I see upper level folks with lovely horses whose tails look like they have never itched their butts a day in their life! My dear TB mare is wormed, I did Listerene on the dock, rubbing into the skin then finishing up with the pink hair mositurizer. It works somewhat and I need to use both products daily. Currently she has a Professional Choice tail wrap that covers the dock and vet wrap around the lower part of it that extends down the tail a bit to hold it. The lasts overnight 50% of the time at most. I never leave it in when she goes out as she only tail rubs in her stall. Anyone found a product that stays in or a routine that works?
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Does she have bug bites on her belly or build up around her teats? That can cause a mare to rub her tail. Some mare owners I know feed Spirulina, which solved the problem for them.
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Have you cleaned her teats and booty? Often times mares will itch their tails when they need cleaned.
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I get in between her teats and remove what I can but I have sheath cleaner and will get in there and make it sparkling tomorrow!
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My show horse has such a lovely tail I occasionally get comments on it from judges on my tests!
It’s hereditary. I don’t think you can truly change much about tail thickness. The top hair they rub doesn’t even go down to the bottom where they thickness happens. I have 4 horses, 2 have great tails and 2 have thin ones.
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Warm water and a soft cloth is plenty. Soap of any kind will destroy the good bacteria, and dry the skin out. If you have to use something to soften things up before rinsing with warm water, try a water based lubricant with no fragrance or flavor. Astroglide is cheap! Rinse well, and always pat the area dry.
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FWIW, a lot of those riders have fake tails. I know that doesn’t necessarily hide a rubbing issue, but keep your expectations realistic 
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Are you 100% sure she doesn’t have pinworms? What does “is wormed” mean?
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I have one of those horses with a to die for tail. He’s a Morgan. It’s genetic. It’s a curse since he’s palomino which shows everything and the tail is so heavy that it doesn’t get out of the way when he poops. Anyway, I have to do a vinegar rinse after I shampoo or he’ll rub the top of his tail. Otherwise, I go with benign neglect.
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Check the skin on the tailbone itself-on mine you could see it was scaly and dirty. A couple very deep/scrubby washes of the entire tailbone with a clarifying/charcoal or dandruff type shampoo totally fixed the tail rubbing
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My mare has been rubbing a lot less since I started giving her hempseed oil (2 oz 2x/day). For tails that look straggly at the bottom, banging seems to help, and IMO a shorter banged tail looks nicer and fuller than a long scraggly tail. When I had an appy with a skimpy appy tail, I was really diligent about washing and conditioning weekly, then rubbing in coconut oil, and after all that dried, finishing with Cowboy Magic. Her tail was never long, but it did end up looking quite nice for what it was.
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My mares rub pretty badly, and vet did check for pinworms specifically (no). We determined they do it more while in heat, when teats are any less than sparkly, and when the tailbone gets scaly. They still have very thick tails so it’s not as noticable, but will break the hair at the top if it gets bad, and they’re draft cross so they break fence boards all the time. They also pushed one 10x10 support post out from under my barn eave (extremely impressive).
I do agree that washing the tailbone with moisturizing shampoo helps a lot. In between, I use effol/effax hair regrowth serum which helps if I’m diligent. I see obvious improvement on scales after a few days. I don’t like Listerine, I think it dries out more in the long run. Straight up oil collects more dirt in my experience. I hate mtg so can’t comment on it’s effectiveness.
Teats - I use Excalibur occasionally in the summer with lots of sweating, and it doesn’t seem to dry them out (aloe in it?). Mostly I just use water and a rag. In the fall and winter I don’t do them much and I do avoid anything soapy then.
I have tried pretty much every allergy supplement (smartpak, Platinum, garlic, equishield, oils, Zyrtec, etc). They do help with other issues like eye watering and very large swelling responses to bug bites, but I haven’t yet seen much difference in tail rubbing from them. That doesn’t stop me from trying a new one every year though 
This is to say I don’t have an answer, I have similar issues, but I’ve found some things that help at least.
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Does she rub more in the summer than in the winter? If so, it could be equine Culicoides sensitivity, commonly referred to as sweet itch. It’s an allergic reaction to the saliva of biting insects, specifically midges. I had an Appy mare some 40 years back that suffered terribly from it and would completely rub out the hair on the dock of her tail every summer, as well as most of her mane. She also often developed raw or crusty sores on her dock or crest. The tendency for hypersensitivity of this sort is passed from dams to their offspring and it is unfortunately incurable. The most effective treatment was Ivermectin injections every month and that worked great on my mare for years - she didn’t suffer every summer and grew a beautiful tail (for an Appy). Then FDA banned ivermectin injections for horses and although ivermectin paste helped some, it wasn’t as effective as the injections. I’m not sure why Ivermectin helped since it is anti-parasitic and anti-larval, but it did seem to mitigate the release of histamine in her system and she itched much less, esp. when getting the monthly injections.
Other steps you can take to help mitigate the condition is to keep her stalled at night - bring her in before dusk (when midges are most active). And it’s even better if her stall is as far away from the barn doors as possible as the midges don’t like to come inside buildings. I also put hydrocortisone cream on my mare’s dock every other day or so, which helped relieve the itching a little bit. You could also try the Spirulina mentioned upthread - I would have used it for my Appy mare if it had been on the market back then.
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I make sure to wash the underside of the tailbone as well as its placement area and the boobies. Seems to help.
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She was wormed 3 weeks ago with Quest Plus. A few folks at the barn were saying their horses started doing the same thing.
Ok, so pinworms are pretty resistant these days to ivermectin and moxidectin. If there are pinworms, and horses are rubbing against things that other horses then contact, they too can get the pinworms.
You can give them all a dose of Anthelcide (the only oxibendazole product, at least in the US) and see if things improve. That’s the drug least likely to have resistance issues. If it does, then make sure you clean all those surfaces they’ve all been rubbing on to remove all the eggs. You have have to deworm again in 2 weeks if there are enough pinworms around, but that should break the cycle.
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I have pretty good luck using fenbendazole to treat pinworms
I use Noxema in the cleavage
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yes, still effective in a lot of areas, but not all unfortunately
I think a lot of the topical treatments for tail rubbing are very drying. After years of fighting it with that stuff this year I tried moisturizing the actual skin beneath the hair with hair oil and lotion and for the first time it was actually under control!!
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