Hey there, new here…
Looking for advice from fellow barn managers, riding instructors, etc. I do not own the farm, but I am responsible for care of 30-40 horses every morning.
Lately I’ve been dealing with extreme anxiety after leaving the farm. Specifically, I’m worrying about things such as “Did I forget to do such and such…?” Some of the things I’m worrying about are pretty ridiculous, but I’m getting in my own head. Things like… forgetting to turn a horse out, locking a gait, etc. I’m a good worker and don’t do things like this, but I can’t stop feeling anxious about these things. I do a walk through and check everything before I leave, which is why I say it’s ridiculous that I’m worrying about these things, but once the thought enters my mind I can’t get rid of it. This is taking a huge toll on me as I can’t relax at home.
I’m wondering if anyone else has delt with this and what has worked for you ?
That sounds stressful! Maybe take a photo of the locked gate/turned out horse/whatever other things that stress you out on your phone?
Have a detailed check list posted in the barn and make sure everything is checked off before you leave. Then take a photo of the checklist so when you’re doubting yourself late at night you can look at it to ease your fears
I’m always worrying about stuff like this. No great advice other than seconding taking photos of bigger worry things. I take this same picture daily because I always worry about his stall not being clipped shut.
The checklist and photo of the checklist is a great idea!
There is a gate where I work that has a very specific, necessary configuration
I do actually take a photo of it so I know it was done correctly.
I also created a job manual and routinely update it so I can refer to it to be sure I haven’t missed anything.
At least you clearly care about doing a good job, that’s a fine attribute. Just find ways to assure yourself, so you can relax (which is important to doing your job well also).
seven head here, Everything is done in a specific order each time
we have WiFi covering the entire place so put up a lot of cameras such as each stall that we can check at will. In the years these have been up it makes it very easy to check. This has been a great use to check on the guys when ever there is the thought of a possible issue.
With horses the unexpected seems to always happen.
Are you the sole caretaker of these 30-40 horses?
Do you have anxiety or intrusive thoughts or compulsive behavior in other areas of life? Like worrying you left the stove on or constantly checking to see if you lost your wallet or having intrusive thoughts about possible catastrophe? If you have a tendency that way the barn might become a focus. You could look at counselling for anxiety.
Otherwise it also helps to set up a routine that works for you, and instill in yourself good habits that make Sense and safety in your situation. Also having double fall backs like the feed room door is shut and the property perimeter gate is shut so if a horse did get out of a paddock it couldn’t get into trouble.
I have my horses at home ( have for many years) and this is my #1 problem. I can’t tell you how many times I have come in for the evening and had the fear I forgot to chain the gate. In my defense I have forgotten to do it on a number of occasions 
Thankfully they only took advantage once and no harm done. My gate will stay shut unless one of them bangs against it so I pull it closed and then sometimes my attention goes elsewhere for some reason and I forget to hook the chain.
Sometimes when we do the same tasks day to day we just don’t think about what we are doing so it can be easy to not pay attention. It becomes so automatic just doing the chores.
Even when I am certain I did it I still have to go out and look. I think it comes with the responsibility…
What Scribbler posted 100%.
I keep my horses at home.
I use a checklist and take pictures of things.
I also use two locks on the doors, gates, etc. if one fails there is a backup.
There are a couple of younger girls that come and help, and then the owners take care of evening chores.
I have a history of anxiety/depression and am looking into restarting my medication. I think I may have OCD as well, but not diagnosed formally.
An easy hack for leaving hydrants on is to get colorful hair scrunchies and put them over the hydrant handle. Put the scrunchie on your wrist when you turn the water on; it will remind you to turn the water off.
A “closing the barn” checklist that you can run through every evening would be a great tool; and it will be helpful for anyone who has to cover a shift for you.
I have a few things that I worry about after I’ve left the location, gates shut, water off, door locked, dogs in. I have trained myself to stop and touch or look at the thing when I do it; when I go back through my memory I can remember touching it, usually with a specific thought (it’s warm out, it’s cold out, I see that horse). It seems to build in layers in my memory that work well for my brain to scramble around in. lol You’re not alone, even if it’s flat out general anxiety.
And one can never have too many photos of cute Fjords. 
Love the mane, BTW.
As Clanter says ‘What could go wrong??’ 
We just discovered that the mini donk goes down on his knees and can slip under a fence. Oh boy time to repair all that baby lower fence board.
I immediately thought OCD when I read OPs post. I was diagnosed with it 10+ years ago. Thankfully, it no longer rules my life as it once did.
It is extremely hard to do, but with intrusive obsessive thoughts, I had to learn to not engage with the anxious thought. I basically would respond to the anxious “what if” thought by saying: “sure, maybe that will happen. Oh well. I’m moving on.” I’d respond in the same way every time the thought came up. Eventually, my brain accepted what i was telling it. When I engage with the thought, try to reassure myself 100 percent, try to figure out why I’m having the thought that the suffering skyrockets.
Medication, yoga, and purchasing my first horse have also helped my mental health a great deal.
The checklist is a really good idea.
But as someone like me who is very obsessive, the checklist can become overwhelming because I naturally want to include every individual step of every task on it. Carrying a checklist around while you work will slow you down. Then comes the desire to have a second checklist to make sure that all the items on the first checklist were done correctly.
What works best for me is to just do all the tasks that you normally do, Don’t worry about using a checklist as you go from item to item and task to task.
Then, when you believe the barn is all done all done and ready for you to leave for the day, that is the time to pull out the final checklist, and do a final walk through. For example, walk by the stalls and gates and check each latch, each bucket and trough and hydrant. This is your time to be in inspection mode, making sure everything in your domain is right. It will go pretty quickly, make you feel better, and you will leave with the final list in your pocket knowing that you have completed and final checked everything.
And I’d do a paper on a clipboard checklist. A fresh checklist done every day that stays with you. If you start to worry at home, just look at it.
This job is starting to cause you mental strife in your personal life to the point it is dominating your thoughts after hours. Other posters have given you wonderful tips to cope with the intrusive thoughts and anxieties surrounding caring for a large barn. My suggestion is these are not permanent solutions and this job sounds unsustainable long term. That is a lot of horses for one main person to do with two girls (assuming you have to manage or direct them) and someone doing night check. A mental check list sounds exhausting for that many horses. I speak from experience here - which may be coloring my response, but I’m old enough now that no job is worth my mental health, no matter how much I love taking care of horses. This industry has a lot of burnout and you, a good worker, may be experiencing why that is the case.
