Have ridden most of my life, always rental barns, lessons, friend’s horses. I want to start riding on a reg. basis, and get the benefits I love so much being around horses. I’m male, 56 yo, currently out of shape and starting an exercise and lifestyle changes to get back into shape. I want riding to be a part of this, I love to ride, and the more in shape I will become, will be all the easier to get back to intermediate level where I used to be. Thinking leasing would be better for my schedule, and do not want to over commit to a horse I could not give proper attention to. But not opposed to owning and sharing a horse too. I ride English mostly, and can get diagonals down, small jumps, but have to get a better seat. I’m overweight, at 240 lb, 6’ high and want to select a horse that can handle my weight now, and we can grow together as I get back in shape. I rode a 17 hand draft when I was 10 in lessons, I like larger horses on average.
To start, I would keep riding sessions shorter, and more frequent, but feel long term I could only ride once or twice per week. I like to muck out stalls, groom my horse, and take care of tack, and be around barn life in general too.
Would like advice on breed (assume no Morgans/Arabians, fine boned horses?) and age (assume a bit older to get a more sound/proven horse?) height (assume 16 hands + due to my weight?) costs ( assume board/feed/ etc) and other things you might recommend. Live in the Mid-Atlantic area, and have lots of options around for stables, leasing, etc. Please advise!
FWIW, I’ve always felt that besides good bone, a short_backed horse is a good choice for someone big and/ or heavy. So that doesn’t mean a horse has to be tall. My first good event horse was about 15.3, short-backed, lots of bone, and weighed around 1,300 lbs. While I am not heavy, I allowed others to ride him, and he handled weight easily and competed to intermediate level in eventing. A friend who was quite heavy competed a 15.2 QH through TL eventing and after that to PSG in dressage. And if you’re not going to be a 4,5, or 6 day a week rider,
a stout QH or Appy or Paint might be more likely
to get by with less riding without getting high. You already said you realise a “been there, done that” horse would be a good choice, so you’re on the right track! Good luck and best wishes in finding a good partner.
[QUOTE=bradw;8756850]
…To start, I would keep riding sessions shorter, and more frequent, but feel long term I could only ride once or twice per week. I like to muck out stalls, groom my horse, and take care of tack, and be around barn life in general too…[/QUOTE]
Just based on this I would suggest you spend your money and time taking weekly lessons rather than leasing (or buying) a horse. You won’t be committed to a horse, you won’t be committed to anymore time other than your lesson time. Importantly you won’t be responsible, especially financially, for additional costs of leasing or owning, like vet fees, farrier, etc. and it will help to get you fit for riding. If nothing else, it would be a good starting point to getting back into riding and with some lessons behind you maybe you’ll have a better idea of how much time you have to devote to a horse and whether leasing or buying is a good idea.
If you like helping out around the barn, I’m sure if you find the right lesson barn they would be happy to let you help out with chores.
Not my favorite, but for most people a QH or QH type is the best horse. What do you like? Many grade horses make wonderful mounts. Look at what you can handle and what you’ve been riding. Get expert opinions from horse people that you trust.
Short backed horses are best for overweight people, I agree with the comments above.
Congrats on your efforts!
I agree with above poster that for 1-2 rides per week, better to take lessons and/or try to partially lease something. Board and upkeep can be expensive…
If you are shopping, I wouldn’t get too hung up on what breed. List criteria like temperament, training, soundness, size, what type of riding you do, etc and go from there. IMO the finer boned breeds would not be the best choice, mostly because of the “look”. I like to see a rider that fits his/her horse.
I think about some friends who do a lot of fox hunting; those horses tend to be good solid horses, exposed to lots, rideable. If you could find one that needs a new owner, that could be a match.
For now, ride what you can, see what feels right, and maybe put out word that you would be interested in a partial lease.
Stop looking a the right one will find you.
You may want to check with your local hunt(s) and/or polo clubs, simply because there are more likely to be male riders (and therefore horses suitable for men).
I agree with other posters. Start with some lessons first. Finding a barn with a lesson string appropriate to you might take some looking. But taking lessons and being in regular riding again will make you a more attractive leaser. It also gives you an automatic reference for your riding ability. The instructor/trainer might also know about some opportunities and can help you reach out to your local community. There is no negative from starting lessons first and then progressing to a lease situation.
[QUOTE=CFFarm;8757070]
Stop looking a the right one will find you.[/QUOTE]
For people already embedded in the horse world with a lot of connections I mostly agree with this… For someone just getting into it or returning to the horse world after time away, you’ll be waiting for the rest of your life.
I think regular lessons and then a half lease sound perfect for you, OP. Find a great lesson program in your area that has suitably sized horses. Start taking as many lessons per week as you can and then you may have the opportunity to work that into a half lease, or will at least have a trainer who knows you and can help you find a suitable half lease.
Have you considered listing on the Horseless Rider thread here? If you were in my area I would be thrilled to introduce you to my horses that need some saddle time and if they didn’t work I have plenty of friends near by with horses in need of a willing rider. We’d be hauling you on trail rides and easy fox hunts. And we all have horses that could carry your weight. Damn, I wish you were in North Alabama!
Agree with the “Take Lessons” advice.
My DH started his riding career at 56yo & at 70 was Eventing with me at Novice (schooling to Training) when he died <RIP>.
We started him with lessons, moved on to shareboarding <cheaper than leasing & more suitable to a 1-2X weekly rider.
Once it looked like he was committed to the sport we bought him a horse.
They are in my Profile Pic at our 1st rated Event, he was 68yo then.
[QUOTE=RedmondDressage;8757695]
For people already embedded in the horse world with a lot of connections I mostly agree with this… For someone just getting into it or returning to the horse world after time away, you’ll be waiting for the rest of your life.
I think regular lessons and then a half lease sound perfect for you, OP. Find a great lesson program in your area that has suitably sized horses. Start taking as many lessons per week as you can and then you may have the opportunity to work that into a half lease, or will at least have a trainer who knows you and can help you find a suitable half lease.[/QUOTE]
This is actually what I meant. Take the lessons and you will make connections.
[QUOTE=Foxglove6;8757513]
I agree with other posters. Start with some lessons first. Finding a barn with a lesson string appropriate to you might take some looking. But taking lessons and being in regular riding again will make you a more attractive leaser. It also gives you an automatic reference for your riding ability. The instructor/trainer might also know about some opportunities and can help you reach out to your local community. There is no negative from starting lessons first and then progressing to a lease situation.[/QUOTE]
Agreed. I am a born-again rider as well, and I would have been REALLY nervous to get into a lease/purchase situation w/out the help of my trainer, who I got to know through lessons.
Lessons first for a year. Then you’ll know whether or not this is real or “Memorex.” 
You will also have a chance to explore various equine disciplines and see where you might have fun. Then you can pick a horse to match your wants.
If you go the English route you’ll likely find female instructors, many of them younger than you. With some guys that’s an issue, with others not. Just be aware that in the English world the ratio of women to men pushes 10 to 1. Some might think this “sexist” but it isn’t. What it is is that many women instructors who don’t have experience teaching adult, male riders don’t consider that they will think differently than teenage girls. They have different physical needs (not many women will consider the question of adult, male undergarments, as an example). Men have different conformations and that affects center of gravity and that affects seat. Women tend to use finesse first, force second; men are the mirror image of this. These are just a few of the possible issues. If you can, find an instructor who has taught adult men successfully. It really is a fair question.
If you go Western you’ll still likely have a female instructor but might find a few more guys. If you were further West that would definitely be true. In MD, maybe not so much.
We started riding in MD with a lady in Howard Co. in 1986. Many of my impressions come from the four years we rode with her and the decades after that in East TN.
Your first horse ought not to be your last horse. It’s sort of like your first car, it’s a “learning opportunity.” You want a horse that is safe (guys like you and I don’t bounce all that well anymore 
). You will make mistakes, and sometimes they will be doozies. An older, experienced gelding will tolerate your errors better than a flightly, green filly. So will an older mare.
Put another way, there’s an adage that says for a first horse, “the younger the rider the older the horse.” This is not in terms of the rider’s chronological age but their “experiential” age. Ditto for the horse.
Don’t fall into the trap of the “horse for life” philosophy. That has ruined more horses and riders than I can imagine (and I can imagine a lot). This first horse may serve you for a couple of years and then you’ll want something with more “pizazz.” It’s OK to sell a horse (even though if you wander through some threads on sale you’ll wonder about that). It even OK to sell when you can’t be absolutely certain of the future of the horse if you do. Horses are chattels (property). Once the check clears the bank the horse is no longer yours. Don’t get to obsessing about things you can’t control.
Look for “guy” activities. Find a local hunt and check them out. There are a lot in MD and VA. Some are kind of “prissy” or “snooty” but many are good groups that like to ride and socialize. As a beginner you won’t be doing anything dramatic and you may decide you don’t want to learn to jump. That’s OK; as a gracefully aging couple my wife and I both rode 3rd field (called the Hilltoppers around here) and we go through gates, not over coops. But we still got to party and drink with the rest of the group!!!
There is a lot of mounted military re-enacting in your area, from Revolutionary War to WWII. PM me and I’ll point you to some resources. These are mostly male groups but some women like to play with guns, blades, and horses, too!
Take a look at Cowboy Mounted Shooting. It’s about as much fun as you can have with your clothes on! Most groups are pretty laid back but at the upper level of this sport people can make a living. Google it and see what there is locally.
These are just suggestions to get you started. You’re not far from a bunch of major show venues (like the VA Horse Center in Lexington or the Prince Georges Equestrian Center in Upper Marlboro). Check their websites and see what might interest you.
You could even do a “road trip” and come to the National Cavalry Competition in El Reno, OK (just west of OK City). Do that and I’ll buy the first beer!
http://www.uscavalry.org/events/current-events.html
Lots of ways to go on this. Take your time. It’s easier to make the right choice first than second.
G.
