I get that completely!
We didn’t even ok this boarder, our BO did. We rent our place from him. There was a miscommunication (HUGE ONE) and he thought we were hinting/asking if they could board there. We weren’t but by the time we figured all this out, he had already told the Problem Boarders and their teenage DD that everything was hunky dory so we were stuck.
Woof, it sure is a beautiful thing that it takes all types to make the world go 'round, isn’t it?
To be clear, I completely support “your barn, your rules”. If you (general) want to make a rule that every boarder has to wear a purple jumpsuit and hop on one foot when approaching the barn, you do you! I also understand that cultural norms differ between barns and that property layout and target market can dictate changes in what is acceptable and appropriate. But I gotta say:
… a lot of what wound up in this thread, to me, falls more into “your barn, your rules” instead of “common sense/courtesy […] ridiculous rule”.
I guess it’s possible I’m just a jerk, and that it is sheer dumb luck that I’ve never been kicked out of/fired from any of the farms at which I’ve worked and boarded!
Did this last night.
Did this a couple weeks ago.
In the summer, if I’m just hacking or conditioning, I’m not wearing pants.
As a dude, I don’t think anyone wants to see me in a halter top, but did the horse part last night too.
The only competition I ever won with my current mare was mounted games on New Year’s, in which mimosa races prominently featured.
Most of our arenas don’t have gates, and some of them don’t have fences.
I do do this fairly regularly, because I like clean tack, but if my horse’s residence at a facility is contingent on this, I’d want that fact to be surfaced well before I chose to move in, not when I’m unloading.
Anyway, now that I’ve thoroughly enumerated my crimes!
Broadly, as an instructor and a leader, I learned some time ago the fact that several other folks on this thread have pointed out: Making rules for the collective is almost never a productive way to address a problem with one person, in part because it punishes the wrong people, but chiefly because it doesn’t work.
The experiences of those in this thread who have attempted to resolve an individual problem with a collective rule would seem to support that.
my daughter had her horse in our house with her in the den watching TV
I came home early one day as it was too hot to continue working, as always counted the horses in the pasture when I got home then had to look around for missing horse
Could not find the horse, so went looking for the kids only to find both in the house, daughter’s excuse was it was too hot outside for her horse.
Some people are neurodivergent who ride and the idea that “something is so socially obvious you don’t need to spell it out” isn’t true for everyone. Also, some non-horse people like pony moms might see people doing something and not fully understand why it’s so necessary (especially in certain arena settings). It always helps to tell people “why” something is prohibited IMHO, versus just “don’t do it.”
My limited experience with a neurodivergent fellow boarder – Asperger’s, I think – was that yes they would miss out on the social norms and cues – but when a necessary norm was explained directly, they adopted it immediately and remembered it for life. Best rules-follower ever. No ‘oh I’m so sorry, I forgot!’ three times a week. They also helped ‘remind’ others (after a follow-up chat about politeness 
). 
Interesting that you are ignoring the context of my rule remark about closed gates. Just that you and your crew are too badass for such nonsense.
Here’s the rest of the post about closed riding arena gates …
I do explain to people the why.
I was cleaning out my email and found this
OLD BROADS’ RIDING RULES.
… aka “Her Majesty’s Riding Rules”
We DO NOT need to show up with our hair combed, make up on and wearing a clean shirt.
Moaning, groaning and complaining about aching muscles is perfectly acceptable, as is taking Motrin prior to a ride.
Helping someone on or off the horse does not mean the rider is an invalid. It only means the horse got taller overnight.
No one will comment about how big someone’s butt looks in a saddle.
Everyone will wait, patiently, while someone dismounts and adjusts equipment. Everyone will also wait, patiently, until that person remounts and is ready to move on…no matter how long that takes.
When a horse is acting up we will accept that the horse is just having a bad hair day and it is not the rider’s fault.
Mentioning it is too hot, too dry, too humid, too wet, too buggy, etc., is considered self e xpression, not whining.
Wanting to be first, last, walk, or just stop does not mean the rider is a wimp. Sometimes it is necessary to teach a horse who is in charge.
We will take the time to discuss the important issues of the day like who is dating who, who is cheating on who and any other relevant information which needs to be passed on.
Not keeping your horse at the Gaited Horse/Warp Speed (if we all ride gaited horses) is not a Federal Crime. With all that is going on today, the FBI has too much on its plate to follow us around.
We will acknowledge that horses are very strange animals and sometimes for no reason at all we fall off of them. If this happens to any rider the other riders will ascertain that the person is okay and then not mention the incident to another living soul, especially husbands and significant others.
We will acknowledge, without apology, that riding more than 2 1/2 hours increases our grumpy level far more than any ego benefits we may get from riding longer.
Our horses are not fat, they are big boned.
Looking at my bouncing fat is NOT an acceptable way of determining if I have a good seat. My fat always bounces, thank you. It is a cushion I carry in case I fall off.
Yes, I do have 7 horses and 6 saddles, did I ask you how many golf clubs your husband has?
Although I will beat your butt around the next corner I need to tell you again that “I am not competitive!”
No, I have not seen ANY correlation with the challenges of keeping a mare versus a nice, gentle, reasonable gelding and the fact that my husband says I am sometimes difficult and moody! What is your point?
I never “treat” my horses to anything I do not like myself. Ever tried hay?
I need to keep this horse riding mysterious and strange sounding. If everyone else finds out how much fun it is the price of the horses will go up and I wont be able to afford a dozen of them.
OMG I freaking love it!!!
Nope, I’m not. I explicitly said in my own post, prior to quoting you, that:
But the point that I was making with my own post was that none of the rules I quoted are things that are universally applicable to all contexts. That mileage may vary. That there are still excellent, well-run, extremely professional barns out there that still leave room for doing these kinds of things with your horse, and that those barns remain that way by addressing problems with individual boarders by talking to those specific boarders, rather than posting an ineffectual ever-growing set of rules.
I did, in the posts, see a number of rules that I did think are universal and should go without saying… and yet often do not. A selection:
Are there contexts in which every single one of the rules that I quoted in my first post to the thread, including yours, could make perfect sense? Certainly. But the implication of the OP was that this was about rules that should be so obvious that folks shouldn’t need to be told/that no one should ever do these things, and I clearly don’t think that any of that first set falls into that category.
There can be a difference in how you call door. Some people open the door to the arena, poke their head in, and helpfully call “Door!” to the rider who just got dumped when their horse teleported sideways when the door opened. Some people stand outside the door and call “Door!” until someone riding inside responds. I found my horses got a little anxious if someone yelled and didn’t open the door within a few seconds, which makes me prefer the call, wait 2 seconds, open the door and call again (the horse hears the first call, and if the rider missed the first they hear the second and can call back if I should wait a moment before entering).
I even encountered a person who went to the extreme of calling “Door!” every two seconds as they approached barn or arena, right up until they got inside. It was at least six “Door!” calls every time so you can guess how far away they were when they started.
Writing down how the barn does it isn’t an unreasonable thing where walls and doors are solid and you can’t see in or out.
This was me.
The arena was in the center of the barn, the stalls were on the sides with a full wall in between. The only entrance to the arena was a small hallway from each side. It was summer, all doors were open. I was standing in the horse stall aisle, 15 feet or better from the actual arena door, getting the crinkly wrapper off a salt block. I got my ASS reamed that I should have been doing [something, not sure what] to warn the riders of my actions. Noted to self 1) english riders can be very touchy and 2) beware of ANY actions within sight of the arena door (not even actually opening, or entering, or anything - if you can see the door start saying door). In my defense, the damned trash can was in the aisle to the arena, so I was standing close to toss the wrapper as soon as I got it off.
Maybe it’s just my area, but I have never ever been in a western barn that has the “door!” rule - only english ones.
And having it in writing makes it hard for them to “forget” or “I didn’t know”
Also, inevitably, certain people will set a bad example not following certain rules, causing everyone to lapse. Having it in writing takes away the excuse that the BO is coming after a specific person when they try to get people back into the routine of obeying things.
I’m in a board barn right now that has rules for how tack is hung up in the tack room. What each boarders tack-space looks like (no bottles/rags sitting around visible, no overflowing bins, no general untidiness). These are not written rules. They are coached by the BM/trainer.
I get it. This barn wants to project a professional image. The BM is also the principal trainer. She wants boarders who are active with their horses, and working toward some goal, no matter how small. She wants to maintain a certain level of her business. An image that includes a tidy landscape.
She’s also attentive to the barn and all things horse, and anything out of order may mean something is wrong that needs to be fixed. Good order gives her a more comfortable feeling about her surroundings.
I recently visited an upscale show barn that is even more particular about how bridles and saddles are hung, where saddle pads are kept, etc. They have an even greater emphasis on image. They are a trainer barn who regularly show on the ‘A’ circuit. Their rules help maintain an image that is a reflection of those expectations. It’s working for them, maintaining their clientele and their standards.
I think ‘the rules’, written and unwritten, can send a message about what kind of boarder the facility wants in residence. I don’t have a problem with that. It’s their barn, their life, their goals and aspirations.
As boarders we can seek our own level. It can be tough sometimes because of distance from home to work to barn, of course. But that’s what it comes down to, IMO.
I didn’t think the person I knew was the only one, and I wondered what had prompted the behaviour.
Some people just don’t want to take responsibility for training their own horses. A fellow boarder used to demand exclusive arena use, and had tantrums if anyone dared to walk their horse past the open door, or past the ring if outside. They demanded everyone else call door, but didn’t do it themselves. I even latched the big doors from the inside once so I wouldn’t be surprised, and this person went squirming between the door and wall to get in and undo the latch. Fortunately this made enough noise that neither I nor my horse were startled. The whole barn heaved a sigh of relief when that boarder finally left.
Oh man, what a show! Of course, the more you bubble wrap them, the more reactive they get. I’ve encountered all methods of alerting someone in the ring to your presence, and you’re right that it varies.
At one barn, the horse access to the indoor was a garage door with a human “house” door next to it. The outside garage door switch was permanently broken, so everyone would walk up to the human door, open it while holding the horse outside, push the exit button from the inside, and walk back out to wait for it to open. Calling “door” was a bit useless with all that, but you were supposed to do it at least before you hit the button that sent the (noisy) garage door going up.
It was a busy barn, the garage door itself broke often. We started just walking horses through the human door 
. Then you called “door” before you brought a horse through - the horses were very used to people going in and out.
Looking back, if my horse can’t handle the garage door going up with no warning, I have training to do. Since moving my retiree to a small but… rambunctious barn, I’ve realized how much they’ll learn to shrug off if you get them used to it. But that’s just me.
10/10, would agree. The more they get used to seeing, the more broke and ho-hum they get. Quiet really can be a problem for some of them.
Yeah, sometimes it isn’t the thing making the horse react … it is how the horse is reacting that we need to work on.
Horses have to learn to handle life, what is common in their world. Just as people do. That’s a learning process and doesn’t happen in an instant. But often that’s the thing to work on, IMO.
A horse at a prior barn expressed some anxiety when he was led out and saw horse blankets draped over a fence to air out. The handler asked us huffily to move the blankets. I said let’s help desensitize the horse, instead. This is the world he’s living in, those blankets are not a danger to him, he’s going to see them again … let’s help him be comfortable with them. It wasn’t hard, he just needed time to approach as he felt comfortable, and get some big sniffs. He didn’t care much after that.
The “door” call is important, though. There are environments when the potential for real harm is too great to let it go.
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