Or that they were ignorant because of no experience with this sort of thing.
I had no experience with horse abuse or gaslighting when it happened to me, so it took me a minute to figure out what was going on and to hitch up the trailer and go get my horse.
They don’t teach this shit in school. People can be really horrible and it’s hard to believe.
Huh? Thank you but no, I will not be silenced. This is a free forum and I will offer my opinion just like you.
@Knights_Mom and @h0rsel0ver,
“Moral policing” is not my intent. I asked that you please think carefully about the damage your inappropriate words can and will do to people who are in a very difficult and painful situation.
Asking for considered thought before posting is easily understood by me and by many other people, is to be asking only for common courtesy, and not the equivalent of “moral policing.”
Since you have no issues with your (and others’) posts that I find abhorrent, and some people here seem to agree with you, I’ll concede and discontinue my participation, as you have requested.
The actions of Jane’s parents after the assault are not relevant and have no bearing on the assault. Nothing they did or didn’t do after the alleged assault could have prevented it from taking place. How, in your mind, is it even “potentially relevant” as to whether or not an assault took place?
The action of the Ben’s parents is entirely relevant as the suit is alleging their lack of supervision created the circumstance in which an assault could occur. The allegation is that if they had been properly supervising the minors under their care and control, he assault would have been prevented.
Surely you see the difference? Nothing anybody did or didn’t do AFTER an assault is relevant to how the assault occurred.
Also, I don’t understand any of this paragraph, I am an American. I get our politics. Why are you bringing in labor law? And as a sexual assault survivor, I think I get the issues. I think I get the “potentially horrific” issues. I am sorry your horse was abused, but that seems like a nonsequitur. I don’t get what you’re going for here.
What are you talking about?
No worries. I have no intention of further participating here unless I’m super compelled. I am not at this time.
I have not requested anyone do anything.
I have always agreed that the girl’s parents actions or inactions have nothing to do with an assault that already took place. Obviously.
The Ebeling parents are being sued for negligence and inadequate supervision. With respect to the cause of action against them, it appears to me that the girl’s parents were not sufficiently alarmed by the revelation of the underage drinking to take her out of the program.
I’m saying it is unfair to expect parents in this situation to respond perfectly. That is putting YOUR expectations of probably never being in this situation onto people who have never had to deal with this situation.
Add the pressure of modern life and it is not hard to understand why parents might accept the easier explanation.
If you can’t accept that, then maybe you live a charmed life. Lucky!
I think she was responding to your statement “I appreciate your instinct to help, but we don’t need it”.
It seems that there are a select few here intent on derailing the conversation. As a sexual assault survivor, I find the narrative dictated by a sole few to be both offensive and triggering. I urge us all to ignore the rabble rousers. I myself will be bowing out and watching. I stand behind Jane Doe. And I thank her for speaking her truth.
…I genuinely cannot tell if you are being purposefully obtuse, lol.
I found nothing inappropriate about what the poster said. It is the grim and unfortunate reality of the nature of the allegations ( from my own POV as a sexual assault survivor).
The “considered thought” does not come from not voicing or bringing up a sensitive line of inquiry but rather the intent and manner in which it is presented ( i.e., context matters, something easily understood by many other people and by me).
Scroll up. I agree that parents aren’t perfect.
Can we please move this discussion away from talking about the victim and her parents. They are sitting in a horrible place and everyone is speculating on the most personal details of their lives. Please stop. It’s an incredibly destructive thing.
If the one thing this thread demonstrates it is that we do have a problem in our sport. Please visit our site. Let’s start talking about what we can do to prevent this from happening again and again. Also, please listen to this Reddit talk. It’s something every parent, athlete and coach needs to hear.
https://www.reddit.com/talk/79f5b636-58b1-4daf-a861-498c70438f30
www.weridetogether.today
You are making huge jumps to conclusions and assuming many facts that aren’t known. So that you can draw these conclusions that have no support about these events, and state them with an authoritative tone. This is the kind of thing that drags these threads down.
Your statement assumes a lot of other facts for it to be true.
“they kept the girl in training” - assumes the parents were of the opinion that she should continue there, and also assumes that the circumstances while she was at the barn were the same as before - we have ZERO facts or evidence that either is true
It is possible that the girl insisted on continuing in her 14 year old logic, and convinced her parents that it would be in her best interests, because –
" they were not sufficiently alarmed by the incident ", “It appears that neither set of parents were aware of the alleged sexual battery at the time.” - at this time we have ZERO knowledge of their thoughts - no interpretation of the very spare information we have is valid, it is just noise and a waste of space
The problem is that this type of invalid speculation, stated in such a forthright manner, may later be mis-remembered by some readers as a fact they read somewhere, and they may repeat it as such elsewhere. But it isn’t fact. It is just internet lawyering for an ego boost.
And now I’m getting sucked into counter-speculation.
Think I’ll expand my ignore corral because this is not the conversation I come for on COTH.
Sorry my last post was in before I saw yours.
I agree and am giving up on attempts to try to counter the speculation. It’s sucking me in as well.
Thanks for all that you are doing.
That and a dollar will buy you a cup of coffee. How things “appear” to you has no bearing on what actually happened and no bearing on the case. What difference does it make why they let her continue training there? And more importantly, what does your speculation about why that might be matter?
Do you have kids? Underage drinking wouldn’t be particularly alarming to a lot of parents. It happens. And it happens without the adults in charge knowing. Kids are sneaky and smart. Most parents would be some combination of angry / upset / disappointed, but not necessarily alarmed.
What Jane Doe’s parents did or didn’t do has absolutely no bearing on the case and therefore shouldn’t be up for discussion here. Please show some class and leave them out of it.
I wasn’t aware of who hired you to be an independent investigator.
But saying what you would do as fact and then using that as evidence in the narrative in your head deserves condescension because it is dumb. Sorry for stating the truth on that.
You’ve invented a whole story about what must have happened because you filled in a whole story about what you, the perfect parent, would absolutely do in that situation and therefore in your mind it should have played out differently.
I’m bowing out. This kid and her parents don’t deserve this nonsense. As another poster pointed out, there is little to gain in filing a frivolous suit here.
In the civil suit complaint it says that the girl returned to train at the farm for “some months” before she switched to another training barn. 
The only comment that I am basing my opinion on is the statement that verified that the poor girl was drunk and disheveled when delivered to her parents. No invention- no story.
By submitting your email, you agree to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. You may also receive promotional emails from The Chronicle of the Horse. You can opt out at any time.
For Customers
Company
Terms of Use
