Aunt Esther responds
[QUOTE=Rollkur Barbie;4669634]
Dear Aunt Esther,
I just don’t understand what all the hooha is about my first name.
I am blonde, with long legs and from Wellington, while my is sister Fashionista Barbie, of Miami Beach (perhaps you know her?). I think I look stunning on my bling covered horsie, as he’s jet black, and sets off my blonde hair and oversized breasts very nicely. With his long mane flowing from his rounded muscled neck, and my long tresses flowing behind his, we are quite the sight at the shows. How can I show us off to our best advantage if I cannot round his neck like I do? Without rollkur, I’d just be another blonde bimbo on a horse.
Please help!
Your fan,
Rollkur Barbie[/QUOTE]
Aunt Esther, national and international Purse Champion, takes time from her very busy day to respond to Rollkur Barbie.
Aunt Esther of course has no issues with LDR, which is the same as rollkur.
Aunt Esther reminds Rollkur Barbie that the term “rollkur” was originally coined by a constipated gentleman of the Northern European Persuasion who, when he had run out of toilet paper while on the john shouted out to his wife to bring another roll. She came dancing in, nose plugged, roll of TP in hand, and laughed “Schatzi, der dancing mit scheissenpapier bist Roll Kur!!!”
Mr. Northern European Persuasion though this funny and did an imitation of it the following day to his friends while having lunch at some training facility of the same Northern European Persuasion. As they had been excessively libated at this point, Mr. NEP was acting out the entire thing, complete with visual of him sitting on the toilet, chin upon chest, going “GRRRRRRRRR!”
An uptight visitor saw this and chimed in “Ja, der chin on der chest, der LDR, das ist der ROLLKUR!!!”
And THIS, my dearest Rollkur Barbie, is how the term “rollkur” came to be. Because Uptight Visitor, also one to nip at too much Gewustraminner, was a jolly gossip, she shared the story that soon spread like ein Waldfire throughout the horse world.
When showing, Aunt Esther suggests that Rollkur Barbie strap her “girls” down in something less, ah, strappy than her current Enell and let them dance along. Aunt Esther especially finds this works for her friends of the Abundant Chest Persuasion when tests are judged by males, who are so taken with the gentle movement of the shadbelly that they score quite high no matter if Poopsie Ponie biffs every other one across the diagonal.
When outside the show ring it does not matter. One does not LDR in the show ring.
Aunt Esther does suggest less bling, a good hairnet and a plaited mane.
