Divorce change be very hard on some people. Uprooted life, lose your home, income goes to zip, and all the worries of life are on you, no one to share the burden.
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While this is all true, it does not excuse the non-responsiveness of the HO and seemingly blatant disregard of the bill, and the fact the horse seemed in very in need of the service.
If they are that strapped cash wise due to the divorce, it would be in their benefit to be transparent about it and at least make an attempt to see if a payment plan is an option. Most providers are willing to work with people to some degree as long as they arenāt a-holes.
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I know this is probably not something that OP can get involved in ā¦
If owner truly cannot afford what this mare needs, it might be time to find the mare a new home and take the financial burden off this owner. Even as a giveaway ā to a thoroughly reliable home, of course.
I understand that this could be another heartbreak after the divorce. But it might also be a relief to the owner.
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You are very lucky you have never been so over-faced with life that you canāt solve anything. Itās get up, go to work, come home, and cry. Iām not saying this woman is going through that bad of a scenario but, Iād give her the benefit of the doubt until I could calmly talk to her about the situation. Losing your home, for whatever reason, can be extremely difficult.
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I live that life day to day with multiple chronic illnesses. I have many days where getting out of bed my biggest win. Somedays I can function at a higher level, but most I cannot, and the days are not predictable. I still have to push through though, and have had to do so basically all my life. It makes even the easiest tasks/to-doās for most people be out of reach for me some days. Work still expects me to work, bills have to be paid, meals need to be planned/cooked, laundry needs to be done and the house needs to be cleaned. That stuff has always been hard for me and then you throw AUDHD on top of it and itās a real picnic.
Im very well aware of what going through a divorce is like as well. My ex husband ghosted his family and friends for months to the point that they were reaching out to me about what was going on and if things were ok. I get that itās hard, but the rest of the world doesnāt stop and being avoidant just makes things worse in the long run.
If this women is ghosting the vet clinic, Im going to bet sheās not going to be happy to talk about it with the BO either. From the sounds of this, the BO has already given some grace about the situation but that canāt go on forever.
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Iāll buy this for a month, max.
Several months? Itās time to get your [crap] together. You donāt get to screw other people over because youāre having a hard time.
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Going thru a rough time is horrible and I agree that, like all situations in life, we (general) need to be understanding.
Butā¦ that never makes it OK to just ignore the world that is trying to take care of your horse.
The horse owner could have simply said up front that they are going thru a lot and they canāt afford the dentist, when the OP told them the dentist was coming.
Heck, there are endless ways this could be handled.
It seems like both the dentist and the barn owner have been quite understanding.
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I never said it was ok to act the way she is, Iām saying that sometimes the stresses of life can make a person act way out of character.
But itās wonderful to know that many of you are so strong you can march right through life always doing the right thing.
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The clairvoyant declarations of divorce and other difficulties are cracking me up. Not because they are improbable, but because some of your already feel sorry for the HO lacking any factual basis for doing so.
Hey maybe sheās trapped under a piano, has anyone given that a thought? Like, come onā¦have a heart.
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I am voting a T-rex has something to do with it. That seems far more likely to me. (And there is a good T-rex as part of the emojis here, and there is no piano emoji.)
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Expressing possibilities, giving alternative perspectives, etc. is not āfeeling sorry for the HOā while lacking any specifics regarding the HO. Itās saying, hey, this is shitty, but sometimes even shittier stuff happens to reasonably decent people that can make them seem really far off the rails. It is NOT saying this particular HO fits that bill. Itās saying, hey, this is a possibility.
Many people who have suffered seriously through and after divorce may understand this. Some may not. People who have not gone through divorce probably cannot understand it unless theyāve studied it. YMMV depending on the size of the scoop of empathy you took on the assembly line 
Further, saying āHere is a potential reason for this shitty behaviour.ā is not excusing the behaviour, nor is it asking for a pass or to overlook it.
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If youāre sniping at me Iām not making clairvoyant declarations. Iām saying maybe thereās some heavy stuff going on in this womanās life so before she is burned at the stake as a witch, how about asking if she practices witchcraft. 
And āheavy stuffā is different for each person. Just because one person can soldier on with no apparent problem doesnāt mean the next person can.
Yeah, maybe that piano is grief and fear. Step back a minute and let the BO talk to the woman again.
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You expressed that beautifully.
Well I guess we should be grateful she doesnāt have kids /s
Many of us have been through extremely difficult personal situations. Speaking for myself, I know I have.
But I paid my bills and I certainly it never ghosted anyone like this.
I moved heaven and earth to keep my horse during my messy divorce and 4 moves of my residence in a year and the extremely tight $$ that went with it.
And when my horse needed something if I couldnāt foot the bill I called the provider, explained the situation and made arrangements. Everyone was understanding and willing to work with me.
You donāt just ghost people. Everybody has bills to pay and no body works for free.
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For bad tenants, we often had to have the sheriff serve a notice to quit as the tenant wouldnāt accept delivery of a certified letter. Just something to keep in mind.
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From the report on the mare, it sounds like this horse was never taken to the dentist, even before the divorce. All the other bills are paid. It sounds more like the boarder doesnāt think the work was necessary or was too costly and itās more of a point of principle that they are dodging the bill.
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Tell that to the bank, when they repossess their car because you were going through a hard time and didnāt pay.
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What part of an explanation requires it to also be an excuse? What part of saying this could be a huge thing that is dragging this person to the bottom while theyāre wearing cement shoes means that debts should be forgiven?
None of it. It literally means, hereās a possibility - do with it what you will. Additionally, it says, this person may not be the evil creature you believe them to be - do with that what you will.
Do we know she doesnāt have kids? (Iām not going back through to check) and what the heck does that have to do with anything?
Well done YOU! Please understand that you are not everyone, though. Not everyone is as resilient. Not everyone can see light at the end of the tunnel. Not everyone is able to soldier on in adverse conditions. Not everyone is able to meet financial difficulties head on.
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The horse is her responsibility she needs to meet it.
Hopefully she is not shirking her other responsibilities, like job or kids.
Itās easy to let the horse go by the wayside, she knows it will still be fed and cared for the OP. Other things in life arenāt so easy to let slide without serious ramifications , like getting fired, repo, foreclosure or child protective services
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