Barn dynamics/rules

So, I have been taking lessons at a place 5 minutes from my house. Not really my favorite style of riding, but the horses are nice, instructor is decent and safe, and I get a horse fix now that I’ve been horseless for many years.

My issue is the “unwritten rules” or just barn culture. Obviously, if I’m not happy, go somewhere else, right? I may do that. However, I’m wondering about these rules. My mount for the day peed in the tack stall. A hassle to clean, but I took care of it. I was talked to by the instructor at the time AND the barn owner. For allowing the horse to pee there.

This past weekend, my mount made an uncharacteristic STOP on the flat to poop. He REFUSED to move forward. A boarder lectured me DURING MY LESSON about how I needed to work through that and how inappropriate it was to let him stop.

In my riding life, I’ve never encountered these “rules”, but barns are free to set their own. Is this typical in other barns?

My reason for leaving is not that I don’t like the rules. It’s the boarder in the second scenario. That’s a different story.

Any other odd rules folks here have encountered? Not my barn, so I follow the rules. If I want my own rules, I get my own barn. Please no lectures on that. I get it. Just wondering what kinds of things others have experienced.

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I fell afoul of the unwritten “never move the jumps in the arena” rule at my first barn in the US. That’s when I realized most people at barns here have a trainer who does all that stuff for them (fills them in on the rules, has their back to some degree if they break a rule, and, uh, moves the jumps!) so I just spent a lot more time watching and listening to try and divine what each barn culture has been.

But it’s not so much about the rules, as how they’re enforced. The sport is too expensive to have people snapping at you or lecturing.

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What? I’ve never even heard of this before. Is it even possible to stop a horse from peeing? That sounds like it could lead to health/urinary tract problems and also sounds inhumane.

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I am not sure I consider either of those as rules but more of just a thing. I have never seen these things on a rule list.

Though I am not sure how one is supposed to prevent a horse from peeing in the aisle. I agree that it is messy and a nuisance and no matter what you do it never cleans up all the way (I have one who likes to pee in the aisle). But I have yet to find a way to make her not pee in the aisle.
Did they at least offer you advice on how they wanted you to prevent a horse that is not yours from peeing in the aisle?

There are very many people who feel very strongly about the manuring while moving thing. If you are at a show you clearly can not stop to manure so I can understand why that is upsetting from that point of view. I personally like to stop so what I am cleaning up in the indoor is all in one pile. Much easier for people to avoid it and much easier to clean up.

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No advice. She seemed to think I had ignored the signals. I was brushing him. No let down. No warning. Just parked and dropped in about 3 seconds. I understand the show thing. I’m not showing and neither is the horse. And yeah, someone else (the instructor) has to clean it up. So a neat pile sounds way better than scattered all over the arena.

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That is an unusual thing about US barns I think. I never move the jumps or poles.

On the other hand, if I set up a course in the arena, I always take it down when I’m done. However, there are boarders who set up a couple of jumps and leave them. It would be nice if they’d put them away.

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Uh yeah, what are you supposed to do? Beat them? If you threw shavings or whatever on it and then swept it up, who actually cares. As for a boarder - let that crap flow right off your back, you are a paying client and they are a paying client, not your boss.

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This. Boarders can say any dumb or aggressive or bsc thing that pops into their head and it doesn’t matter because they don’t set the rules. Dont engage or get driven off by a problem fellow boarder.

That said many aspects of horse life lend themselves to people talking louder and with more urgency than in any other aspect of most of our lives. Horse people can get very shouty. Big dangerous animals, crowded facilities, outdoor voices, long distances. People can sound angry or rude when they don’t think they are.

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True. She doesn’t set the rules. She seems to have taken particular delight in showing up during my lesson and harassing me. This is the third time. Everyone, including the instructor, walks on eggshells because she’s friends with the barn owner. I ride to have fun and relax. Don’t really want the drama. Going to set a boundary, civilly, next week and if I get fired from taking lessons, so be it.

Yes, I should let it roll off my back. Better than I do at least.

Thank you.

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Being new at a barn can be tough when the barn culture has many unwritten rules and it can be pretty annoying. Give it some time and see if the pros outweigh the cons.

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Have they discussed this with the horses? There are horses who wait to poop and/or pee when they walk into their stall. I remember one that always peed when he was in the crossties. What was disgusting was the instructor. She stood in the middle of the puddle while continuing with her student. Shavings not necessary? I can’t imagine why anyone would expect they can potty train a horse. Is there an aid we should be using? Or maybe two, one for mounted, one on the ground? A lot of horses are keyed up enough at a show to poop while underway. I worked with an instructor I had known for a while who admonished me when we stopped to poop. It is much easier to clean up when it is in a pile. Anyway, I had other things higher up on my list. He didn’t like the part of X-Halt-Salute where he was supposed to stop, for example. One judge’s comment was “nice try.”

One of the reasons you spend hours watching your horse - any horse, actually - is figuing out their foibles. My gelding would spread his hind legs and stretch out, a sign he was going to pee, right? Not quite. He pushed himself up on his tiptoes and then it started. He almost never peed or pooped in the aisleway. If he did I knew he had been inside too long. Usually he would poop and pee when he saw me coming to bring him in, then met me at the gate. If he didn’t do it then, he waited until I turned him out. Poop, pee, then a drink of water, then over to the round bale. He figured all of this out himself. He was on pasture board and the unchallenged alpha for 20 years. The herd would back off the round bale until he found a good spot and then resume eating.

The “culture” in that barn appears to be rooted in lack of training for the instructors, boarders, and other humans. Sounds like they don’t know enough about horses, their behavior, and how they learn. Why else would they expect anyone to successfully train a horse to manage an unpredictable natural activity? Sounds like they haven’t figured it out themselves. If they had, the horse would know it wasn’t okay. Maybe it’s vocal: walk, trot, don’t pee in here, canter, etc.

You can learn so much about horse behavior by standing for 10-15 minutes (longer if you have time). Everyone knows about herd dynamics and pecking order. When my horse was getting old, around 26-27, he started retiring from the alpha role. I was surprised how many people were watching the changes. He delegated things to number two. If a new horse arrived they kept an eye on him. If the newbie started walking, two of them would stay between the newbie and their aging leader.

Watch the horses. Especially how they interact with people.

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My response wouldn’t be civil. “Ew no ma’am, you don’t get to talk to me like that.”

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My barn prefer horses to not pee in the cross ties because there are not any shavings down to soak it up and it gets under the mats. If your horse starts stretching out or dropping to pee, you take them back to the stall or outside to pee. However other than mentioning the above steps, you wouldn’t get yelled at about it unless it was a routine occurrence and you weren’t doing anything to stop it. The horse obviously is not punished if they do pee.

I feel this is reasonable because most of the time when you are paying attention, it is easy tell the horse is going to pee and relocate them. It doesn’t seem to bother the horses. It doesn’t happen very often.

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My horse takes this as a - here hold my beer - moment.

Like the other day they manured while I was currying them and I went to get grab the tools to clean it up and while I was grabbing tools a lake of pee was added to the mess.

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By “harassing” do you mean correcting your position, aids, style of riding or???

Though, IMHO, it’s the trainer’s place to step in & remind Asshat that she/he is being paid to teach & no Peanut Gallery input is needed.
In a civil manner, of course.
If, as you say, the trainer is afraid of displeasing BOs buddy, then IIWM, I’d have zero problem informing Asshat of same.
As politely as I could… The 1st time.
If a 2nd happens, then not so much.

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Just to illustrate how all over the place barn rules can be I was once at a place where the rule was to stop when the horse decided to manure so it was in a tidy pile that you were supposed to immediately leap off your horse and spirit away. Not that I don’t agree with the logic with some of the new engineered footings but that is a real pain in the bum if you are on a young horse that is full of squirrels and you are trying to install a “go” button.

I don’t know how anyone could prevent a horse from urinating in a way that would be very fair to the horse. An old racehorse trainer once told me when I was a kid that I could teach my horse to relieve himself in a bucket in his stall before I tacked up. I just needed to keep the bucket handy and every time he took the stance whistle the same little tune while he was “occupied.” I was never successful but the horse seemed highly amused.

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I will definitely get after anyone who lets a lesson horse stop to poop, or their own horse if I’m their trainer. It’s hard to train out of them once someone lets them do it. The lesson horses that the little kids have trained to stop won’t move no matter how hard you use the stick. Then it will happen in a flat class or on the way to the first jump in the show ring.

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Have you been watching Bayleigh on TT too? She’s hilarious

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well there is a command used to tell a horse to pee

You can teach any horse to urinate “on command”.

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