I have a relatively unathletic horse that is not fast, not very good-looking but young and sound and jumps anything. But I think my trainer wants to work with my better-looking horse who is aged and needs a lot of conditioning work.
anyone else have this issue?
Sure. But they don’t have to like my horse, they just have to be polite and teach me successfully. If they believe the horse is unsuitable for your goals (not just unlikely to win the dressage) or is unsafe, that’s a different conversation and I would for sure hear them out and take it into consideration. For example I don’t know what level you are competing that “fast” is an issueat, but a horse that is not physically capable of making the time at Novice or doesn’t have the stride to get the combinations is probably not a good fit.
Yes. Prior to buying that horse my trainer dragged me around to sit on everything else that was for sale in the area, implored me not to buy the horse and I went and bought the horse anyways lol. No regrets and she ended up coming around and loving him too. In hindsight she should have encouraged me as I sure did need a lot of help!
I think many of my coaches have not liked many of my horses for some reason. Doesn’t bother me. I don’t pay them to like them.
Same here. I adore my draft crosses but my coach isn’t really always a fan. That’s okay, I’m not overly impressed with the horse she picked out for herself either. Neither of us is riding a unicorn unfortunately. As another poster said, I don’t pay her to like my horses, but to teach and challenge us and she does a great job.
I loved my late gelding to pieces, but as a teen both of my trainers pulled me aside and gave me the Alpo Speech, as another COTHer eloquently put it.
Glad I didn’t listen to them, he was the horse of my life-time and I miss him every day… I still ride with them occasionally and they do help me with my current project. I enjoy what they teach me but I didn’t pick them for their taste in horses, I picked them because their teaching style complements my learning style (most of the time :winkgrin: ).
My Pony-Club instructor that I still ride with decades later, however, I do very much care for whether or not she likes a horse (she happened to loff my late gelding and stuck with me through thick and thin with him). She really likes my current guy as well.
I think as long as the horse is safe, and sound, that an instructor should want and be willing to help you with the partner you’ve chosen. Personally, I am a little sour of some instructors who rag their client’s horses – I’ve met many that really just want to shop with their client’s pocketbooks and pick out a fancy big horse that they can win on, and usually pick a horse that for a lack of better words needs to be “retuned” with training rides at least 1-2x a week…
This. If a trainer or coach ragged on one of my horses, they would be removed from the equation. That’s not what I’m paying for. I’ve also ceased riding with coaches who were overly derogatory about me the owner/rider as well. Again, not what I’m paying for.
agree, It taints the overall relationship. Those that are ragging on the horse are usually project this same tone onto the rider- IT PREVENTS trust and it prevents a student from learning.
I have had someone hate my horse, but they always wanted to up-sell.
I think there is a difference between ragging on a horse and admitting to the owner that the mount they have chosen might not be the right horse for the job and the horse is limiting them in their desired goals.
Not saying anyone here does it but it is not uncommon for people to take any negative comment about Dobbin and decide the trainer is ragging on their horse when really the trainer is being honest that Dobbin is not suitable.
My trainer and I joke about the short neck on my pony being very limiting for any higher level goals. Thankfully I have no higher level goals.
My coach was not impressed with a horse I was riding a couple of horses ago. She commented that she didn’t trust him and I should be careful and that getting the same relationship with him that I had with others would be hit/miss. Of all the horses that I have ridden, he is the only one she made negative comments about - including the Rocky Mountain horse that she helped develop some great basic dressage and jumping and a mare that definitely did not come across as upper level potential but also became a lovely ride.She always knew that I would not be a regular competitor or have an upper level goals.
I don’t see her comments as negative given the bigger picture and the other horses she was supportive about.
Never more than once. I don’t pay people to hate on my horse.
I agree with @trubandloki. There is a big difference between a trainer saying, “this horse is not appropriate for your goals” and “I hate this horse.” A trainer may make the former statement out of compassion for the horse as well as for the rider. Not so much with the second statement.
Riding with a trainer who flat out does not like the horse is setting up the horse and the rider for failure, given that the horse will always be blamed for when things go pear-shaped and there will always be subtle and not-so-subtle pressure to move on to another horse. The trainer probably shouldn’t love the horse like the rider/owner and should be objective but a lack of respect for the horse will never end well, IMHO. It’s like riding with a trainer who thinks the rider is fundamentally unteachable. That never ends well either.
My “horse of a lifetime” (who has been with me since I bought him off the backside as a five-year-old - he’s now 22) is not what you would call a natural in dressage. I came from an H/J background where I coached the “A’s” so that wasn’t helping anyone.
My utterly amazing and wildly talented dressage coach and I spent more than a year working with him before he and I could pull off a left lead canter in the dressage ring. I had an eventing coach who was top flight, but for dressage, I always rode with my dressage instructor.
It was constant work to get him moving in a balanced and forward frame. His preferred way of going was in the typical OTTB style of a pogo stick - up/down/up/down. After being with my coach for almost two years, I broke down crying during a lesson. Watching a young student on a super green OTTB (with 10/10 movement) quickly accomplish things I couldn’t with more than 18 months of training was a breaking point.
My trainer’s response to this breakdown? She essentially said that my horse wasn’t suitable for what I wanted to do because he’d never be a solid dressage horse. Then she pretty much told me if I wanted to be successful as an eventer I would need to sell him. Those words cut like a knife. I honestly liked, respected, and trusted this woman. However, I knew this was THE horse, and I was not going to get rid of him. I stopped riding with her after that although we maintained a friendship.
Fast forward six months later to our first HT (USEA recognized in Area IV) where he finishes 6th out of over 20 entries, and I am crying again - this time with joy. He went on to compete with me all over the US in recognized events, and I’ve got a wall full of ribbons and photos to show what an “unsuitable” horse he was for the job. He even won on his dressage score a few times (28 was his best)!
My event coach stepped in and was a fantastic guide, mentor, and friend who believed that my horse and I were perfect for each other. She conceded that he was a hard horse to ride and that not many people could or would want to ride him, but that he was ideal for me and she was right.
Sorry for the long story, but I wanted to say if you have a trainer who says something like what mine said to you - then you must evaluate the relationship. I have been an instructor and trainer for more than 30 years, and I NEVER tell my clients I do not like their horses (and boy have I disliked many). As long as the horse is safe, sound and the rider is happy why would it ever be my place to judge?
Just my .02.
It is not my place to judge. It is my place to help you achieve your goals and be safe. That includes evaluating the partnership you have with your horse. Sometimes that is an evolutionary process that we review as we go along. Anything else just gets in the way, really.
I do think it’s important for your trainer to be a good match for your horse, however… I have a TB and a dressage trainer I rode with briefly “liked” him just fine… but they just did not get along during training rides. The trainer wasn’t used to riding TBs and despite getting at least a training ride and a lesson every week, we weren’t progressing, so I moved along to a different training situation.
Like others, I think it depends some on why the trainer dislikes the horse. My old horse was “quirky” and my trainer dealt with her like a champ, but did make it clear that I could accomplish a lot more with a different horse. Well sure, but this one was quirky for dressage but dead safe, could go anywhere, never spooky, nothing naughty. I think despite his feelings about her limiting me somewhat, he had a weird sort of affection for her.
If the trainer doesn’t like the horse because it’s dangerous…that’s something I’d be much more inclined to listen to.
And, like others, I’ve seen trainers who seem to convince their clients to get fancier horses than they should, and end up needing a ton of training rides and the trainer showing the horse.
Sure. It doesn’t bother me any, as long as the trainer still teaches me as well as her other students, and doesn’t rag on my horse. Not everyone likes every horse, and that’s totally fine, as long as they’re not a-hats about it.
In my experience, I had two trainers who hated my horse. The first was the trainer who advised me he was a good sale prospect (which he was and that’s what I was looking for). She immediately figured out he was not as easy of a project as we thought, and while I was willing to work with him, she trash talked him around the farm. We left pretty quickly.
My second trainer started out loving him (big draft cross, adorable but motivationally challenged) and as soon as he threw tantrums and we had to work through some struggles, she advised me to send him to auction because nobody was every going to fix his psycho brain.
Cue trainer three, my magical unicorn of a trainer who believes in us and has taken said psycho horse foxhunting for a season, we’ve trail ridden everywhere, shown, evented, galloped bareback in a halter through a field, etc. Still have the horse, and we’ve made incredible improvements with a trainer who believed in us. He might not have been her favorite to start, but when I explained our situation and said I need someone to help me work with what I’ve got, she did exactly that and came up with a program that worked for us. Now, he’s one of her favorites and he has far exceeded our expectations.
Needless to say, I don’t waste time with trainers who don’t like my horse. It’s one thing if your horse just isn’t their favorite but they know the situation and are willing to work with you. It’s another beast completely if their contempt for your horse goes as far to interfere with their training with you.
NOTE: Obviously it’s a different situation if said horse is truly dangerous/inappropriate/literally will never meet the goals you so desperately want to reach. Then you should probably realize you’re wearing the crazy pants and listen to your trainer 
I am so thankful for my trainer. I have brought all kinds of beasts to him and he has worked with each and every one of them with patience and understanding. He has taken time to sit me down if he felt the horse wasn’t physically capable of what I wanted and we made a plan on what to do from there, but he has NEVER dissed any of my horses and has worked with every single one of them like he would any of the fancy ones in his barn (I get everything off the track because that’s what I can afford, and boy have some of them been interesting!) He is truly wonderful and I am so lucky to have his help.
I posted some links on Facebook to some really attractive draft crosses that were in a recent local auction, and my dressage trainer commented–“please no more thick necked horses to train!” or something like that. She knew I wasn’t actually looking though, and has done an amazing job helping my thick-necked draft cross look like an actual dressage horse.
The reverse however, is probably true, since D runs and hides when he sees my dressage trainer:lol:.
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