Why bullies seem to exist more in barns has nothing to do at all with the location, urban or suburban or rural.
It has very much to do with being self employed and not needing to report to or answer to anybody else. They do it because they can. They don’t worry about somebody going over their heads to report them. Many, NOT all, of these people just can’t work in a normal job as part of a team or follow any rules. Civil discussions are unlikely, the instant you quietly question them, they turn on you.
If somebody has been good but has changed for the worst or is erratic, nice one minute, screaming the next? You have to consider mental issues issues and substance abuse. They seldom change and often it continues to spiral down into toxicity and can become unsafe.
Just remember how many horse Pros get hurt and often Opiates were the go to, how easy we have learned it is to get addicted and what that addiction does to the adducts behavior. Add alcohol, which has long been a problem in barns, and behavior can really go off the rails.
Whether it’s should be defined as bullying or not, if you feel uncomfortable around erratic, nasty, belligerent behavior? There’s a reason you are uncomfortable. It’s your common sense telling you to remove yourself. Listen to that little voice,
Nobody has to put up with toxic barn environments… Only reason they exist is people keep paying to stay in them,
For OP, keep looking, good barns are out there, might have to drive a bit further, maybe pay a bit more. But they are there.
Oh, based on my nearly 50 years boarding out? The horse care really is never as good as you might think and often starting to subtly slide once whoever is in charge started acting this way, beware. Think about carefully, there may be some yellow flags you missed or shrugged off. You are busy, you aren’t there all day every day so small details getting missed or minor mistakes may not be important but bet they are there and getting miore frequent.
