Am I crazy to want another dog...?

[cleo570]

I lost my beloved (uber protective and kind of difficult) rescue Doberman to heart failure in November. Nine months later, I’m ready to think about another dog - not only was losing Bogart tough, I have 2 kids, ages 5 & 2, so adding a dog to my busy two-career household is not a small task. Not to mention that my younger kiddo had a lot of medical problems from birth (thankfully, her health is much much better, but she’s still a work in progress.) Part of the hardship of losing my dog was that I really relied on him when my daughter was ill - he was very active, so our daily required exercise got me through her infancy. I had him for years before my first kid was born, and he was great with them, despite his other behavioral issues.

So here I am, really missing having a dog (and I want a big dog). I can’t imagine getting a puppy - that is biting off way more than I can chew, and my husband is not a good dog trainer. I would love to adopt another adult dog, but am I totally insane to bring a strange dog into a household with young kids? Am I being selfish to bring a dog into my house right now? My Dobie was really difficult for the first year we had him (he was a young dog, abandoned, not trained and not socialized, very large and extremely strong) but we did not have children at the time.

Should I just suck it up and wait a couple of years until my little one is older…? Anyone have experience adopting adult dogs with toddlers/little kids?

[GraceLikeRain]

Definitely possible. I’d go through a really reputable rescue and be crystal clear about having children in the home. Some rescues will allow you to step in as a foster parent to have an extended trial period.

[BuddyRoo]

OP, I’m a big dog person. And I can’t imagine my life w/o a big dog. So I really want to support you in your pursuit of getting another critter, but I feel like I should throw some reality your way too.

I got my old man (now 13) when I was single. He is a solid citizen. And even after I met my now DH and his kids, my dog was AOK because he was already 7 YO, liked kids, etc.

But when DH insisted that we get a puppy “for the kids” 5 years ago, I was averse. I wanted to adopt an adult dog if anything. But most rescues would not adopt to families with kids. Especially not kids your kids’ ages.

So we got a pup from the breeder. “The kids and I will help!” he said. Nope. I was the only one up at nights. I was the one cleaning up messes if I left the pup in care/control of DH or the kids (who were 12/13 at the time) and they didn’t pay attention. It was MUCH harder to get this dog trained up with multiple players than it was when I started my old man all alone.

And now, I’m still the primary caregiver. If I don’t feed, medicate, let out, walk, poop scoop, etc? It wouldn’t get done.

Now this isn’t difficult for me because I don’t have little kids in the house. But if you’re working, have two kids, one of whom with health issues, and a husband who isn’t exactly dog focused? Maybe now is not the right time unless you can find an aged, laid back critter to add to your home? I can’t imagine getting anything younger that REQUIRES a lot of physical activity if you’re tied up with the family or work most of the day.

Good luck.

[S1969]

That’s a tough one. I love the idea of rescue but with young kids I can’t imagine doing it. My dogs were all from breeders and we got them as babies, and I always felt very comfortable with their temperament around my kids because I knew them and their breeding very well.

So…could it work - yes. But only with the very right dog. And…it’s a question of whether you can really trust that you have found that right dog or not.

One idea that you may consider is talking to breeders about older puppies/dogs. It is a long shot but when someone has an adult dog that needs placing they can be the perfect match. I raised a puppy last year that was supposed to go out of the country and that didn’t work out. I was really worried about where he would end up, because placing a 12 month old puppy is tough if people really want a puppy. But my breeder found a great home - they wanted another puppy but just didn’t want to go through that baby puppy stage again…and were thrilled to end up with a year old dog.

There are some good rescues that put dogs into foster care before adopting them out - that’s another option to consider. No idea what their policies are with regard to kids, though.

[TheHotSensitiveType]

I don’t think you are crazy at all. We have 3 big dogs and a toddler, but we did have our 3 before we had the toddler. That being said, I can’t imagine not having a dog around despite the extra chores associated… and at the same time I would not want a puppy!

Many rescues will not adopt out to families with small children, but that would be a good place to start if you can find one that is willing to take a family’s specific circumstances into mind before automatically saying no.

Another place to look would be Craigslist… I know, I know. But there are adult dogs there that are in homes with small children so in that way you can get an idea of how they can handle little kids. I still remember seeing an ad for an adult Boxer that the people were getting rid of because they were picking the kitten over the dog of many years. Still makes me sad that we couldn’t take her and angry at the poor dogs owners.

[BuddyRoo]

Just want to say that I think that well behaved young children are great foster/adoption homes. But with so many mombies who let their kids crawl all over and harass dogs, the cases of dogs biting kids who were harassing them as they tried to escape and then get euth’d, etc, a lot of people are kind of anti-wee ones when it comes to adopting dogs out–for good reason. You don’t sound like one of those kind of owners/parents, but be prepared for that issue.

When i was a little kid (I don’t remember this at all, I was that little), my mom wanted a sheltie from a breeder. Breeder was hesitant to sell her a dog as she had two kids, 4 and 2. So my mom took us to breeder’s place and we sat out and played with the puppies. Breeder later (according to my mom) said that she’d never sold anyone with wee ones a pup because the kids were monsters but that she was very happy to sell one to us. We had that little dog most of my childhood and she was wonderful. But we were supervised and made to behave with the pets. So if anyone gives you the kid excuse, maybe offer to take your kiddos to meet them.

[Where_sMyWhite]

If there is a specific breed you are looking for, check out that breed’s national rescue. As well, check out breeders for “returns” or show dog washouts. A potential way to get a nice, adult dog that may be already house trained.

[cleo570]

Thank you for all the responses. Definitely some good suggestions here. I’m not in any hurry if I can’t find the perfect fit for my household (and a puppy is definitely NOT a fit!)

My kids are pretty dog savvy, even my 2 year old. Messing with my dog, no matter how tolerant he was, was a serious transgression, and they treat my sister’s Golden Retrievers (one senior guy and a year old pup) with the same respect. If they didn’t, then I couldn’t even think about a dog.

Sounds like an adult through a rescue is still a viable option, and I had not even thought about inquiring with a breeder. We are not breed specific, but I agree that a known history (and parentage) is a definite plus. I appreciate the advice!

[kdow]

I got my dog as an adult (5) through a shelter that doesn’t have ridiculously strict requirements - I am sure they would adopt out the appropriate dog to a home with kids - and though I didn’t have kids, it turned out he was STELLAR with them. So if I had young kids and not the time to train a puppy, that is totally the route I would go. Just give yourself plenty of time to look and talk to people in your area so they know what you are looking for.

You may also consider if you would be up for a “permanent foster” type arrangement for a dog that had some health issues - my aunt fosters dogs short term for a rescue that occasionally puts dogs in long term foster where they don’t think it is good for the dog to expect an adopter to take on future medical costs and complications and prefer to keep an eye on things. (One such was a dog who’d been hit by a car before they got her and had a permanent limp and developing arthritis in the opposite leg from increased use. She was a very nice dog and got around no problem, but there was a good chance of needing some kind of advanced joint care in the future, so they elected to find a permanent foster over adopting her out. Just meant the rescue was there as a resource when her needs got more significant, as I understand it.)