Advice on overcoming fear of jumping?

[DollyDoll]

I’ve posted a couple times on here about my horse and looking for horses. Finally found a gorgeous, honest, and really straightforward WB grey mare, a bit on the older side but she’s safe with experience and always tries to help out her rider when in a tight spot as long as you have leg on. Her paces are strong, which I enjoy, and you can just feel her power while jumping and it’s amazing! Lots to work on (she’s stiff due to neglect sadly, it broke my heart to see such an amazing horse like that and even though her teeth and hooves were horrible she still tried her heart out at every jump while trying her) which I am excited to work on (already got teeth and hooves done) and help her out with but even though she is literally the horse of my dreams and completely different from my previous guy I have somehow found myself fearful while jumping.

I always considered myself pretty brave while jumping, I was the one my trainer put on every horse to get over a tough jump and falls never fazed me. I was the kind of rider that would literally get on a horse for the first time and just ride them to whatever height the fence was. But it seems that after my last horse I have completely lost most if not all my confidence while jumping. He would run out at any given opportunity and if I saw the right distance and put on leg he would either ignore it, put a small one in because he wanted to, or ditch/run out/refuse. By the end he did get better thanks to a lot of hard work and we were even able to sell him at a good price but now while getting to work on my new mare I seem to be super hesitant while jumping.

I always hold her back, scared to gallop to the jump (last horse would try to run at them and I would have to hold him back like hell on wheels), and once the jumps get higher than 1-1.10 I completely freak and feel like she’ll stop (when she has never stopped in the week I’ve known her). I have jumped her a couple of 1.25 jumps and she was fine yet here I am scared to do a complete course on her or even combinations in fear she’ll duck out. My trainer say’s its probably trauma since my last horse literally knocked me out twice (hit me in the face while riding him) while jumping and he would refuse to go past anything higher than 1m (it was a struggle to teach him that jumping could be fun) and combinations were the worst because in the one stride he hated them and would always try to put two unless I put all my leg and seat I could. I have no idea what to do and my trainer says we can go slow but I know he’s slightly frustrated and I am extremely frustrated and humiliated because he knows and I know I can do amazing things since I was able to do it on such a difficult horse before.

What can I do? I want to get my confidence back fast, I’m embarrassed at the fact I might have to go back to the 1m because of this stupid fear that has suddenly appeared. Be gentle please but I would appreciate some advice.

[PonyPenny]

A sports psychologist can help with this. Also there is nothing wrong with dropping down in height. Your horse can feel your anxiety and will lose confidence if you continue to hold her back. Impulsion is different from speed. Taking away the impulsion will make it harder for her to jump and she will eventually not want to perform. You need to find the height that you are comfortable with and practice allowing your horse to go down to the jump without taking away her impulsion.

[DollyDoll]

My biggest fear is her losing her love of jumping and her overall love of working. I’m also scared of her turning into a hot headed horse like my last one (like running or gaining speed once she see’s a jump) so maybe that’s also why I want to keep her at a super low pace when jumping but I know she needs more speed and impulsion

[Night_Flight]

There is absolutely no reason why you shouldn’t drop back down in height for a little while until you learn to trust her.

Plenty of people drop down in height with a new horse while they get to know one another. Keep it comfortable and give yourself time to learn to trust her and to get into the habit of riding her like she’s a good horse.

[LovieBird]

Jump smaller until you get bored. Practice over just poles on the ground, especially if you have an older horse.

[furlong47]

Lower the jumps. Start with something ridiculously low like just poles or little crossrails. When you get bored with them and feel confident at that height, go up a little bit. Repeat until you’re back where you used to be. You need to rebuild your confidence, and you also need to build trust and a good relationship with your new horse. I don’t jump nearly as high as you do, but I have done this sort of rebuilding exercise a few times after losing confidence for various reasons. (Sometimes I also went back to a smaller, slower, or more reliable horse, but I don’t think that would apply in your situation.)

[Willesdon]

Try using a neck strap for a little while. It is amazing how much psychological support comes from bring able to hold a neck strap, or even just put a finger under it, when jumping. Then drop the height you go over until your confidence returns. The horse won’t mind doing lower fences and its technique remains the same at 1m as 1.25m or, indeed, 1.50. Also, as you and horse are still building a relationship, lots of polework. That will help horse stiffness too. You like the horse: you will get there. Good luck on your journey.

(Edited: spell check madness)

[mika0116]

Girl, I am going to be in the same boat (I never jumped as high as you, but I would get panic-feelings with anything around .90cm and up - a single higher fence was ok… but a whole course, I would just like lose confidence due to several similar situations with stoppers) when I start back up riding again soon. I have had concussions, black eyes, broken fingers… sigh.

I am moving and starting fresh at a new barn with new horses as partners, just like your new grey mare. Lower the fences until you are legitimately BORED and about to fall asleep with how easy it is, see a sports psychologist if you can (even one that does sessions over Zoom), and I have a book recommendation for you Brain Training for Riders (written by Andrea, who is a high level eventer and coach in addition to having a Masters Degree in Counseling and was a practicing psychotherapist from 1994 until 2012).

Brain Training for Riders: Unlock Your Riding Potential with StressLess Techniques for Conquering Fear, Improving Performance, and Finding Focused Calm

Actionable, cognitive behavioral therapy step by step approach. I re-read it nearly every few months.

My heart horse and bravest jumper who NEVER stopped with me and tried her heart out was a grey Dutch/TB mare named Pele (the Hawaiian goddess of fire/ volcanoes). She carried me over fences where I sat with leg and grabbed her fluffy mane that despite her being 16h made her look almost pony-like, and closed my eyes until we galloped away from the fence. I rode her with a neck strap with a little tag that said “I Got U” on it… and she did. Sending you the Pele & me vibes with your new grey mare. <3

[hybriseris]

I came off over a jump, didn’t recover as fast my 13 year old self, and then the fear set in. I wouldn’t say it’s completely gone, but I now view it as a healthy respect for what I’m doing on a huge animal LOL.

I second the suggestions you’ve gotten for stepping down in height, even all the way back to cavaletti for now. Until you’re positively snoozing and can’t wait for something bigger.

But I’d also suggest maybe taking a couple weeks where the majority of your rides have nothing to do with jumping and you just learn about your new partner and let her learn about you. Look up some fun polework patterns, practice transitions and her adjustability, figure out her likes and dislikes. You’ll feel more confident in each other when you get back to work you find mentally challenging. Not to mention, you say her feet were horrible when you got her - might not be a bad idea to let her have a cycle or two of growing out more correctly before you ask for anything big anyway.

Congrats on your dream pony!

[bingbingbing]

@DollyDoll

I always hold her back, scared to gallop to the jump (last horse would try to run at them and I would have to hold him back like hell on wheels), and once the jumps get higher than 1-1.10 I completely freak and feel like she’ll stop (when she has never stopped in the week I’ve known her). I have jumped her a couple of 1.25 jumps and she was fine yet here I am scared to do a complete course on her or even combinations in fear she’ll duck out.

This sounds like a really nice horse for you. But most horses will only tolerate so much. Put the jumps down. What is the hurry?? I agree with the above, jump smaller jumps until you are bored and confident.
It is not fair to a horse to hold, hold, hold and expect them to keep doing their job. Eventually the quarter runs out and they say no.

[anon68314200]

I know that the rider mechanics aren’t too popular with a hunter/ jumper set, but I am a long time fan of Mary Wanless Rider mechanics. Mechanics are not just for dressage.

There is a 99.% chance that your generalized ‘fear’ can be addressed in a much more detailed manner by developing a detailed understanding of how your seat attaches to, and influences, the horse’s back and balance.

She has a podcast, I’d recommend you start there.

[Gardenhorse]

Congratulations on finding a new horse who sounds like a great one! You’ve only had her a week. There’s no need to feel humiliated or frustrated. Give yourself some more time to really develop a partnership with her. It’s better to go slowly at the beginning and really build trust between the two of you. If you rush things now, it will just take more time later to fix the problems down the road.

[DollyDoll]

Thank you everyone for your lovely comments! I have definitely taken them into consideration and practice, I just booked an appointment with a sport psychologist for next week and today my mare and I decided to try small gymnastic. We started super low and my trainer with ever so slowly putting the jumps up as he watched if I changed my expression or tensed up but somehow starting small made me feel kinda confident? And she never once made a face and even when I messed up she didn’t even change her attitude which really helped. So when we were suddenly jumping the gymnastic at 1.35 I never once felt that fear of her stopping or running! So I’m definitely keeping the jumps low all week and slowly build from there until I can get back to the bigger courses since I know I just need to start small and get used to her and get her used to me.

[S1969]

@DollyDoll

Lots to work on (she’s stiff due to neglect sadly, it broke my heart to see such an amazing horse like that and even though her teeth and hooves were horrible she still tried her heart out at every jump while trying her) which I am excited to work on

Why would you rush? Sounds like the mare needs time to recover from a neglectful situation, and condition for the work you want her to do. If she is indeed “stiff but trying her heart out” - slow down and make sure you don’t set her up for injury. Seems a bit soon to be galloping to the jumps, regardless of your confidence level.

Use the time you are working on conditioning your new horse to regain your own confidence.

[IPEsq]

I’m glad you found this horse. She sounds great! As far as your confidence, you can’t put a timeline on it. You have to take it one day at a time. And some days will feel better and others worse. That’s ok. I would go down to small jumps for a while. Jumps where you can completely screw up and it won’t phase this horse one bit. Learn to ride her in the way she likes to be ridden, and then from there you together will develop a style.

It’s kind of like rebuilding confidence with the horse. You just keep it low and easy until it becomes boring. And then you try something a little harder. Then you come back to the boring for a session. Don’t always think you have to move up. When your confidence has grown, you will then be able to progress more quickly because you have the skill and the horse knows her job. But don’t skip over the first step or you will not ride her well due to your fear.

I needed a confidence booster myself and got one that is as happy as a clam to go around half asleep over little jumps all day long. He can jump 1.25m but why put the wear and tear on his legs if I just need to practice my rhythm and getting my eye back. Also it is not fair to him to put him in some bad spots at big jumps. When it’s time for me to move up, we first spend some time with gymnastics to build his fitness jumping higher where I still just have to find a distance to a smaller first fence. And then maybe we put the outs of some lines up. And then we are ready to do a course at a bigger height. But I don’t practice it all the time (again, wear and tear on him). Sometimes we just practice with cavaletti and poles.

Only when you get to the point where you don’t need so much practice for yourself then should you be doing bigger jumps because you won’t have to drill or jump as often, just enough to be fit for what you want to compete in.

[Momateur]

@DollyDoll

My biggest fear is her losing her love of jumping and her overall love of working.

You need to stop thinking like this. She doesn’t sit around in her stall hoping she’ll get to jump 1.25m and work hard today. Horses aren’t like that. They love to eat and be with their friends. So cut yourself some slack, because you aren’t hurting her in any way by lowering the jumps.

[DollyDoll]

Oh no I never thought like that XD I meant that whenever we are working she seems to really enjoy herself! Whenever I let her loose in the arena (we are still slowly introducing her to prevent any bad fights) she likes to play around the jumps and she always seems excited when we’ve jumped and I like that in her, which is why I would hate to make her lose that enjoyment she has of working and jumping.

[Momateur]

I still stand by my comment. Horses like to eat, be with friends, and be free of pressure/pain. Now, some horses are bred to jump, and so they are naturally inclined to do so. But that doesn’t mean they equate jumping with pleasure. If that were the case, she’d be jumping those jumps all by herself in the arena, jumping in and out of turnout, etc.

Being excited when you jump also doesn’t necessarily mean she’s happy. It could very well be anxiety. But that’s off topic.

Anyway, I’m staring to sound snarky and that’s not the point of my response at all. You really should lower those jumps to something totally unintimidating (I’m talking crossrails - 2’). Practice until it’s boring. You are asking for trouble if you continue being fearful/pulling to big jumps. If you create a crash, you can absolutely ruin your horse’s confidence. Now that’s how you destroy a horse’s will to jump.

I’ll bet your trainer says something similar.

[BlueMoonJumper]

@DollyDoll
Keep doing what you’re doing here except making the gymnastics so high at the end. Keep the heights mellow and very comfortable.

Stop thinking about jumps coming AT you as if they are going to attack. Instead, maybe try putting your brain in a more video game mode. As in, your role is to go and “collect” all the jumps. Every time you make it over one in your head make the “coin collecting Ching! Ching!” sound from Super Mario Brothers. Make it your job to go and collect those jumps/coins!

The most important part being that YOU are going to them to “grab the jump/coins” instead of the jumps creeping up on you. Become active in going after the jumps instead of passive. Put yourself on a mission to grab as many jumps/coins as possible.

Your trainer will probably laugh but just try it, you never know, this could be a good exercise for you to change your way of thinking and release some of that anxiety.

[DollyDoll]

I actually really like that idea! I’m super into videogame so it will probably help XD I usually feel overwhelmed when jumping because I feel the jumps coming way too fast and way too high and get stressed over that.

Oh and my trainer just put the gym high so that I could see that my mare won’t stop and that even if I mess up she’ll take care of me, and so that I could see that I can jump that height, I just need to be more confident in my skill. I just have a bunch of self-confidence issues hopefully my mare and the tips on here will help!