I recently bought a mare and we are battling it out over who is in charge. Right now she is for sure because I’m very new to the horse scene. What are some ground work excercises I can do with her to show her who is boss? Any other suggestions on establishing my dominance over her? I have a 4 year old who is constantly around so I want the mare to be on her best behavior and not decide to test me with something around my daughter.
My best exercise would be to work closely with a qualified trainer, and keep small children at a safe (far away) distance outside the work area while training with your horse. That is an injury waiting to happen.
Excellent advice. No book can teach you to read a horse, and being able to read a horse is very important to ground work. You are not looking to achieve “dominance”, but cooperation.
Four year olds do not under any circumstances belong around barns, and large animal, and even some so-called small animals without active and constantly aware & available supervision.
You don’t “establish dominance” over a horse. The model of dominance that people love to talk about doesn’t even apply to wolves, much less horses. Trying to “establish dominance” over a horse is likely to put you in the hospital. I’ve seen it happen to people before.
What you should do is find a qualified trainer who truly understands the nature of horses, and knows how to work with the horse to set boundaries to keep everyone (including the horse) safe, happy, and healthy. And in the meanwhile you should take lessons from a good instructor on a well-schooled horse to learn timing and feel, both on the ground and in the saddle. And keep any small children at a safe distance.
I’d get a sitter if at all possible in the beginning to you can focus solely on your horse.
I once boarded at a barn where people often brought their young kids with them and let them run amok. That was an accident waiting to happen.
The barn I’m currently at also has a few kids that come with their parents, but the kids ride and understand how to behave around horses and thus far there haven’t been any problems.
OP, if you have a young horse who has some behavioral issues, IMO you will need to focus entirely on that when you are at the barn. If you always have to keep one eye on your child outside the ring, that’s attention you are taking away from the horse at a time when you need to keep both eyes on it.
From your other thread:
Is the 4yo the daughter who rode the mare when she was boarded with your trainer?
If this is the case you really need to get some help from an experienced horseperson.
Before one of you gets hurt.
You need a professional to help on a regular basis or even send her to someone else for training.
Horses learn by repetition, so every time you handle her and she is rude, ignoring you, or dangerous she is learning that this is acceptable behavior (even if you aren’t happy about it).
Unfortunately some of the best horses can be ruined because of the lack of proper handling.
You need a good trainer. Please don’t think of it as battling or establishing dominance, you will get hurt.
The real key is never buying a horse whom it is beyond your abilities at the time to control.
I really really hope you find some very good help as this could and badly for you and the poor horse.
And please, please, do not allow the four year old anywhere near a horse you can’t control.
As a Mom, you have to teach your young child rules and boundaries first. My children now where to and not to go, to stay where I can see them out of my way and the horses and when I call their name they are to answer me immediately. When I follow with where are you even if I am looking right at them, they tell me. If I esk if they are okay, they tell me. When I ask one where another is even if all are right there, I get an answer. It takes time to get there but they HAVE to know what they are to do and how to be at the barn. (If you have an empty stall you can see in while working, toys in there also works well as a play area.) They also are constantly reminded how to be around the horses. CONSTANTLY. Once you establish that, then you can work with your mare while at the barn with your 4 year old without another adult to babysit, not before.
Brushing, bonding, learning her signals will get you started. Lunging, long lining (my favorite for remaining in control) and even leading where you control pace, direction and backing up. Set boundaries are important but if you are new AND still having to work with your child, then you need to get some help or your daughter is most likely the one who is going to get hurt. You don’t want that. No mother does and even with my children being so good, I still worry about the potential risks if something went wrong. Don’t chance it.
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Also consider if that one mare is really suitable for what you want, or maybe a really old, dead quiet, pokey, saint of a horse could fit the situation better until all of you learn more?
Those confidence builders that won’t take advantage when they can, as your mare is doing, may be what is safest and most enjoyable for your situation.
You can move to more horse later, kids older and everyone more experienced.
From the other thread it sounds like the horse was well mannered while at the trainer’s facility with professional handling. Please consider taking her back there while you gain more experience.
In general, horses don’t “dislike” being around other horses.
What you see if they are biting and kicking each other, is a settling-in process to determine their relative status. It doesn’t mean they don’t like or need each other. Indeed, the more the horse interacts, the more social it really is, and the more it probably does need other horses around.
Generally, it is not a good idea to keep a horse alone.
[QUOTE=Scribbler;9014624]
In general, horses don’t “dislike” being around other horses.
What you see if they are biting and kicking each other, is a settling-in process to determine their relative status. It doesn’t mean they don’t like or need each other. Indeed, the more the horse interacts, the more social it really is, and the more it probably does need other horses around.
Generally, it is not a good idea to keep a horse alone.[/QUOTE]
I would say that horses come in all kinds, some that can’t live comfortably alone, some that like company, some that don’t so much, some not at all.
Right now our 19 year old is happier without anyone around, he doesn’t has to feel that he has to be alert and watching what other is going around him, doesn’t nicker when we take all others away or bring them back.
He will take more naps when alone than with other horses around, when he then stand up to sleep more.
He is not an exception, we had others, especially older horses, that also were not necessarily stressed without company, if not more so with company.
Then, other horses, young ones especially, tend to do better with other horses around.
They may take more naps when other horses are watch-pots for them.
We have to always consider the horse as the individual it is, then go with what that one horse requires.
In the OP’s situation, I am not sure that we can say much, there could be something very simple missing, or need serious professional intervention if that mare’s behavior is really getting out of hand.
Can’t say without seeing what is going on in person.
