Aneurysm, just… gone/struggling after loss

[Mango20]

I’m so sorry. That must have been pretty traumatic, especially with your daughter riding.

in the early 90s, I had a lovely 9 year old go by a likely aneurysm (no necropsy, but the vet thought aneurysm). I found her dead in the field where she’d never lie down on purpose, and with no signs of kicking or struggling on the ground. it appeared that she just simply dropped dead. She was perfectly healthy, had gone on a trail ride the day before, and was eventing regularly. I guess I should feel lucky it happened in the field and not when we were away from home. It took a while to get over it, but I did end up buying more horses after that, and nothing like that has happened since.

[walktrot]

So sorry you witnessed such a traumatic end. I had to put my beloved 28 yo Paint gelding down last summer. He was a bundle of energy with a knee that finally wore out. Everyone thought he’d make until the cold weather at least. I thought the vet jumped the gun until I was able to see what she was concerned about. He declined very rapidly, three or four days with his knee losing its ability to control the hoof. I could have kept him going but I didn’t want to force him to be an old man.

I have concentrated on building an image in my head of my active, funny, happy, grazing buddy, doing his favorite things. I had enlargements made of a couple of favorite photos and hung them where I can look at them when I start to miss him. The tough part is still there and still hurts, but I have something that helps me divert my attention to what I loved about him when we were together,

[AndNirina]

Happy update We have found a new horse and he arrives today. Both my daughter and I have worked through a lot in coming to terms with the loss of our nice boy and now it’s time to go forward with a new horse. We found one that checks all the boxes we were hoping for and he arrives today.

Thank you for all your kind and healing words. We are very excited for what lies ahead. I think I’ll be willing to ride this one, too as I feel like it’s time to get back to it. Daughter has been riding consistently and showing her leased horse, she’s had a great last couple of shows. We luckily found a grief counselor for her who rides as well, so she has been super helpful.

I’ll update shortly with some pictures of our new guy.

[AndNirina]

The new guy is here and has been nothing short of amazing for our daughter. He’s everything we’d hope for, kind, honest, straightforward and lovely. The kid loves him and he loves the kid! We are very thankful to have found him. I’ve been enjoying hacking him, too. He had some big shoes to fill, and at 17.3 he not only figuratively but literally fills them. This past year has not been easy, but it’s okay.

[SharonA1]

Love his coloring and his benevolent expression (and he also looks like a muscle-bound hunk).

So glad you have found each other; the journey is unknown but we go on with it anyway!

[jonquil]

This is heartbreaking, but look how well you raised your daughter that she knew what to do and is able to move forward. You will too,but you’ve had a lot more years to absorb these blows. Be kind to yourself and let time do its work. Blessings to you.

[Foggy]

Your new horse is beautiful.

I feel like I lived your story, including losing my fellow in December. I had the pleasure of owning my guy for 7 years before he suddenly passed away, we believe from a stroke. He couldn’t stand on his hind legs. We did everything we could but it just wasn’t to be.
I was devastated. This guy allowed me to jump a course again, get back in the show ring. Was just so consistent that you never truly had a bad day.

I started looking half heartedly in January and found a lovely new fellow. He is working out great, but it was only recently that I was able to not compare everything to the first guy and literally cry every day for him.

Someone happened to mention that some animal communicators can talk to the horses after they have passed. I thought for the cost, why not try. I am on the fence about this, but have had a couple of situations that the communicator knew things that were not public knowledge, so why not try.
After I had the call with her and was able to “talk” to my horse I suddenly felt a lot better. I still miss him greatly but feel like I am finely able to start to move on.

[Annie10]

I’m so sorry for your loss.

You and your daughter suffered not only a very sudden loss, but a very traumatic one. Everyone deals with such situations in their own way and everyone grieves in their own way. You need to grieve how you grieve and not rush yourself or try follow some timeline or something.

Your new boy is lovely.