess when she came out - with a blue ribbon… That was one tough little kid!

[Black_Market_Radio]

Oh yes, and the jockey thing:
Q: You ride? Oh! You’re a jockey?
A: No, I am not a jockey.
Q: Why not? you are small enough, I think you should be a jockey, your the perfect size!
A: I am against horse racing, and will never set foot on a track.
Q: Why not? all they do is run around in circles!
A: Would you let a 2 year old kid run a marathon?
Q: No, why?
A: Those horses are only 2 years old and they ruin tons of them, and many go through life with leg problem. For every one horse you see make it, there are thousands that don’t, a lot of which meet not-so-nice fates.
Q: That’s so sad! But it is still fun to bet on them!
A: