Such a difficult spot we all eventually wind up in.
Here’s what I got out of the process: leasing is wonderful, and I enjoy riding just as much without the ambitions I had when owning. However, since I moved to a new area, my reputation is much smaller, and I’ve become invisible at the barn as well as everywhere else, so making riding friends has been an uphill battle.
I sold out about 18 years ago, we moved, started a new business (which meant no time at all to ride) and I didn’t get back on a horse for about 8-9 years. Then I got back doing lessons for a time, and that was great to get my body back in shape. I didn’t miss the barnwork a bit.
Recently, we retired to a new area, and I had to do a lot of shopping around in the middle of Covid to find a barn with the trail access and horses to lease. It’s so much easier when you stay in one spot and people know you. Move to a new spot and you’re just another one of “those people” talking about probably imaginary past glories, right? I still haven’t found a lesson barn who is interested in a grey haired lady who’d like to jump around a little bit every week. I haven’t wanted to invest the time to do all the “rest of the work” that it would take to reestablish a reputation, but if there’s a riding association, a show association, a kids organization (Pony Club, 4H, etc.) you can volunteer in those venues to get known again if you want. Just takes effort.
I remember when we first sold out; I felt both relief (because managing the horses on a shrinking budget had become an anxiety that affected everything) and great sadness (I’d spent decades learning stuff that was now going to just die in my head). I gained a good 10 lbs which I haven’t lost yet (probably more to do with the stresses of the business than the loss of horses, but which cause doesn’t matter).
However, now I ride on my schedule, I can shop for the lease horse if I don’t like the one I have, I still can ride responsibly and use my knowledge (every ride is a training ride), I can increase or decrease how much time I spend at it, I’m happy contributing to the finances of someone else who is paying to keep an animal, and the weight of the heavy decisions doesn’t fall to me anymore.
And I’m getting older, so I see a time coming when I won’t be skipping out to the barn, but somewhat carefully trudging, and I’ll groom a lot more and ride a lot less. Leasing lets me keep my hand in without breaking the bank.
I have several friends in the same boat as we’ve all walked beside each other during this journey. My best gal pal still owns her two old gentlemen, lives in a new area (reputation long gone). She’s a FABULOUS horsewoman, but has become invisible at her barn, and she struggles sometimes because her age is catching up to her and she sometimes just cannot do what needs to be done anymore, but she doesn’t have the respectful coterie of younger riders around her happy to help out because of her past contributions to their horse journeys. I think that is the saddest thing. I am no longer close and cannot help her. I’ve decided I don’t want to struggle like that.
ETA: I also don’t want to spend money like that. Leasing helps me feel much more in control of the entertainment budget.