Advice on going to shows on my own

[NancyM]

OK I now see that there is no ring at home. Wasn’t in the first post.

[BrownDerby]

OP, just go. This is not a structured program. Reassure her that you will withdraw if things are not a good fit. Ask her for suggested venues and clinicians. Invite her to come and bring her students. If the clinician is a big name she might wish to participate on her own horse.

[Pennywell_Bay]

@NancyM

I’ve just re read the original post… I can see no “very good reasons” why they want to board this horse. She has her own farm. The jumps she builds may not be as fancy as those at a show barn. She does not say that she has no riding ring at home. But it seems to me that there are huge advantages in keeping herself separate from being under the full control of the coach- if this is what is essentially “the problem”.

It doesn’t matter if YOU can’t see any good reasons. OP is not the only person I know that does this and it’s totally acceptable. It’s as easy as telling the trainer what her plans are. Some trainers may not “like” it, some really don’t have a problem. It’s a conversation that needs to be had since she enjoys boarding, regardless of her having her own farm, yet want to go to clinics.

We have a farm around here that the trainer def seems to grumble quietly but her clients go to clinics and it doesn’t affect her bottom line one bit because she requires X amount of lessons paid whether they take them or not.

[BeeHoney]

I think you should discuss your plans as you consider making them with your trainer. Let her know that there are some shows and clinics you are considering. It isn’t about getting your trainer’s permission, it’s about keeping your trainer appropriately involved with the big picture plan for your horse’s training.

I have often been in a somewhat similar situation to you. I own and train out of my own facility, and have often trailered in for lessons or boarded out a single horse. I often make my own competition schedule and attend whatever clinics or other events I want to. But I always involve my trainer. When my trainer isn’t going, he always has good advice about classes/divisions, overall plan for preparation, and other factors to consider to make sure that the horse has a successful show experience…

I admit that sometimes trainers are annoyed by riders doing outside clinics if they don’t like the instructor doing them. I have been (thankfully) warned off from doing clinics with certain instructors where for example a young horse would have ended up being over faced. I’ve also held my ground and gone to clinics where the instruction was not necessarily any better than the instruction I was getting at home, but the experience of going somewhere and doing an intensive group training session in from of an audience really pushed me up a notch in terms of using the skills I had. A time or two I have simply admitted that it was a social thing, I had friends that were riding and wanted to be included in the experience.

I think it would be incredibly disrespectful to simply “disappear for the day” and go do a show or a clinic without discussing the plan with your trainer. It would be telling your trainer that you really don’t value their opinion or input regarding the overall training and competition plan for your horse.

[Unfforgettable]

Any trainer who has a problem with this is insecure and afraid of losing a client…potentially to someone who knows more and/or is a better trainer. This total control concept some trainers seem to have makes no sense at all. (and yes, I’ve been on that end of things as a now retired pro. Go, have fun, learn stuff and always advocate for your horse)

[fordtraktor]

Please don’t just disappear your horse. If they don’t see the note, it can cause a lot of stress. I had someone do that once with no obvious note, and so when I went out to feed the horse just…wasn’t there. I was panicking because I thought he must have jumped the fence or something and was loose. I don’t want to have to call people and tell them I lost their horse! It was terrible.

I don’t care who goes where (as long as it isn’t a sale barn or something germy), but so need to know!

[DownYonder]

@Demerara_Stables

I don’t think it’s fair for a client to go off and do whatever they want but then come back to the home trainer who then has to fix whatever said clinician screwed up on the horse.

What isn’t fair is for a trainer to try to dictate to a client what she can or cannot do with her own horse. Client’s horse, client’s money, client’s risk, client’s decision - esp. when whatever client wants to do is not on the trainer’s property. I don’t know why some trainers cannot seem to understand that. A trainer’s role is not to control every aspect of a client’s interactions with client’s own horse. Her role is to guide the client in becoming a better rider/better horseperson. If the horse comes back needing some remedial training, then it is the trainer’s role to work with the horse and client to address the issue without rancor. If the trainer and client cannot get on the same page through open dialogue, then they should part ways - amicably and as emotionally mature ADULTS.

That said, client absolutely should tell the trainer she wants to take her horse off site to a clinic or show or whatever. After listening to trainer’s objections, it is still the client’s decision. If she decides to go anyway, she will have a pretty good understanding through that conversation how the trainer feels about it and will have to deal with the consequences, including the possibility of being “shut out” by the trainer.

[BeeHoney]

Also, I think it is nice to remember that when you are a student of a particular trainer, when you are out in public at a show or clinic, you are (like it or not, even if they aren’t there) representing them. I think most people–anyway–work hard to make sure that horses are well turned out and that all conduct / riding / handling of any awkward young horse situations is as graceful and professional as possible. Still, I think it is appropriate to be aware that your trainer is reputationally connected to you when you are at a show.

[nighthorse6]

Yeah, I realize me just wanting to leave a note and take off was a way to avoid any potential conflict or stress. I can see that’s a bad idea. I will make sure I am upfront and honest and tell where I am going. I want to be a good client and boarder and I do enjoy it there.

I boarded another horse many years ago and never had any of these questions because I didn’t have my own trailer or farm at that time, and so I never thought twice about going along with the program. Now that I have my own means to do things, I guess the line feels a little more blurred.

[MHM]

There are definitely all kinds of different boarding/training arrangements, with different expectations under different circumstances, from a person who keeps their horse at home and ships in occasionally for lessons to somebody who is in full training board and might only ride on the weekends or whatever.

A junior or an amateur without a lot of experience probably could use more involvement and supervision from the trainer than someone with more knowledge and mileage under their belt.

One good thing about doing clinics is that you might be hearing basically the same concepts that you hear all the time from the regular trainer, but just a different word or turn of phrase will sometimes provide a big lightbulb moment, even if it’s not a new or radical idea.

The one time I think a trainer does have a legitimate expectation to be involved in decisions is if the horse is leased and not owned by the rider, since that usually involves the trainer being responsible to some degree for the horse returning to its owner in pretty much the same condition it was in when it left for the lease.

Many leases will include a clause saying that the horse must be kept under the supervision of Trainer X for precisely that reason.

[Demerara_Stables]

@Unfforgettable

Any trainer who has a problem with this is insecure and afraid of losing a client…potentially to someone who knows more and/or is a better trainer.

Or the trainer has had horses messed up by other trainers and doesn’t want to have to spend weeks/months fixing the horse physically or mentally.

[Demerara_Stables]

@DownYonder

Her role is to guide the client in becoming a better rider/better horseperson. If the horse comes back needing some remedial training, then it is the trainer’s role to work with the horse and client to address the issue without rancor.

Guiding the client to become better includes advising the client on how to not over face or over work their horse into lameness.

@DownYonder

If the trainer and client cannot get on the same page through open dialogue, then they should part ways - amicably and as emotionally mature ADULTS.

Yes, as I stated here:

@Demerara_Stables

If the clinician(s) you want to work with are people that this trainer doesn’t want you to work with (for whatever reason), then I think the right move is to tell this trainer maybe you aren’t the right fit for her program.

[Demerara_Stables]

@SillyHorse

It’s hard for me to understand why a trainer would automatically assume that “said clinician” would screw up the horse.

Not “automatically assume”

@Demerara_Stables

if the trainer doesn’t think your horse should go because he’s not ready/not fit/the clinician is too different from her training philosophies

[Djones]

You board there for the ring, the social aspect, and an extra set of eyes in a weekly lesson. You alone ride and train the horse.

Given the above, you tell the trainer what you’re schedule and plans look like. Maybe the horse comes home for a few days after the clinic, for example, and then comes back to the boarding barn. Maybe you talk and the trainer says she was also thinking of going to ABC, so you both go.

Approach the trainer like a trusted advocate for both you and your horse. You are entirely within your rights to do what you want, having a thoughtful conversation would be the considerate and collaborative thing to do.

[Djones]

@Demerara_Stables

Or the trainer has had horses messed up by other trainers and doesn’t want to have to spend weeks/months fixing the horse physically or mentally.

This trainer gives riding lessons to the OP. That’s it. They don’t ride the horse. Nothing in the OPs post would indicate she’s not capable of making sound decisions. Hell, she hired this person to give her lessons, why she isn’t she capable of choosing a clinician?

[Demerara_Stables]

@Djones

This trainer gives riding lessons to the OP. That’s it. They don’t ride the horse.

Fair enough, I didn’t realize that the first time reading it. That’s a different story. Thanks for pointing it out.

[Inimitable]

@MHM

One good thing about doing clinics is that you might be hearing basically the same concepts that you hear all the time from the regular trainer, but just a different word or turn of phrase will sometimes provide a big lightbulb moment, even if it’s not a new or radical idea.

This. So much this. I can’t tell you how often I hear “elbows in” and “slow with your body” from my regular trainer. And, yeah, I’m getting better about both of those things. But last weekend I went to a clinic and the trainer used “thumbs on top” and “release with your arms, not your body” to address the same issues and it was a damn revelation. lol

Anyway, OP - I’m with all of those saying talk to your trainer and keep her informed and in the loop about what your plans and goals are with your horse, but don’t let her hold you back from having the experiences you want to have with YOUR horse.

[SpicyPRE]

well then the trainer has to train. I have ridden with some pretty high level trainers and never once have this been expressed to me. This speaks to a pretty deep insecurity on the part of the trainer. Plus if I was riding with a trainer who thought they had the “secret sauce” on how to train me and my horse, I would be out of there so fast their head would spin.

[Unfforgettable]

@Demerara_Stables

Or the trainer has had horses messed up by other trainers and doesn’t want to have to spend weeks/months fixing the horse physically or mentally.

That’s part of a trainer’s job. If one weekend clinic messes up a horse so badly it takes the trainer weeks or months to fix, I’d say the trainer isn’t quite the hand they believe they are.

[BrownDerby]

And if the trainer does not know anything about the clinician s/he needs to get out more.