Barn Etiquette/Groom Tipping

[Go_Fish]

@horse_crazyi

I’ve always wondered - how much do you tip for X-mas? I am at a large boarding facility - there is 1 main groom plus 1 assistant who do the turn out’s and grooming, plus a “barn manager” who runs the facility and with 6 guys working under him. They are all fantastic but it starts adding up tipping. How much do tip when there are so many people at the facility. I’ve been given the “main” groom $100 per horse but what do you do for the other 7 guys? I swear every X-mas I have a slight meltdown with how much to tip without completely breaking the bank.

Full training here. I tip the trainer a month’s training at Christmas. I tip each groom (2) half of that.

[AliCat]

@Go Fish

Full training here. I tip the trainer a month’s training at Christmas. I tip each groom (2) half of that.

Just for clarification, my barn is $2500 a month for full training board. If that is how much I’m supposed to be gifting my trainer at Christmas, I’m waaayyyyyy off base.

[Go_Fish]

@AliCat

Just for clarification, my barn is $2500 a month for full training board. If that is how much I’m supposed to be gifting my trainer at Christmas, I’m waaayyyyyy off base.

No. I don’t tip for board amount.

[BeeHoney]

I also, in a lifetime in the industry, have never heard of per ride or weekly tipping for barn staff. If I were in your shoes I would occasionally bring some baked goods or some other kind of treat, and tip at shows and the holidays.

I just want to add, it is pretty much NEVER appropriate to give barn staff alcohol. I would be furious if one of my clients gave any of my workers beer, wine or liquor. There are so many other great options, it isn’t necessary to do that anyway. Cash is the best, also gas cards, grocery cards, and occasionally baked goods or other edible treats.

[alibi_18]

@BeeHoney

I just want to add, it is pretty much NEVER appropriate to give barn staff alcohol. I would be furious if one of my clients gave any of my workers beer, wine or liquor. There are so many other great options, it isn’t necessary to do that anyway. Cash is the best, also gas cards, grocery cards, and occasionally baked goods or other edible treats.

Control freak much?

I’m sorry but staff can enjoy a good glass of wine too… or a scotch or some fancy beer. I know I do.

Barn staff are not second class citizen drunks…

[Faye]

@freshman

It makes sense to me. You lease a horse at a fancy barn 1-2 times per week. Horse arrives fully tacked up and ready to go. How do you think that happens? By magic? Tip them now. By which I mean daily/per ride.

It happened not because of magic, but that’s part of the groom’s job. Some barns will have clients (owners, leasers, students) tack up their own horse, some not. If its their policy that they have the horse all tacked up and ready to go for the clients, then tipping after each ride is not to be expected. (its actually crazy). If the student shows up late every single week and calls to have her horse tacked up, then yeah, tipping is probably appreciated.

[ladyj79]

Having been a groom at a high dollar training barn, nope, there is not an expectation of a weekly tip.

the alcohol prohibition above is also weird. Comical. Somewhat dehumanizing.

Grooms are humans. adult humans of age frequently have a drink now and then. Gifts of nice beverages are appreciated.

[skydy]

@BeeHoney

I also, in a lifetime in the industry, have never heard of per ride or weekly tipping for barn staff. If I were in your shoes I would occasionally bring some baked goods or some other kind of treat, and tip at shows and the holidays.

I just want to add, it is pretty much NEVER appropriate to give barn staff alcohol. I would be furious if one of my clients gave any of my workers beer, wine or liquor. There are so many other great options, it isn’t necessary to do that anyway. Cash is the best, also gas cards, grocery cards, and occasionally baked goods or other edible treats.

I doubt anyone would give wine or beer unless they knew what type of drink the groom enjoys, so no one would be corrupting innocent barn workers. It’s nice for people to have a little luxury that perhaps isn’t within their budget.

Have you never given your farrier a six pack, just because? I thought that was pretty standard.

I’ve given wine to the vet as well.

[Tha_Ridge]

@skydy

I doubt anyone would give wine or beer unless they knew what type of drink the groom enjoys, so no one would be corrupting innocent barn workers. It’s nice for people to have a little luxury that perhaps isn’t within their budget.

Have you never given your farrier a six pack, just because? I thought that was pretty standard.

I’ve given wine to the vet as well.

Yeah, bringing a six-pack to the guys at the end of a long week of showing was pretty normal (and appreciated), too, where I come from.

[OntheFence]

I have been at a few BNT full service barns and was never expected to tip on a weekly basis. Always tip for shows and at Christmas.

[Mardi]

@happytimes2207

… had never heard of an expectation for weekly tipping from lesson clients. If it is the norm, I feel terrible that’s it’s been almost a year and no one mentioned anything to me prior to now.

Do you have any once a week employees at home ? Such as a gardener, or housekeeper ? If yes, would you tip them once a week ?
Of course not.

[paw]

@skydy

I doubt anyone would give wine or beer unless they knew what type of drink the groom enjoys, so no one would be corrupting innocent barn workers. It’s nice for people to have a little luxury that perhaps isn’t within their budget.

Have you never given your farrier a six pack, just because? I thought that was pretty standard.

I’ve given wine to the vet as well.

Please just acknowledge that there are people for whom a gift of alcohol who not be appropriate - those who don’t drink by choice, and those who shoudln’t (are in recovery, etc). As long as you(g) are sensitive to the possibility, it’s probably ok. OTOH, there are employers who really don’t want their employees drinking on the job - their barn, their choice, right?

[MHM]

@paw

OTOH, there are employers who really don’t want their employees drinking on the job - their barn, their choice, right?

Is there some rule that says the gift has to be consumed immediately? If someone gives a groom a cake, can they save it for dinner? Or do they have to eat it on the spot?

[ladyj79]

@paw

Please just acknowledge that there are people for whom a gift of alcohol who not be appropriate - those who don’t drink by choice, and those who shoudln’t (are in recovery, etc). As long as you(g) are sensitive to the possibility, it’s probably ok. OTOH, there are employers who really don’t want their employees drinking on the job - their barn, their choice, right?

Most employers anywhere dont want employees drinking on the job, barns are no exception. I dont think anyone was suggesting you give anyone a bottle of Jack to drink mid workday

[skydy]

@paw

Please just acknowledge that there are people for whom a gift of alcohol who not be appropriate - those who don’t drink by choice, and those who shoudln’t (are in recovery, etc). As long as you(g) are sensitive to the possibility, it’s probably ok. OTOH, there are employers who really don’t want their employees drinking on the job - their barn, their choice, right?

I thought my post made it clear that we are assuming you know well enough the person to whom you are giving the gift, so those faux pas would not occur. Most employees know their employer’s policies about drinking on the job and act accordingly.

I’ve never had the vet uncork the Christmas wine I’ve given them before they left my property…

[alibi_18]

@paw

Please just acknowledge that there are people for whom a gift of alcohol who not be appropriate - those who don’t drink by choice, and those who shoudln’t (are in recovery, etc). As long as you(g) are sensitive to the possibility, it’s probably ok. OTOH, there are employers who really don’t want their employees drinking on the job - their barn, their choice, right?

You forgot to mention bigots.

[Tha_Ridge]

@MHM

Is there some rule that says the gift has to be consumed immediately? If someone gives a groom a cake, can they save it for dinner? Or do they have to eat it on the spot?

YES. You know that you don’t really appreciate the bottle of wine gifted unless you chug it right then and there. Bad etiquette otherwise!

[ladyj79]

@Tha Ridge

YES. You know that you don’t really appreciate the bottle of wine gifted unless you chug it right then and there. Bad etiquette otherwise!

Reminding me of the bread thread :lol::lol::lol:

[paw]

@alibi_18

You forgot to mention bigots.

Pardon?

Perhaps you’ve never been at a barn where someone on the staff had a(n) (unacknowledged) problem with alcohol. Congrats. Are people who are sensitive to such issues bigots?

[BeeHoney]

I feel I should clarify. I have lived and worked and been an employer in this industry for decades. Whether people want to admit it or not, rates of alcoholism among both barn staff and equine related contractors are relatively high. I would say that MOST, if not nearly all people with a history of a problem with alcohol or a family member with a problem with alcohol are VERY discreet about it, especially with customers. Many alcoholics are able to function “under the radar” with friends, family and employers for extended periods of time. I think that it is unrealistic to somehow think you can “know” whether or not the barn staff or other person you are giving a gift to has an issue or not. One of my friends just cheerfully mentioned that she gave a special bottle of liquor to her vet, obviously she didn’t know what I know–that he was in rehab for alcoholism several years ago.

I get it that to many people a nice bottle of wine or liquor is considered a nice gift to give. I grew up thinking that alcohol was a traditional, lovely gift or that giving some beer to workers after a job was a nice thing to do. However, over the years I have seen gifts of alcohol, generously given with the best of intentions, inadvertently given to someone with a problem with alcohol (or to a person who doesn’t know how to consume it responsibly) resulting in unfortunate consequences such as drunk driving, car accidents, jail time, family issues, and loss of employment. I could write out the details of each of these things that I have witnessed (all within the equine industry), but that would make for a very long post. If you know someone so well that you have sat down to meals with them and enjoyed an alcoholic beverage with them and know their tastes, by all means, give a gift of wine, beer, or liquor if you feel that is appropriate. But I don’t think this is the case for most people with regards to their barn staff.

I respect that other people may feel differently. However, based on my own experiences it is a concern that I am sensitive to. Many people are able to enjoy alcohol responsibly, but those who aren’t able to can be very vulnerable. I also find it incredibly easy to give other gifts like cash, gas cards, grocery cards, gift baskets, edible treats, etc. that don’t have any worries associated with them. If you aren’t certain what to give as a gift, ask your trainer or barn manager. I think there was a lot we didn’t know about alcoholism in the past, but now that I know, I’m okay letting letting go of the tradition of giving alcohol as a gift. If anyone thinks I’m a complete jerk for not allowing alcohol/gifts of alcohol specifically within the confines of my equine business, I can live with that.