Anxiety/Vacation Horse Care

[ClassyJumper]

I had no idea how to title this but does anyone get extreme anxiety when leaving their farm to go on vacation? I have 2 horses and 2 dogs and a responsible girl who has taken care of them for several years but I feel just crippled with anxiety about it. Mostly I think it is because I have never left them in winter and I am just thinking of all the extra things that could go wrong. In the summer I always convince myself they have grass and full water troughs and if no one showed up they really would be just fine and that seems to ease most of the worry.

Anyone else feel this way? How do you deal so you can actually enjoy yourself away from the everyday grind of farm chores?

[S1969]

Well, anxiety, although maybe not extreme anxiety. I think there are two things that are important – one is communication with the farm sitter. My daughter was a pet sitter as well and I told her this was a big thing for clients. I want at least one text a day from the farm sitter - but especially the one at night after feeding that says things like “horses all set for the night. Water tanks full, blankets on…going to be chilly but they have lots of hay. Good night!” That makes me sleep at night.

The other is a backup plan. Who else do you know that can help if you don’t hear from your farm sitter? (And I’d probably ask the farm sitter for an emergency contact number for her – if you don’t hear from her - how do you reach her to know if her phone died, or she’s in the hospital?)

[Foxglove]

@S1969 Has given you great advice --two other suggestions --write a hard copy letter to whatever vet u use regularly and let him/her know dates, expectations, and that you will foot the bill. Our instructions to house/horse sitters are, “Call the vet first.” The vet will come to the house (for dogs, cats, or horses -if I pay the farm call). The vet will then call me directly with the situation. I’d rather talk to him than the farm sitter --by the time she calls me, I evaluate, she calls vet, we are losing time. So, call the vet first. In 40 years the only time this was an issue was when I forgot to tell a new farm sitter that one horse cribbed. She mistook the grunting and huffing for colic. Vet came, explained, left. $45 farm call --and I was glad to pay it. What if she’d mistaken a colic for cribbing? (shudder).

Second --and you may have done this --pay your sitter to come for an hour or however long, and do a walk through with you —if you have written instructions --give her a copy (my young people like emailed copies so they can look on their phones while working, but I leave a printed hard copy in the house and in the barn) --be silent as the sitter figures out how many cups to give old Fred, and what supplements. If you see an omission, have sitter write it on to the directions --oops, you forgot the cup of oats --underline that! Make sure all important phone numbers are on the sitter’s phone. And I too like a quick photo of my critters sent now and then by the sitter.

Third -(and some people on this BB said this was objectionable) -have a spy. About two or three days into a trip, I have a horse-owning neighbor drop by --I tell the sitter that she is coming to pick up a saddle pad, and ask the sitter if she wants the person to call/text before she comes so having someone suddenly at the barn isn’t scary). The friend-who-is-a-spy comes by, and picks up the saddle pad —meanwhile checking that water tanks are full, hay is out, gates shut, and all three horses have 12 legs. She may chat up the sitter on the pretext that she is looking for someone to watch her place --she tells the sitter how great I think she is --(which I do or I wouldn’t have her there). I do this because a second friend had a teenage relative watch her place --only to come home after a week to bone-dry water tanks --girl forgot to fill them! It was rainy enough that horses were ok --but I feel a spy is a good idea!

Last --the back up plan —make sure your sitter has someone who can sub for her and you are ok with that. I have a deep bench of farm sitters --so the sitter always has a number she can call.

Then enjoy yourself. My neighbor (different one than spy) --has NEVER taken a vacation with her husband—either he or she always stays home to “watch the horses.” My feeling is that there is NOTHING that can happen that will be different if I am there —horses get hurt (call the vet). Horses get sick (call the vet). The outcome will be the same if sitter calls vet or I call vet —oh, and I have a backup vet, too. I travel (or did before COVID) out of the US and am gone for weeks at a time. Might help to take short trips first, to ease your mind that all is well . . .

[four2farm]

@ClassyJumper

The above have listed so many good tips! I use a lot of them.

I have the same anxiety, make two weeks worth of grain packets to be gone a week, put out three weeks of hay, tell all of my horse friends so they can lend a hand in case of emergency, notify my vet and farrier just in case. Check the fence, check the weather.

I make myself miserable with anxiety. I think what if I miss my flight back or the car breaks down? The truth is nothing has ever happened, the horses are fine, the dogs are fine, the cats and farm are fine. Nothing bad has ever happened, not a scratch.

Just do the best you can with it, enjoy your vacation, give yourself permission to check your phone. You are not alone in this, I go through the same thing. I do like it when my farm sitter sends pictures of the stunning normality of things while I am gone.

Have a good trip!

[trubandloki]

@Foxglove

and all three horses have 12 legs

Your farrier bills must be crazy high with all three of your horses each having 12 legs.

I am also jealous of your farm call fee. So cheap.

To the OP, I am with you. Even when someone I know and trust is there watching my animals I am a wreck about them any time I am away.
Lots of great advice up thread. I totally agree with not only having a back up person on notice that you are away (I give their number to the house sitter) and having someone stop by to check up on things.

[Arelle]

I had to go away for a friend’s destination wedding last year in Cabo.

I boarded all of my horses for the week I was gone. It cost me a pretty penny, but the boarding facility is a mile from the best veterinary hospital in North Texas if anything were to happen and the owners are decent friends of mine who have foaled out my mares the last few years.

I was able to chill out and relax knowing my horses were on a fully staffed 24x7 property a stone’s throw from the vet.

I got to have anxiety about my dogs with the house sitter, instead. Still haven’t solved that problem. Much to my husband’s chagrin we don’t travel much. I’m too stressed about what’s going on at home to enjoy it, so why waste that money.

[2DogsFarm]

@trubandloki

Your farrier bills must be crazy high with all three of your horses each having 12 legs.

I had that same thought, but OTOH, great cross-country mounts

OP: as a new farmowner I had angst.
Lucky my job was about a 10min drive away & understanding boss had no objection to my driving home at lunch to make sure both horses were still alive. Which I did for the first month or two.
My epihany came the night I was having dinner at a friend’s - about 5mi from home - and a horrific storm started. Rain pouring down, lightning…
My horses are out 24/7 with free access to stalls.
But I cut my visit short & rushed home to bring horses in. Got completely soaked myself.
They munched on the hay I put out for about 5min, then sauntered back out into the storm. Because: grass
I decided then & there to let them pick In or Out.
Lunchtime checks ceased as well.

Since then I have been gone for as long as 10 days, as far away as China & as long as my phone works I relax.
Pre-pandemic I volunteered weekly 40mi away.
I do have one house, just across the road, of horsy neighbors & they have my # .
Used only once, when mini limboed under the fence to visit a neighbor’s garden

My current farmsitter (for the last 10yrs) works at my feedstore, also very nearby.
Being a guy, I know he won’t call unless something goes wrong & to date, no calls.
I do let my vet know who is authorized to call if I’m out if town & have a list of emergency #s - vet, shoer, hayguy & farmsitter along with my cell# - posted in the barn.

You have to trust & chillax.
Horses can mangle themselves overnight, while you sleep.
And if you work away from home…
Even at a boarding barn, how many have 24/7 surveillance in the barn?

[candyappy]

@Foxglove

My feeling is that there is NOTHING that can happen that will be different if I am there —horses get hurt (call the vet). Horses get sick (call the vet). The outcome will be the same if sitter calls vet or I call vet

I have left my animals with a caretaker while we vacationed in the past, the simple fact is that nobody knows your animals like you do and I just don’t trust that a " sitter" will pick up on the majority of things that might plague your animals while they are watching them. Unless they are major.

We just do the best we can and hope for the best. I know that won’t help anyone’s anxiety about leaving their animals in the care of others ( mine included) but you just have to do it.

Find someone you trust with your life. It helps.

[Foxglove]

@candyappy --while I agree that “no one knows” his/her horse as well as the owner, I don’t think for me that justifies a 24/7 supervision. Unless you are bunked in the same stall with your horse (my vet does this when one of his own mares is due to foal) then there are times your horse is not supervised and could well come down with one of the many, many things that a horse can contract --or an injury. If you are there or not, this will happen. Every injury we’ve ever had in the 55 years of horse ownership have been “something in the pasture,” --no huge fall at a show, no nail in the barn to rip open thin skin —and so I am totally comfortable that my farm and my routine are as safe as a human can make them. I feed twice a day and check all horses on all sides. Do I do temperature? no. Heart rate? no. Respirations? no. And so something insidious might escape me . . .and sometimes my husband feeds for me (non-horse person, barely knows their names); sometimes one of my kids drops buy and does the feeding --again not familiar with the horses --and sometimes (rarely) I am ill, or incapacitated --then someone (the girl that works for me) does the feeding. And in all the years of horse ownership --this has worked for me --I do the best I can for the horses --pat each, take my plane ticket and fly to my vacation destination --knowing I have done my best --I can do no more. Actually, I have greater anxiety at horse shows and archery matches when we must stable on the grounds and stay in a motel or camper far from the grounds —worst is portable corrals —I can barely sleep knowing only a thin strand of electric stands between my boy and a bear.

But each must decide for herself --for me, 3 weeks in Scotland was totally enjoyable --and my horses were fine! As soon as COVID is resolved, I’m off to Wyoming!

[candyappy]

@Foxglove

@candyappy --while I agree that “no one knows” his/her horse as well as the owner, I don’t think for me that justifies a 24/7 supervision. Unless you are bunked in the same stall with your horse (my vet does this when one of his own mares is due to foal) then there are times your horse is not supervised and could well come down with one of the many, many things that a horse can contract --or an injury. If you are there or not, this will happen. Every injury we’ve ever had in the 55 years of horse ownership have been “something in the pasture,” --no huge fall at a show, no nail in the barn to rip open thin skin —and so I am totally comfortable that my farm and my routine are as safe as a human can make them. I feed twice a day and check all horses on all sides. Do I do temperature? no. Heart rate? no. Respirations? no. And so something insidious might escape me . . .and sometimes my husband feeds for me (non-horse person, barely knows their names); sometimes one of my kids drops buy and does the feeding --again not familiar with the horses --and sometimes (rarely) I am ill, or incapacitated --then someone (the girl that works for me) does the feeding. And in all the years of horse ownership --this has worked for me --I do the best I can for the horses --pat each, take my plane ticket and fly to my vacation destination --knowing I have done my best --I can do no more. Actually, I have greater anxiety at horse shows and archery matches when we must stable on the grounds and stay in a motel or camper far from the grounds —worst is portable corrals —I can barely sleep knowing only a thin strand of electric stands between my boy and a bear.

But each must decide for herself --for me, 3 weeks in Scotland was totally enjoyable --and my horses were fine! As soon as COVID is resolved, I’m off to Wyoming!

I was actually agreeing with you ( in a round about way). We feed morning and night and unless I ride sometime during the day I don’t see my guys in-between that since the pasture / barn is uphill from my house. I just do a once over with my eyes as I am feeding/ glance at the water to see how much is gone and if I happen to be away and my daughter feeds they don’t get that.

I do worry about all my animals when we are gone but it isn’t all consuming and doesn’t keep me from enjoying myself, but I do feel better when they are back in my care.

[Foxglove]

As I thought about my reply and your response yesterday (I am pretty much alone on my farm 24/7 with COVID lockdown --just the horses for company --so lots of time to think) I considered one aspect of “leaving horses alone” that I had not when I replied.

Cost/Investment!

While I love my boys --none of them are high-dollar horses --does that make a difference? I think so --my vet goes no where --but he has a couple of “Million Dollar” stallions on his place, as well as 60 mares --some his, some in for breeding IVF. If I were him, I’d never go any place cuz --one, he IS the vet, and two, that’s a lot of money to leave in someone’s hands!

A while ago there was a thread from someone who was moving a high dollar show horse from a stable where there was 24 hour supervision of horses (cameras/staff) to her own home, She asked how we who worked (I did at the time, now retired) “watched” our horses while we were at work. Again, I don’t --but if I’d paid $50K for my horse, I’d keep a camera on him/her 24/7 if possible.

Visited a race horse stable once where high dollar stallions stood for breeding. I asked why the aisles in front of the stalls were raked gravel (like Zen Garden gravel) all raked smooth —guide said it was so the staff could tell if anyone had walked into the stable … this was before cameras were in high dollar barns, so low tech way to keep track if someone was there.

Again, I think the comfort level is up to the individual. I have friends who only take vacations with their dog(s) finding dog-friendly places to go. I use a house sitter. I think my dog likes the house sitter more than me.

[tabula_rashah]

The only time DH and I can both get away from work is in the winter, so that’s always when we go on vacation. I have someone I trust take care of my horses, leave very specific instructions, have extra people on call as needed and my vet knows that I’m gone and has a letter stating the amount that can be spent without my consent, euthanizia consent if it’s catastrophic, etc. The dog goes with us and my in-laws live with us, so they take care of the cats.

On another note, I used to be the house-sitter and built up a client base/ reputation where I could pick and choose what I wanted to do. I’ve handled plenty of emergencies at houses- from colics to frozen pipes to major snowstorms where I had to walk a few miles to get to the house to calling plumbers, electricians. A qualified responsible person should be fine (just please be willing to pay them well!)

[HPFarmette]

I was so anxious the first time I left the farmette. Was going to a family wedding in Georgia. Halfway to the airport an hour from home, I looked at the truck seat and realized I had forgotten my suitcase. There was no turning back, I would have missed the plane. When I got to Georgia my nephew took me to a thrift shop next to the church and I bought clothes.
Still always anxious leaving the farmette, but not as bad as that first time.

[eponacelt]

After 10 years on the farm, my anxiety about travel is way less than it used to be. Part of that is because I have a stellar farm sitter. She texts me pictures of EVERY SINGLE ANIMAL (including the chickens) each time she visits (which when the dogs are here, is 3 times a day). I love her so much and while she’s twice as expensive as my last farmsitter, she’s worth every single penny.

When we’re gone for longer periods of time, I actually worry more about the dogs than the horses. We’ve left the farm for 3+ weeks at a time twice in the past 10 years, and both times have had a responsible friend stay at the house. Again, this is largely so the dogs would have someone here.

Other things that have helped are trying to anticipate issue with things like fencing. We’ve left pre-made fence patches that have been easy to help mend broken boards and all the necessary, easy to use tools to make the patch work. I also leave the name and number of a good friend (really more like family) who can come help with major issues if they arise.

And finally, for those long trips, I’ve left a stash of cash in case something needs to be purchased for the animals that I forgot about. Our farmsitter only every needed to do that once, and it was dog food that never showed up in the mail. Because I was dumb and stopped my mail service, and forgot I needed the dog food delivered!

It’ll get easier. I promise.

[stb]

I really struggle with leaving my animals for vacation. A couple of years ago I found an amazing farm sitter, which helped tremendously. Unfortunately, she is now out of the business and I am gutted. The sitter I used before her was reliable and good, though not as sharp. I just found out she is pregnant and due in the next few months so that will no longer be an option either.

I have to admit I am having some anxiety about this. Many years ago, and before I had a farm, I took a trip with one of my dogs (hunt test) and left the other dog at home with my husband and college age daughter. Someone left a big bottle of Rimadyl too close to the edge of the counter and the dog got into the bottle and overdosed. We did everything we could to save her but she died a week later from kidney failure. So, while everyone always says the animals will be fine, I know that sometimes they actually won’t. I try not to let it get into my head but I have to admit I am always somewhat reluctant to travel. Of course, having a farm and horses to add to the equation doesn’t help either. It’s a problem.

[Rallycairn]

I have to agree with you, stb. Many years ago – 20 + years ago – DH and I still tried to travel together. One trip – beloved kitty disappeared. Caretaker was my husband’s sister, an adult – she said she didn’t think much about the kitty not showing up when she came by (!!!), not realizing that should have been cause for concern. Another trip – power at the house failed, husband lost an Oscar fish he’d had for a few years because of no power to the aquarium. We pretty quickly decided to not travel together, and that’s just been our way. Once or twice in over 20 years, we’ve done 1 night away together, but literally only a couple of times, and never longer than one night. Yes, things can happen while you are home, and few if any of us have eyes on our animals 24/7 – but it’s hard to find anyone who is going to recognize subtle issues as well as those who live with the animals, no one is going to be as invested as you (even a good professional), etc.

I’m so glad many of you have had good experiences! And I’m sorry if I’m bolstering anxiety. But that’s just me. I fantasize about having a caretaker’s house built on the farm, and having someone caring and invested right here – but figure that’s probably just a pipe dream.

[TheJenners]

Ask your doc for a teeny xanax or something, because if you are that glued to your farm that you get crippling anxiety to leave them in the hands of your chosen farm sitter, then a little chemical help might be called for.

Horses are horses. They have a routine, yes they like to kill themselves, but if you have halfway decent help and pay them according to that knowledge base, they will make it. I don’t fuss over my horses when I’m home anymore than I do when I’m away. We had a very unusual lightning storm last year that had me checking my cameras fairly anxiously, but otherwise no.

Granted my Dad’s horse did colic for only the 2nd time in his 27 years when my Dad went on vacation to Eastern Europe, so there is that

[TheJenners]

PS I am NOT making a dig on your re the xanax reference. I was having stupid anxiety about something and a quarter of a xanax made it go away. Just so you know.

[ClassyJumper]

Thank you everyone! Helps to know that I am not alone in this. I went away for a week and guess what? All four animals are still alive and no worse for the wear even though we had a snow storm (not very common here) while I was gone.

The build up is definitely worse for me, once I am on my way I realize it it out of my hands and whatever happens is gonna happen. I love my sitter but I do think I need to find a back up or two and that will help some.

I originally had family coming to stay and care for the animals and on short notice had to call to sitter which didn’t help the situation + covid and being conflicted about traveling in the first place.

I hope this thread helps someone else! I know we all love our animals but I do think it is important to step away every now and again… but everyone is different!