Barn Etiquette/Groom Tipping

[katherineyyyy]

Just popping in to say that I’m all for killing the tradition of giving anyone alcohol as a gift, in any context. We live in a time where I think a ton of people are coming to terms with their parents’ or grandparents’ untreated alcoholism and trying to break the cycle; I know Millennials and Gen Z’ers are drinking a ton less in general than previous generations because I think we just know more now about how much of a prison alcohol can truly be. And most people who don’t drink don’t necessarily go around telling everybody because then they have to answer uncomfortable questions or have weird convo’s about it. Just go for a nice Visa gift card tbh!!!

[trubandloki]

@BeeHoney

I also find it incredibly easy to give other gifts like cash, gas cards, grocery cards, gift baskets, edible treats, etc. that don’t have any worries associated with them.

Just curious, why do you say none of these things have worries associated with them?
All gifts have worries associated with them.
Cash - what if they have a gambling problem they have been controlling and your cash gift makes them feel like they can gamble just that amount, and then they lose their rent money?
Food gifts are never safe unless you know all of their allergies and what if they have an eating disorder?

My point is, your list of problems with alcohol as a gift applies to pretty much all gifts.

Thankfully most people who receive a bottle of wine that they do not want (or a box of chocolates they will never eat, or a gift card to a place they will never go) turn around and give it to someone else and are still thankful that someone thought to give them something.

[ladyj79]

I love it when these conversations turn to othering.

[BeeHoney]

@trubandloki

Just curious, why do you say none of these things have worries associated with them?
All gifts have worries associated with them.
Cash - what if they have a gambling problem they have been controlling and your cash gift makes them feel like they can gamble just that amount, and then they lose their rent money?
Food gifts are never safe unless you know all of their allergies and what if they have an eating disorder?

My point is, your list of problems with alcohol as a gift applies to pretty much all gifts.

Thankfully most people who receive a bottle of wine that they do not want (or a box of chocolates they will never eat, or a gift card to a place they will never go) turn around and give it to someone else and are still thankful that someone thought to give them something.

I dunno, I suppose it could happen but I’ve never seen anyone wreck their car, lose their job, or end up in jail as a result of a gift of cash, food or grocery/gas cards. However, I think you make a good point about being sensitive about gifts. And I’ll echo what I said before–if you aren’t sure, ask your trainer or BM, because they might be able to make a good suggestion for you.

[MHM]

Or Just. Give. Cash.

[ladyj79]

If you’re really wondering, ask your groom, if you’re not, just like humans, grooms will be gracious about presents, or not, again like humans.