I know all about having your confidence destroyed. Just look at the responses to some of my early posts here. My ex, who was my horse heroine (female version of a hero) thoroughly and completely destroyed my confidence. Granted, I had only been riding 2 months when I adopted a green OTTB, which I really wouldn’t recommend knowing what I do now. That said, what I did was stop listening to the people and I started listening to my horse. My boy made my prove myself over and over and over again. But when I stepped back and looked at things from a distance I realized he was happy. He wasn’t being destroyed, abused, hurt or injured. I pushed his limits most every day, and he pushed mine. A lot of people had opinions. While I listened to gleen information, I listened to my horse. Today he’s a happy, healthy horse who, despite how bad something frustrates or scares him, tries his best to figure out how to do what I ask of him.
Lesson horses (in my limited experience) tend to be horses that are thrown in a field when they aren’t working. They aren’t the “family members” our own/leased horses are. My best friend had cancer. She took a half lease on an old lesson horse. He was grumpy, miserable to catch and basically an ass. But she listened to him, learned him, and turned him around. He never became a great jumper. He never fully stopped spooking. But his whole attitude changed. She could catch him. He stopped being a jerk in lessons with her and others. She made him happy. Sometimes your horsemanship is way more important than your riding ability. Who gives a crap if you’re not the fanciest dressage rider. Who cares if you win or lose at a competition? Who cares if you take a rail, or 6 down? Did you enjoy your time on the horse? Did YOU cause any injuries to the horse? Did you get hurt or cause anyone else to get hurt? Is the horse’s life better for having known you? Screw what people say when they attack you and run you down. The ones who care about you and the horses will always be willing to offer help or encouragement. The ones who are just looking to make money off you, or those who need to run to down to make themselves seem/feel better are the ones you just ignore.
Remember, not everyone is born with natural ability. Fewer still are born with deep pockets. Do what you feel you must. Listen to the horse. People are really cruel things sometimes. And sometimes a horse isn’t a good fit for you and no matter what you do it’s just not going to work. So don’t let that be the end of you either. I know this is a bit long-winded, just trying to give you examples that I’ve learned rather than just saying “forget the damba$$e$”, because really, that’s too easy and doesn’t ever work for me.
Expenses can be all over the place. Find a used tack store (or 3) and just peruse them. I have a ton of used stuff I bought for fraction of the price of new that’s worth 8 times what I paid for it. Discount stores rock too. For example; Spur Creek gets batches of leftover half chaps that are normally $50 and sells them for $20. The last brand new IRH4 helmet I bought on sale for $90. You can find halfway decent breeches for $20 at an equine consignment shop. You just have to be thrifty and forget about keeping up with the rich people buying brand name stuff. Not that there’s anything wrong with that as a lot of it is really good stuff. But, if you don’t worry about what others think and just get what works that you can afford the only ones who suffer your choices are you and maybe the horse depending upon what it is.
When you get your Masters you’ll be making better money and can afford better name stuff. But it won’t better you, no amount of money can do that. Listen to the horse. The horse will tell you. And then take that to heart.
