A (humorous) Online Horse Browsing Tale

[Beezer]

So I’m moseying around sites, just seeing what’s out there in the 16-hand-plus Appaloosa variety (don’t ask ). I come across this racing stable. I think, “Oooh, a racing Appy! That would have TB blood and size. Very cool.” I’m reading the descriptions and some sound wonderful. I start looking at prices … huh? 5 cents? A quarter? What, are these Canadian racing Appaloosas??

Then I spy the fine print: THESE ARE MODEL HORSES! I am falling for a MODEL horse!!

We’re talking an entire stable of model racehorses. They have registration papers and numbers; THEY HAVE RACE RECORDS! One was even “unraced due to injury”! (As in, some little kid snapped off its leg playing with it??)

So, even as I’m trying to come to terms with this, I start thinking: So, like, what? They set up little model racetracks and go “galump, galump” around them (you know, the sound you made as a kid as you “cantered” your horse around over your makeshift show jumping courses )? And if I have a model racehorse, why isn’t it winning the Derby instead of having a record that includes fourths and fifths at Thistledown Meadows??

These are things I need to know. But dang if I’m gonna email these people and admit that I wanted to buy one of their racers as my next colored show horse!

[Merry]

Oh, that’s what we need, another lawn ornament/pasture magnet!

Now my sister is collecting lame model horses?Who is the vet? A Ken doll in scrubs?

[Kryswyn]

Whadda think she is - an S&L horse ? Heck no she doesn’t overnight in a shoe box! She has her own Breyer stall, with genuine rubber stall guard. We also use our own hay (how can you count on quality elsewise? )

And to the person who asked about bandages… You bet we’ve got 'em. We also have blankies, galloping boots, coolers, pitchforks, even “companion” animals for stable mascots. It is easy to go WAY OVERBOARD.

~Kryswyn~
“Always look on the bright side of life, de doo, de doo de doo de doo”

[MHM]

I think she’s onto something here! If you’re going to collect lame horses, what could be better? Ken’s vet bills should be proportionately smaller, and they shouldn’t be dangerous to handle after any amount of stall rest!

[equitationlane]

They would take a swapper

[Cactuskate]

Beezer the good news is you realized they were models before you ordered the pre-sale vet check with xrays and Coggins and sent the deposit for the hauler to bring this lovely beast across the country.

Imagine your surprise when you answered the door and the FedEx guy handed you a box and said “Your new race horse is here, and Overnight delivery, please sign here ma’am”.

“The older I get, the better I used to be.”

[smashing_fishnets_an]

ooh, ive got a couple breyers and various horses in my ‘barn’…
a Nice chesnut clydesdale with signature belly spot of white and white feathers, along with bald face. Been ridden by a Bendable figurine specially dressed and made for riding. Experienced rider only; the current rider has ridden a rearing wooden horse.
A pretty dark dapple grey andalusian, arching his neck and high-stepping with his tail curled out.
Rimrock, the bey gelding from the Horse Whisperer.
A “yearling QH colt”, nice light chestnut or red dun, halter pose.
A nameless buckskin colt, injured- missing the lower half of his cannon bone and hoof on his right fore. Old, about 9 years(and still a colt! wow, he does age slowly!)
now for the “Grand Champions” line:
Red roan appaloosa stallion, trained western.
Deep red sorrel appy mare, blanket of black spots on white on rump. Had one foal. also trained western.
Chesnut and black spotted filly, complete with her own blue foal blanket with white trim and “GC” on shoulder.
Palomino paint broodmare, “stardust”. Her neck moves up and down and a magnet was planted in her nose. her head also pivots! comes with a nice pink and green plaid sheet, and built in halter with lead attachment.
Dusty- Stardust’s colt. Black and white paint, loves to gallop. Pivoting head with magnet too!
Buckskin family- big TB mare w/ red blanket, smaller gelding, even smaller colt, and smallest filly.
Wooden Rearing stallion, nice rich brown color with wild mane and tail. Loves to keep his mouth open. Ridden by Bendable rider who stayed on!
2 miniature “grand champions” foals- a bay paint colt and a B/W appy filly. B/W appy mare, a very mean looking bay paint mare, and a Grey gelding. Along with a few stuffed little ponies…

Accessories:
Burgundy quilted blanket, complete with belly strap and chest closures. Set of 4 burgundy shipping wraps, 2 velcro closures. Blue quilted blanket with belly strap-chest closures and quilted shipping wraps. Bucket, complete with magnetic carrots and apple. Multitude of brushes, combs, a VERY small plastic pretend spray bottle, sponge, curry comb, and brush.
I think thats it. I’ve got a barn and a bunch of jumps also, like a brush box and a brick wall that partially falls down if you knock it. Ive got all the horses i named off parading back and forth across an unused nightstand table(a large one). i might go dig out my jumps and change the scene. BTW the horses are from when i was a bit smaller…

[Kryswyn]

I have a beautiful small gray mare, would do the small juniors or clean up in children’s. Her photo’s attached.

~Kryswyn~
“Always look on the bright side of life, de doo, de doo de doo de doo”

[Kryswyn]

Did I mention she also cleans up in Western Pleasure?

~Kryswyn~
“Always look on the bright side of life, de doo, de doo de doo de doo”

[Beezer]

So I’m moseying around sites, just seeing what’s out there in the 16-hand-plus Appaloosa variety (don’t ask ). I come across this racing stable. I think, “Oooh, a racing Appy! That would have TB blood and size. Very cool.” I’m reading the descriptions and some sound wonderful. I start looking at prices … huh? 5 cents? A quarter? What, are these Canadian racing Appaloosas??

Then I spy the fine print: THESE ARE MODEL HORSES! I am falling for a MODEL horse!!

We’re talking an entire stable of model racehorses. They have registration papers and numbers; THEY HAVE RACE RECORDS! One was even “unraced due to injury”! (As in, some little kid snapped off its leg playing with it??)

So, even as I’m trying to come to terms with this, I start thinking: So, like, what? They set up little model racetracks and go “galump, galump” around them (you know, the sound you made as a kid as you “cantered” your horse around over your makeshift show jumping courses )? And if I have a model racehorse, why isn’t it winning the Derby instead of having a record that includes fourths and fifths at Thistledown Meadows??

These are things I need to know. But dang if I’m gonna email these people and admit that I wanted to buy one of their racers as my next colored show horse!

[Kryswyn]

Here she is winning a 3d in Huntseat Pleasure. Best of all NO BRAIDING!

~Kryswyn~
“Always look on the bright side of life, de doo, de doo de doo de doo”

[Lord_Helpus]

Oh, Beezer, please post the site. I would love to see how much the “unraced due to injury” plastic horse is going for…

[Beezer]

OMG, Kryswyn! I love her! I’ll take two!

And no, Merry, Ken would not be my vet. Haven’t you seen the new Luka doll? He comes with his own “Let’s play doctor kit.”

[Merry]

Tell me, Kryswyn, when you show your lovely gray, does it stable overnight in a shoe box?

Maybe plastic horses are the way to go. Can I use my Mr. Spock action figure as the rider? Now that makes an intriguing statement on my psyche, doesn’t it?

[Canter]

That’s hilarious!!! Do they sell little bandages for the injured one??

[ljo]

You must have been soooo disapointed!
I feel for you.