Another "what would you do" question

[OverandOnward]

I am sorry to stir the pot (or maybe not).

For those saying MYOB, is that what you would do in the same situation? If the young pony is painfully injured, maybe permanently, if the young rider and challenged rider get hurt — do you have any concern about that? If you were in the OP’s shoes, how would you feel when that happens?

Genuinely curious, I don’t know what it is like to be able to stand aside and watch the wreck happen, knowing I could have intervened and maybe made a difference. I am unable to MMOB and say nothing while watching the harm develop. But some people can do it, I just don’t know what that’s like.

[OfCourseItsAnAlter]

@OverandOnward

For those saying MYOB, is that what you would do in the same situation? If the young pony is painfully injured, maybe permanently, if the young rider and challenged rider get hurt — do you have any concern about that? If you were in the OP’s shoes, how would you feel when that happens?

Genuinely curious, I don’t know what it is like to be able to stand aside and watch the wreck happen, knowing I could have intervened and maybe made a difference. I am unable to MMOB and say nothing while watching the harm develop. But some people can do it, I just don’t know what that’s like.

Some of us have, sadly, learned from experience how attempting to intervene in a situation like this can blow up in your face, causing trouble for yourself and accomplishing nothing.

Have you ever successfully intervened in a situation like this? What happened?

[Equkelly]

@OverandOnward

Genuinely curious, I don’t know what it is like to be able to stand aside and watch the wreck happen, knowing I could have intervened and maybe made a difference. I am unable to MMOB and say nothing while watching the harm develop. But some people can do it, I just don’t know what that’s like.

I’m not necessarily in the MYOB camp but IME, confronting someone when they’re already drinking the koolaid won’t work.

For example about the lady with the pony, that trainer and that guy probably know in the back of their mind that he is too big to start a small pony. They just do not care. Narcissists don’t see others as actual beings that can feel pain. They don’t have empathy. Why would they care if the horse is in pain? That horse is just a character in the movie starring them.

You can’t go about it like that. But if you get them thinking that it’s in THEIR best interest not to screw up this horse’s back they’ll be more receptive to the idea.

But again you can’t go call them on it because that’ll just make them defensive. You have to drop hints and clues and get them to come to the conclusion on their own.

[Tarlo_Farm]

Don’t confront the followers, or the BO. Back the braggart into a corner and tell him you spoke to the “local coach” and tell him what they told you. Do a little research, contact others he says wanted him to stick around and ask them. Then TELL him what they told you. This kind of nut is dangerous and annoying. I can’t stand people like that and have no compunction about confronting their nonsense. WTH??? Shut him up.

[BatCoach]

It really stinks that the BO is getting ‘lessons’ from this yahoo. Its always rather surprising to me when novice rider/owners decide to start a horse business or run a boarding barn, but since you feel comfortable keeping your horse there is this perhaps a case of the BO having sufficient knowledge of horse management but not many saddle hours and starting a new discipline w/ new yahoo trainer?

At any rate, the deck is stacked against you on this one since the rest of the barn is somehow charmed by this moron. If you have a decent relationship with any of his students, ask whey they like lessoning with him. Is he the ONLY teacher they have ever had? Are they impressed with his personal horse? Or is he nicer (blowing smoke) than a more knowledgeable past trainer? Or is he just cheap and convenient? Try to get a handle on WHY they are listening to him, and formulate a strategy from there.

I really like the idea someone had upthread about bringing in a trainer you know to do a clinic, or even give you some lessons just so the newbies can see what a good trainer looks like. Bonus points if this new trainer actually has worked in the same circles as the trainers this yahoo says he has. You get an instant fact checker who can point out the lies - taking the dirty work off of you.

Fact-check him as much as you can. Do some research on local show circuits just to double check scores (or lack thereof). I would be surprised if he has any show results- but it is worth checking just so you have some info in your back pocket.

Does this yahoo ever attempt to give you free tips (particularly wrong ones)? If so, that is a GOLDEN opportunity to poke holes in him. Don’t be afraid to refute his BS and offer the truth. Your barnmates will overhear this and eventually, when they get hurt or disappointed by his methods might turn to you for help or a good trainer referral
.

[moonlitoaksranch]

Oh wow. Sounds like his career is about to take off with his own line of speshul tack, a sassy name, and technique videos. Let me guess, he wears tight jeans or breeches to attract middle aged horsewomen with money to spare?

Your barn owner knows what he is, but is either falling for it, or feels they need the board money. You know that most boarding barns struggle, so don’t be too hard on them. At some point, his brazen idiocy is going to affect you and your horse, either directly, or indirectly. I would start shopping for a back up barn, just in case it all hits the fan.

[moonlitoaksranch]

I would not leave the barn until I’ve pulled aside each and every parent and warned them specifically of unsafe practices you have seen. Then, wash your hands and walk away. If they listen, perhaps you can save their kids a lot of pain and heartache. If not, it’s on them.

[Jealoushe]

@Ghazzu

If I didn’t know better, I’d swear the guy’s initials must be NP…

I was going to ask if his name rhymes with Dick

[demidq]

Thank you all.
The barn is small with only about 10 boarders, many not very experienced. This guy is more of a not terribly bright big mouth offering advice and lessons rather than setting up as a professional (tho he is accepting payment therefore technically a “professional”). He is not NEARLY in the same class as Nick! He doesn’t bad-mouth anyone, just always has a boast and an opinion no matter what is said. I am retired and avoid the barn when it is busy (COVID you know) so I only occasionally hear him spouting off. I have been at the barn when he was giving lessons and copious dubious advice tho, and I was present when he trailered the new young pony this past weekend. I have challenged him a few times on his boasts but not when others have been around.
I have spoken to the BO who is upset that he is presenting as the barn trainer in the community, and she will ask him about his insurance. She is aware now that he is a liability risk, as well as negatively affecting the barn’s reputation. I will leave it to her and her husband. They are reasonable, pleasant people but as I said in my first post , just not terribly experienced. I will also have a tactful word with the very nice lady who owns the new pony. I feel the others can look out for themselves.
I may not need to worry much longer, tho, as he has run into some legal problems (not horse related) and may lose his driving license and job. He won’t be able to pay board if he is not working.
edited to add- pony owner is grandmother of overhorsed child- child was on borrowed horse. Rider with neuro issues not interested in my input.

[OverandOnward]

Thanks for updating us.

@demidq

I may not need to worry much longer, tho, as he has run into some legal problems (not horse related) and may lose his driving license and job. He won’t be able to pay board if he is not working.

Sometimes it’s kind of a funny coincidence that some other, unrelated, issue is what takes them out of the game.

Possibly the common thread is that oversteps in all parts of life means that the wheels could come off at any time.

Hopefully, once he sorts out his other issues, he decides that horses are a terrible idea for his ideas and schemes. And all other living things. Including humans.

[Scribbler]

It’s true that any uncertified fool can pay extra and get coach insurance. But interestingly, the very suggestion that they do so is often enough to run them off the place. They figure they won’t actually make enough to pay off the insurance before things fall apart.

And some people may not qualify for insurance at all. Especially if they have had trouble with the law. I’m sure the current trouble isn’t the first time.

[demidq]

Unfortunately no. As I said, not too bright.